Continuing on the theme of Online Dating and that all important great Internet Dating Profile creation, here is some more introductory material.
13 years ago, internet dating was unusual. There were only a handful of sites. And if you were on one of them and blithely and successfully meeting and dating other singles there, you spoke about it in hushed voices. When friends or family members asked you how you met your current girlfriend or boyfriend, you were in a jam trying to make up a story rather than tell them how you really met. And for those lucky many who actually met their fiancés online, they were mortified and their best man and maid of honor had the perfect story for sharing at their toast at their weddings to poke fun at them.
Times sure have changed.
Online dating has gone mainstream. It is a mature market and perfect acceptable and normal now. Everyone knows others who have tried it and succeeded at it and many know at least someone who met their spouse online. Internet dating is now totally normal.
So normal, in fact, that what is now daunting is selecting from the hundreds upon hundreds of internet dating sites.
[Note 2019: More] Thousands by now.
How are you to choose? It has literally opened up a brave new world to singles of hundreds of thousands of other singles to choose from. It can seem overwhelming. In fact, influence and persuasion studies demonstrate that when humans have more than a handful of choices, the brain goes into overwhelm. You cannot distinguish the nuanced differences between the choices. And so you make no choice whatsoever. You don’t make a purchase. In terms of for singles, what that means is you remain single.
But when you have a strategy. When you first have a system for determining what you want in a relationship, what you specifically want, not just what your good friends or family members want. Then we can work a system for meeting, dating, and courting til we mate select and marry.
Depending on your own wishes, you might choose to form a life partnership relationship without marriage. Or you might choose to marry. It’s the 21st century. That is your choice. As Devo used to sing, “Freedom of choice is what you want.” Well, now you have it.
This is like using your GPS to get where you want. This of this as setting your Love GPS. First you have to determine your destination. What is your Love GPS target destination? Romantic fling? Just getting your feet wet again in the modern dating scene after your divorce finalized? Looking for love, a life-long relationship? A LTR without the strings and legal contract of marriage? Marriage? Then you program it in. Then you follow the directions. Sometimes you will need to adjust along the way…. “Recalculating.” That’s what life is like. And then finally you find you have reached your destination. “Arrived.”
Without that roadmap and a clear target, you might have a wonderful drive, but you will be lost and without an outcome in mind.
I have traveled this road before. I was involved in the wonderful early days of internet dating when they really were blind dates because we didn’t commonly have the technology to post digital photos. I will be your tour guide to point out the map and the route to take as well as some of the delightful Scenic Routes and Special Attractions along the way which you might want to explore before arriving at your destination.
Having been widowed, I am now also your active tour guide who is right back on the road along with you, equipped with a road map and experiencing the current terrain alongside you. Things are different now. The kind of relationship many divorced or widowed singles want now is often different than that of what a single-never married single desires. I point out the differences and some of the strategies to accommodate either destination that is appropriate for you.
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
Las Vegas Online Dating Expert
Steve Chambers says
October 2, 2009 at 12:25 AMTechnology has changed the dating field and I”m sure more changes are coming down the pike. Looking froward to learning more about the roadmap to online dating success.
Steve Chambers, Sale Trainer Speaker
Jose Escalante says
October 1, 2009 at 11:51 PMThis is amazing April. You are showing me how important it is to have a road map in every aspect of your life
Jose Escalante
Keri Eagan says
October 2, 2009 at 12:43 AMToo many choices. I recall reading a study about the optimum number of choices in a supermarket, think the product was jam. Any more than 6 and customers stopped buying (something along those lines anyway). Clearly what I need is just six men to choose from and I’ll be sweet.
Keri Eagan
Rob Northrup says
October 2, 2009 at 5:08 AMGood thing they have you to teach them the ropes.
Seize the Day,
Rob
Jennifer Battaglino says
October 2, 2009 at 7:57 AMHey Lady!
Great post as usual that simply solidifies your expertise in the field of dating and relationships.
It’s true, your first reaction to online dating when it first started was that this is where the serial killers went to find their next victim… Now it’s totally acceptable and I know plenty of people who do it…I will send them your way so they can optimize their experience!
