Etiquette for Single Midlife Women on How to Meet Men at Sports Bars
For all the single ladies seeking to meet more men and go on more dates who read my blog post from yesterday suggesting you leverage the Law of Large Numbers and Getteth Thee to a Sport Bar…. there are a number of DOs and DON’Ts for Dating Success while there.
This Marriage Motivates Single Women’s Dating Strategy Tactic of going to Sports Bar periodically to meet eligible bachelors in a natural, organic, and casual manner is generally geared for women in their 30s and 40s.
However, sort of depending on where you live and the state of the Sports Bars locally, some mature men over 50 might be there as well to cheers on the local team in a public venue. So, it can be useful for women over 50s as well. I would just suggest then that you attend on a GNO Girls Night Out motif with a few slightly younger girlfriends so your being there is clearly social should the male crowd not suit you this time. Treat it as a recon trip and glean what you can about the viability of this watering hole for you to meet TIP Target Ideal Prospect date material for you in the future.
Ok, yes, first of all, what to wear? Of course, you are an attractive woman, so make-up, heels, and lipstick….
1. Wear a Sports Team Jersey – DO or DON’T?
Do wear the jersey for the local team ONLY. If you wear the jersey for the opposing out of town team, we will need to 86 you and will have grounds to do so! lol. Seriously, that is just not the confrontational energy you want for fostering romantic chemistry.
You do not have to wear a sports jersey to attend a game at a Sport Bar. Now, if that is absolutely super genuinely you, DO go ahead and wear your local team. In general, it is almost a bit competitive with the guys, and that competitive energy is not conducive for romantic chemistry and body language flirting.
Women can wear the team’s cute Ladies Tshirts which often have a touch of lycra and feature a touch of bling accentuating the team logo. Do dress feminine, cute, and casual. Blue jeans are great on this occasion, often paired with high heels to complete the look where you convey your message of being a woman. Not a sports fan. Different energy.
Where to Sit and How to Behave
2. DO bring a couple of friends with you, preferably all women.
Your girlfriends are your wing men (girls) and can set you up, chatski with a cute guy, and then turn and introduce you, positioning you well. Not all of you need to be huge sports enthusiasts. So long as you genuinely enjoy a game periodically, go. You can always ask those safe feminine conversation starters of the men to explain it to you! “I’ve never really understood the call of Icing in hockey…. Could you please explain it to me?” uttered in your sweetest femmy voice.
3. DON’T Bring Your Whole Sorority House or Junior League Committee Team with You
While studies demonstrate that engaged women had a group of girlfriends they regularly go out to dinner with and make social efforts with, studies also show that the most effective groups are small – 3-4 women. Men feel like they would have to break into a herd to reach you when your group is more than 4 women. Bring your girlfriends, just keep it to a small group, ok?
4. DO Sit at a Cocktail Bar Table Right In the Middle of the Bar Area
Sitting at a table in the middle area of the bar puts you in the middle of the action, and you are surrounded by all sides with other fans with whom you can lightly flirt and interact. Often there will be at least one table of a group of men to your left or to your right. A group of 4 men as well. In this group not all the men are necessarily single. Some might be married.
When you are in a super public place like this watching a sports game, it is perfectly acceptable simply to flirt with all of them lightly and you mean nothing more by it. So here it is ok to flirt with the married guy just the same at the single men. This is a great time to practice your Body Language Flirting skills with no need to worry or fret. You don’t need to do anything to steer it to his asking you for your number or a date. You do want to practice your light flirting skills while you are getting polished, poised, and skilled without it being Mr. Hotty the first time you try them out.
You’re all just there to have fun and watch the game. At the end of the evening head home. No harm no foul. Or as we say in Stanley Cup hockey, “No blood, play on!”
5. DO Cheer For Your Local Team
No need to be timid females where you’re to demure to utter a word while there. This is a Sport Bar with a sporting event playing. Whoop it up when the save if in your team’s favor or when the score a touchdown or a goal! Go ahead! You’re here to have fun.
6. DON’T Be the Loudest Table at the Bar
Being super loud with the cheers is a very yang aggressive male mode. Yes, women can be enthusiastic sports fans and can cheer. Just don’t be the loudest table there!
7. DON’T Hide at a Small Side Table in the Dark
You might feel really shy the first time you go to a sports bar. However, don’t just sit at a small table in the far dark corner and hide or you completely wasted your whole point in going to the sports bar.
8. DO Be Sure to Break Periodically from the Pack of Your Girlfriends and Cross to the Bar Alone
When you break from The Pack of your girlfriends, you provide both the opportunity for an interested man to approach you.
Additionally, by doing so, while you are crossing the room, you are displaying yourself to the men there, that you are an attractive and romantically available woman. This is the Mating Equivalent of Dangling the Wiggling Sparkling Bait in front of a school of hungry fish.
So don’t just rely on your cocktail waiter or waitress to serve your table all evening. Do create reasons for you to go up to the bar alone throughout the evening.
9. DO Head Over on None Date Nights
Sunday and Monday nights? Where the Boys are? Well, lots of them are at the Sports Bar this Fall and Winter. Go ahead and place yourself there strategically, too. You never know what might develop!
Secondarily, while I am recommending that you head on over to a fun sport bar watering hole to watch The Game on a weeknight, come playoff season for each of the sports and you can go over at other times, including normal “Date Nights.” Stanley Cup Playoffs trump everything.
10. Don’t Let Your Chance Meeting Today Become His Hookup Tonight
That said, you’d still likely do a bit better in terms of the size of the crowd being sufficient to make it worthwhile and still yet small enough to permit casual conversation and mingling to attend some of those Saturday or Sunday afternoon Playoffs games. Saturdays and he might half be thinking he could snag a dinner date with you. Smile. Be sweet. Make sure he has your number. And demur. “Oh, I’d really enjoy that. I already have plans. Oh, gosh….” If he’s interested and there’s been some conversational exchange, he’ll hopefully right then and there ask for a date for another time. Generally, you’d prefer that he be the instigator (testosterone interest test) of actually suggesting another night. Just because he asked for that evening doesn’t mean as a sure sign that he’s interested in dating you. He might be hoping for an easy hook up and figure he can segue from a few beers at the sports bar to “dinner” which might just prove to be the burgers on the sports bar’s kitchen menu for grub and a quick exit stage left to the bedroom without actually really Dating. The Rules helped a generation raised on the easy sex meaning “liberation” tails of our aunts to realize that Dating meant forethought and advance planning a mini-event in a Date. I’m not being a prude here. If that’s what you want, that’s your choice. But then don’t be surprised that that same man is not interested in Dating/Courting you. He’s not using you if you went into it with your eyes open choosing just a hook-up. I just don’t recommend it for marriage-motivated single women because the behavior and neuropathway trailways are counterproductive for resulting in what you seek.
Long term, hook-ups are inefficient and huge cost of energy not moving your down the pathway of long-term relationships and life-long love, possibly marriage.
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
Las Vegas Midlife After 40 Over 50 Dating Expert
As seen in Dating for Dummies, 3rd Edition
April Braswell is an expert columnist at DatingAdvice.com and speaks to singles in Singles Groups and Divorce Support Groups as well as at Singles Dating Workshops and Singles Conferences. Looking to Hire April to speak at your Singles Event?
Follow and Engage with April on Twitter: @AprilBraswell
Travis says
March 19, 2011 at 10:49 AMAmazing post, so true. Men find women who enjoy sports like baseball now to be really hot. Just don’t over talk the game!