Interracial dating used to be taboo. Of course, anything which is a bit taboo adds an element of “turn on” and makes it interesting, fascinating, and captivating. Back before in the 1960s interracial marriage was illegal in some states, married couples could not book a room together at certain motels and hotels. Some college universities are even infamous for their former embarrassing stances against interracial dating and marriage.
Times sure have changed.
This is 2009 and 2010 fast approaches. Barack Obama is in the Oval Office. His wife, who so many of all different political beliefs, Michelle Obama, is not of the precisely same ethnic and racial background as he. Interracial, cross-cultural, and multi-cultural dating for singles has become quite mainstream and part of the dating “norm” these days.
As a dating expert, one of the things which I consistently find so amazing is when I talk with singles who are feeling frustrated in their dating endeavors, and I ask, “Do you date interracially?” And the single responds with a, “No.” Once I dig a little further, in most cases it is not that they don’t find men and women of different ethnic and racial groups attractive.
In many cases it was simply because they really had not thought to pursue it and had not seriously considered another single not of their precisely identical racial heritage.
Interracial Dating Success Tip #1 – Keep an Open Mind
When you are first starting out with interracial and cross-cultural dating, keep an open mind, cast a wide net, and consider a number of different ethnic groups. In your online dating profile, you want to specifically check all the different ethnic background groups so singles in those groupings see your profile returned to them in their internet dating search results.
Interracial Dating Success Tip #2 – Keep Your Conversations Open
For a number of singles, you might be initially finding yourself segmenting and filtering other singles into ethnic and racial stereo types. You are not doing something terribly racist. This is how the brain functions. People naturally filter others and classify them in some way so the brain is not overwhelmed by too much information in the world.
What this means in the context of interracial and cross-cultural dating and relationships is it is better to err on the side of simply asking open ended conversational questions and genuinely getting to know your date. You want to refrain from assuming too much. It is always a captivating conversation skill to be interested in the other person. Ask questions about their life and listen. When you listen more, your charisma and attractiveness to others increases as well.
Interracial Dating Success Tip #3 – Keep Yourself Open to the Possibilities
Men more than women find their attraction is based rapidly upon initial physical appearance. There is no judgment in that statement. For men, attraction is highly visually stimulated. Be sure to date a number of singles from a number of different ethnic groups before you decide that singles in that ethnic racial group are not for you.
Of course, certain cities and metro areas, dating cross-culturally is easier in some than in others. For singles in Los Angeles, San Francisco Bay Area, Washington, DC, Boston, and New York, there are so many ethnic and cultural groups represented that you would almost have to make a drastic effort to date exclusively in your own ethnic group.
However, even so, some groups are more largely represented in some areas than in others. For example, there is a sizable Asian population in Orange County, CA, but African Americans are less represented in The OC. In Silicon Valley, there are a number Indian Asians. And African Americans are a larger population group in the San Francisco East Bay region.
When you are a single online looking for love be sure to consider dating and courting interracially. You just might find and marry your Soul Mate.
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
Internet Dating Profile Writer | Online Personals Ad Writer | Dating Profile Writer | Online Dating Profile Expert
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Martin says
November 10, 2009 at 4:07 AMBirmingham UK is a very multi-cultural, multi-racial city. The teenagers here (or at least the ones I’ve spoken with) don’t even think about race/culture – until it’s time to meet the parents. It’s more about attractiveness, complementary personalities and chemistry. It’s mostly the adults that have the hang-ups, not the kids.
John Ho says
November 10, 2009 at 6:04 AMApril,
I kn0w a couple in their mid-60s. One is Greek, the other half is Italian. Pretty happy couple and unusal when they got married in that time.
Names like Maria & Tony are so common then for them as they don’t speak English when they first arrived on Australia.
John Ho
April Braswell says
November 10, 2009 at 3:47 PMHi Martin,
thank you for stopping by and commenting at my blog.
Indeed, I find as I research and work with singles in different age group demographics that they are attracted to the PERSON.
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April
Keri Eagan says
November 10, 2009 at 3:37 PMHere in NZ we have a fairly well blended community and interracial dating has never been much of a big deal. Although once I brought a certain man of a different race home to meet my mother…who was not happy. I can see her point of view as she only wanted me to be cherished by whomever I was with and their track record of treating women isn’t great.
Keri Eagan
PS, those dating secrets are great!
Peter says
November 10, 2009 at 5:21 PMI added your dating tips blog to bookmarks. And I’ll read your dating articles more often.
Peter
Don Shepherd says
November 10, 2009 at 9:18 PMI guess if you keep an open mind it opens a lot of new possibilities. It’s kind of like fishing in Central Oregon. Just because you’re trying to catch a bass, you wouldn’t throw a trout back in the river if it was a keeper 🙂
Don Shepherd
Martin O'Connor says
November 11, 2009 at 5:08 AMWell April, I just took a look at your pink Twitter box to the right of the page.
Martin O’Connor
James Mason says
November 11, 2009 at 9:31 PMMy mother was about a third American Indian.
She looked very much like an Indian, too. She grew up during a time when it wasn’t really cool being an Indian.
We learned growing up people are people and not to discriminate.
James Mason
Vick says
November 12, 2009 at 6:58 AMI have a cousin who is white and married someone from India. They make the nicest couple – they compliment each other – not in words per se but in manner. It is more acceptable today for interracial dating. Heads used to turn – now it doesn’t receive a second glance or stare.
Vicki http://www.bridal-threads.com
April Braswell says
November 12, 2009 at 10:53 AMHi Vick,
Thank you for stopping by and commenting at my blog. You know? I would have thought so, too. But then I saw some of the comments people made to my post and had to block those because they were so racist and bigoted my mouth fell agape to read them.
April
Darryl Pace says
November 13, 2009 at 6:27 PMI know lots of interracial couples. It is common in Atlanta where I used to live, and in the church I attend.
Health, Fitness for Working People — Darryl Pace
Lisa McLellan says
November 14, 2009 at 10:33 PMI know many interracial couples. One couple in particular told me that they notice people staring, whispering and even giving them dirty looks or making rude comments. I find it appalling that in 2009 you would still find this behavior. Who cares who someone else is dating!
Lisa McLellan
Babysitting Services – Babysitter in your area
Steve Chambers says
November 15, 2009 at 7:55 PMSounds like good advice for someone interested in crossing the racial divide for their dating life. Probably good to think about the family repercussions that might arise if things get serious however.
Steve Chambers
Lynn says
November 19, 2009 at 1:30 AMJust be open to finding love, keep an open mind, and you will find it. It could be anyone! Lynn
Donna says
June 3, 2010 at 2:47 PMGood advice for dating and relationships, April. I know this article wasn’t about safety; but I want to make people aware that they should always be careful about who they meet online.
Jackie says
June 16, 2010 at 3:03 AMI love this page about your interracial dating tips. They are really have a lot of ideas and thoughts from your article and comments here at your dating blog. Good luck always! 🙂
Dontaekisha Bidlack says
December 16, 2010 at 7:04 PMI prefer men and women that keeping an open mind with dating it is very difficult to obtain that forms of comprehension almost any way. Perfect job April.