Jen Battaglino
The Harwood Center – Tinnitus, Chronic Illness, Fears, and Anxiety
Robert Martin says
October 2, 2009 at 7:11 AMYou are definetely right. Amazing how I use to feel about friends of mine who met people online, now I have changed. I have seen many relationships work out perfectly. Seems people build a lot of rapport, finding more out about each other online, versus the in person nervous make yourself look good situation. If it works go with it.
Time is an issue today, making the the online dating scene better for a lot of people.
Robert Martin
Martin says
October 2, 2009 at 7:19 AMI hate my GPS! I like to know where I’m going, but I’m flexible about the route and get to see some nice places and special attractions I wouldn’t have seen if I’d followed the standard instructions.
The Art and Science of Dating, though, is as much about chemistry as knowing the type of person you’re looking for. How can you be specific about the combination of pheromones you’re looking for?!
Lisa says
October 2, 2009 at 11:57 AMVery interesting point. Although you are dating, there still needs to be a strategy and goals.
As for the popularity of online dating these days, I do remember the days when it was an embrassment to admit. My friend had met her boyfriend online (she had already let me know this), and when our friends asked her and her boyfriend how they met, they both gave two different responses at the same time! He said, “the net” and she said, “through friends.” It was amusing to me at the time, but to her it was mortifying.
MissMentor
Mister P says
October 2, 2009 at 2:14 PMIt’s important to always think ahead even in your social life.
Bert (alter ego- Mister P)
Anthony Lemme says
October 2, 2009 at 6:04 PMHi April!
I have not personally done any internet dating and hope I never have to but what an amazing way to meet potential partners, lovers, friends. Two of my good friends met their wives online and they have amazing relationships.
Anthony
Katie says
October 2, 2009 at 8:43 PMKeri, you’re already sweet! It is jam and the store did best when presenting less than 6 flavors, 3 were enough to induce buying, more than 6 and fewer people than normal will buy.
31 flavors, I don’t think so. Vanilla is still #1 . . . 30% of all ice cream sales.Find your preferred flavor and optimize!
Katie
April Braswell says
October 2, 2009 at 10:12 PMHi Katie,
It was a Stanford University study right around the corner from where I lived for 2 yrs. My hypothesis is that they did it at Draegers. A very happy yuppie store. Yes, I frequently frequented it. Great place to meet single men, too!
Thanks for stopping by and commenting at my blog.
April
Darryl Pace says
October 3, 2009 at 5:17 PMVery good post, April. It’s good to have a mentor who knows the terrain to show you which way to go.
Health, Fitness for Working People — Darryl Pace
Lisa McLellan says
October 3, 2009 at 10:01 PMAh yes, my sister met her spouse online! Turns out, I knew his sister, but we didn’t even figure that out until about 6 months after they had started dating.
I think online dating is a great idea – you get to “shop” from the comfort of your own home!
Lisa McLellan
Child Care Expert,
Babysitting Services, Babysitting Tips, Babysitters, Nannies
John Ho says
October 4, 2009 at 6:38 AMApril,
Yes, how times have changed: What was behind the closet is now in mainstream!
And 6 degrees of separation also comes in too.
John Ho
Mark Joyner, in his Simpleology 103 “The Simple Science fo Personal Energy”, listed out the importance of managing in the following descending order:
– Decrease Distress
– Use Proper Fuel
– Increase Eustress
– Conserve
– Boost
So the booster is the least important int he overall scheme of things.
John Ho
Hezron says
October 5, 2009 at 1:33 PMWhile online dating may work for some, others find it a nightmare. Countless stories of people lying about their age, companies using fake profiles to bait users. I agree with April it is just one option to use but be very careful about the people one meets online. For me, I have used it in the past. I conclude some women use it to “seek attention” Most women are not interested in dating, but rather interested in getting attention from desparate, lonely men. In my opinion, some women use it to feed thier ego.
Pam Schulz says
October 7, 2009 at 7:50 PMTechnology has changed EVERYTHING! YOU are a terrific dating “GPS” system for those singles looking the way to relational success!
Pam
Avery says
December 16, 2010 at 7:28 PMI see of a lot of junkie profiles April. Do you think they are fake people?
D'ontae says
December 16, 2010 at 11:05 PMThe fact that continue to amaze me is the sameness and how generic the dating profiles people use.
Jodie says
March 12, 2011 at 7:21 AMInternet dating sites seem so good…