Internet Dating Tip for Guys: Why Winking Is Wimpy

Online Dating Help and Advice for Single Shy Guys: Why Winking Is Wimping Out

Yeah!  You did it!  You got a great dating profile photo from a professional photographer.

Check.

You did some advance preparation of what you want/don’t want in a relationship (hot chick, breathing, oh, wait, yeah, ah, great personality, smart, too, lol, it’s OK, I understand you guys).

Check

You did some advanced writing prep of a little bit about yourself, what you do on the weekend, what tv shows you enjoy, who are your favorite movie actors…..

Check

Yeah baby, and then you put it all together at an online dating site, and you click:  Submit for Review!

Yeah! YOU, Mr., are officially published with an internet dating profile puppy up and workin’ it for you online!  You are feeling cocky, confident, and pretty darned assured of yourself thinkun’ to yourself, “I am the man!  I am hot stuff!”

You are feeling pretty darned hot simply because indeed you hunted down that kill and got a profile up and published.  You didn’t just think about it and kept doing nuthin’ like some of your buddies.  Not that we’re naming names or anything.

As well you should be feeling pretty hot about your fine self and all you’ve accomplished this past week.  So while you’re feeling oh so hot, fabulous, and accomplished, you just start to click around a little at the dating site, conducting some searches on the categories and features you care most about in a long lasting love relationship [Why is there no “Hot Chick Here” category to click on, you’re wondering, oh yeah, wait, right, “Good Sense of Humor” and “Smart” and likes some of the same outdoors activities you do….].

And hey wow cool!  There are like a gazillion girls whose profiles returned to you in your search result.  WOW!  There are so many!  You can’t POSSIBLY write an individual uniquely captivating response to each of them now, could you?

And I’m not expecting you to.

However, part of your brain just got a BRILLIANT idea!  “Hey!  I’ll just send a wink to ALL them, hey, it’s free after all, and see who responds to me and writes me an email!”

Man, you ARE brilliant.  And really that was an online dating tactic which might have gotten you quite a lot of replies even only just a few years ago.  However now?  Now that is just a wimpy and wussie guy’s dating tactic.  How shall I put it tactfully?  It lacks oomph!  Men are hormonally and biologically to have a little oomph and pursue the women they are attracted to.

Well, you just wimped out with an online dating “Wink” and left all the heavy lifting of starting a real conversation to her.  Oye, would you do that in offline real life, too?  You’d have at least approached and offered to buy the lady a drink (alcoholic or non-alcoholic, her choice, no problemo, here).  Right.  Some effort.

And she’d have gushed a little at the cherishing gesture you just made and at least have uttered, “Oh gosh thank you!” even if she turns you down because she’s here with someone else or whatever.  Your gesture would have had some weight to it and it would have been [imagine a little manly chest beating here] WORTHY of her appreciation and admiration.

But a wink?

Oy!

You wimped out, man.

And then you wondered to yourself when absolutely NO ONE replied with a 3 paragraph uniquely admiring email response to you.  “Hey, internet dating must not work, at least not for me!” When really it was because, why, you wimped out with a wink.

There’s another thing she might be thinking if you winked.  Because with literally millions of singles online at the dating sites now with profiles, not everyone pays for their membership asap.  Some singles will post a profile and wait until there is some interest expressed – leaving it to the others… – before they will invest their cold hard cashish in purchasing the dating site’s membership.

So, she might be thinking when you wimped out and winked at her that you are not only lazy, but that you are also… [sad to say, but I must tell you] cheap.  Too cheap to pay for the membership and are leaving it to her to do so.  And she’s thinking, “If he is this wimpy, lazy, and cheap, then he’s not really interested in ME specifically.  He’s a time waster.  And April told me when that’s the case just to delete their missive and move on.”

And that’s why none of them ever responded to your wink.  Because they thought by now in the 21st century that that was wimpy.

But not a wimp, are you?  Nah, I didn’t think so.

Happy Dating and Relationships,

April Braswell

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