To continue on the theme of where and then some how for the singles who are 18, 19, and 20 years old, too young to go to any of the local singles bars and not all are off to full-time 4 year colleges where many meet and socialize with your peers.
This is also a helpful post for the young men and women vets back from serving our country abroad who ping me wanting learn (the guys), “How to talk to girls.” They often served right along side each other in battle, and yet romantic socializing is entirely different, isn’t it?
Since this is a question I receive frequently as a Dating Expert, I do want to address it further than just my initial tips I proposed yesterday. Much as the young women are looking for “Where the Boys Are,” so the young men wondering and asking me, “Where the girls are?” (Ok so they say “hot girls.”)
Young women, girls that age are often either shopping or working at the malls. This is a great place to congregate, and bring along 1 or 2 of your buddies with you, but you really want to keep your wingman group small least you intimidate a girl who might be shopping alone. Girls and women are often social creatures, and we can readily be found shopping together with our girlfriends. However, some of the sweet introvert temperament girls shop alone. 1 guy finding some way to break the ice and talk with her is one thing. But if 3 of you hover together, she might sort of freak and frighten easily, and you’ve lost your chance to talk a little, flirt a little, and ask for her phone number.
Additionally, if you have 1 or 2 friends with you and she has 2 or 1 friend with her, then you each can pair up a little or have only 1 or 2 to talk to, without having to talk with 3 which can feel like too much.
While you are at the mall, another great area to hang and congregate is in the food court area. You can walk around and consider your eating options. Your perfect opening conversation questions for breaking the ice in a completely socially polite way (not too person, not too much information, TMI, not too weird, not too over the top, 2OTT, yes the Millennials are a text-thinking generation) are….
What do you like to eat here?
What’s good here?
Why did you pick to eat here?
Any variation on those three, and you have an opening. Please also notice on the communication and conversation skill level, the 3 questions I just provided you with are all Open Ended Questions. Each prompts a response which is likely to be a sentence. They do not prompt for a Yes or a No response. A Yes or No response stops and ends the exchange. However when she responds with a sentence, she is providing additional information which you can further respond to her.
Girls you can safely say that to cute guys you see at the mall food court, too. This is the 21st century.
While girls love to shop at Victoria’s Secret, allow me to advise you to avoid going into Victoria’s Secret a lone 19 year old boy as well as to completely refrain from hanging out directly outside of the store. Most girls and many women will just find it too bold and rude and think you are a lech.
However, another store girls and women frequent is any kind of shoe store. Guys, you might as well know now in life, women love shoes. You can shop for shoes, too, and interact with girls in the store, and you’re good. It is also perfectly safe and socially acceptable to hang or be outside a shoe store to arrange to cross paths with girls.
To Summarize for your technical documentation:
Victoria’s Secret: Bad Idea
Shoe Store: Good Idea
Check over the next few days as I provide more tips for the 18-20 year olds for meeting each other outside of a singles bar.
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
Christian Dating Expert
Follow and Engage with April on Twitter: @AprilBraswell
Steve Chambers says
October 25, 2009 at 7:19 PMSounds like a great way to meet people.
Steve Chambers, Body Language Speaker
Kate McKeon says
October 25, 2009 at 10:41 PMSmall confession a few years back I had a young (i didn’t realize how young!) man ask me out. We met at a mutual friends’ party, he was very cute, very well spoken and already considered himself a business owner . . . I was hooked.
It was while we were at dinner after a few dates that I realized we may be in newish territory. I ordered wine, he didn’t . . . until after mine arrived. The he ordered one. It was in that moment I realized he was not of age. I was 31. Turns out he was 19. Not optimal.
All I can say is . . . now he’s 21….
Rowr,
kate
Jose Escalante says
October 25, 2009 at 9:50 PMPeople that are single and don’t know where to find dates need to go straight to you April for help. You are truly the expert!
Jose Escalante
Keri Eagan says
October 26, 2009 at 12:33 AMShoe store is SUCH a good idea! Even if we are not shopping we tend to look over that way….just in case there is something really good on special. Good shoes, like good men can be hard to find.
Keri Eagan
Martin O'Connor says
October 26, 2009 at 5:37 AMI guess it’s the same story only with a different venue. And when you stop to think about it going back to school might be good advice for the boomer crowd as well.
Martin O’Connor
Lisa McLellan says
October 26, 2009 at 12:53 PMYou even cover dating for the young ‘uns huh? You the best! Great idea. You are so right – Victoria’s Secret – No, no, no, girls will think you’re a creeper! Shoe store – YES! And the food court – definitely! When is there not a ton of girls and guys hanging in the food court area?
Lisa McLellan
Babysitting Services – Babysitter in your area
Rob Northrup says
October 26, 2009 at 12:02 PMThis is assuming that you have a great job and can afford a girlfriend who is addicted to shoes… much better if they are addicted to $5000 a square yard lingerie…
Too bad Victoria’s Secret doesn’t have a shoe department.
Seize the Day,
Rob
Lisa says
October 26, 2009 at 6:44 PMYes the shoe store is a wonderful idea! I would never think it weird and would be very approachable – especially if he could give me opinions (real ones!) about shoes he liked on women.
As for the food court, I’m extremely focused when it comes to ordering and deciding what to get (nothing should come between me and my meals). If someone approached me, hot or not, I would be less than pleased. So it’s important that guys learn to read signals from a girl – there’s a difference between being polite and interested. Yet many guys fail to notice this.
MissMentor
Jennifer Battaglino says
October 26, 2009 at 8:05 PMOh am I having flashbacks! You are definitely in touch with your younger side. You paint a picture we can all see and filled with sound advice.
Happy Dating and Relationships back at ya!
Jennifer
The Harwood Group – Tinnitus, Chronic Illness, Fears, and Anxiety
John Ho says
October 27, 2009 at 6:38 AMApril,
Talking about shoes, I think no one can beat the First Lady of the corrupted ex-Philippines President Marco. She’s alleged to have more than a thousand pairs of shoes!
So shoes? Great idea!
As to Kate McKenon’s interesting experience, I am 53 but to many (even to Asians themselves ), I look like 40 years old :))
John Ho
Martin says
October 27, 2009 at 11:05 AMShoe stores sound like a great dating zone. Need to make sure your own footwear is top notch if you’re going to hang out there. Otherwise you might get the boot!
JJ Jalopy says
October 27, 2009 at 1:23 PMGreat stuff April!
You’re full of great advice for people of all ages.
I could have done with your fantastic advice when I was 18!
Darryl Pace says
October 27, 2009 at 2:48 PMApril,
You brought back memories for me. When I was in my 20s, I often would go to the mall either by myself or with a friend. The food court, clothing stores, and the area of the mall where there was a movie theater were all good spots to meet people.
Health, Fitness for Working People — Darryl Pace