Online Dating Help and Advice for Single Shy Guys: Why Winking Is Wimping Out
Yeah! You did it! You got a great dating profile photo from a professional photographer.
Check.
You did some advance preparation of what you want/don’t want in a relationship (hot chick, breathing, oh, wait, yeah, ah, great personality, smart, too, lol, it’s OK, I understand you guys).
Check
You did some advanced writing prep of a little bit about yourself, what you do on the weekend, what tv shows you enjoy, who are your favorite movie actors…..
Check
Yeah baby, and then you put it all together at an online dating site, and you click: Submit for Review!
Yeah! YOU, Mr., are officially published with an internet dating profile puppy up and workin’ it for you online! You are feeling cocky, confident, and pretty darned assured of yourself thinkun’ to yourself, “I am the man! I am hot stuff!”
You are feeling pretty darned hot simply because indeed you hunted down that kill and got a profile up and published. You didn’t just think about it and kept doing nuthin’ like some of your buddies. Not that we’re naming names or anything.
As well you should be feeling pretty hot about your fine self and all you’ve accomplished this past week. So while you’re feeling oh so hot, fabulous, and accomplished, you just start to click around a little at the dating site, conducting some searches on the categories and features you care most about in a long lasting love relationship [Why is there no “Hot Chick Here” category to click on, you’re wondering, oh yeah, wait, right, “Good Sense of Humor” and “Smart” and likes some of the same outdoors activities you do….].
And hey wow cool! There are like a gazillion girls whose profiles returned to you in your search result. WOW! There are so many! You can’t POSSIBLY write an individual uniquely captivating response to each of them now, could you?
And I’m not expecting you to.
However, part of your brain just got a BRILLIANT idea! “Hey! I’ll just send a wink to ALL them, hey, it’s free after all, and see who responds to me and writes me an email!”
Man, you ARE brilliant. And really that was an online dating tactic which might have gotten you quite a lot of replies even only just a few years ago. However now? Now that is just a wimpy and wussie guy’s dating tactic. How shall I put it tactfully? It lacks oomph! Men are hormonally and biologically to have a little oomph and pursue the women they are attracted to.
Well, you just wimped out with an online dating “Wink” and left all the heavy lifting of starting a real conversation to her. Oye, would you do that in offline real life, too? You’d have at least approached and offered to buy the lady a drink (alcoholic or non-alcoholic, her choice, no problemo, here). Right. Some effort.
And she’d have gushed a little at the cherishing gesture you just made and at least have uttered, “Oh gosh thank you!” even if she turns you down because she’s here with someone else or whatever. Your gesture would have had some weight to it and it would have been [imagine a little manly chest beating here] WORTHY of her appreciation and admiration.
But a wink?
Oy!
You wimped out, man.
And then you wondered to yourself when absolutely NO ONE replied with a 3 paragraph uniquely admiring email response to you. “Hey, internet dating must not work, at least not for me!” When really it was because, why, you wimped out with a wink.
There’s another thing she might be thinking if you winked. Because with literally millions of singles online at the dating sites now with profiles, not everyone pays for their membership asap. Some singles will post a profile and wait until there is some interest expressed – leaving it to the others… – before they will invest their cold hard cashish in purchasing the dating site’s membership.
So, she might be thinking when you wimped out and winked at her that you are not only lazy, but that you are also… [sad to say, but I must tell you] cheap. Too cheap to pay for the membership and are leaving it to her to do so. And she’s thinking, “If he is this wimpy, lazy, and cheap, then he’s not really interested in ME specifically. He’s a time waster. And April told me when that’s the case just to delete their missive and move on.”
And that’s why none of them ever responded to your wink. Because they thought by now in the 21st century that that was wimpy.
But not a wimp, are you? Nah, I didn’t think so.
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
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Reading Body Language says
May 17, 2011 at 3:13 PMGuys can be clueless.
Dewayne Chriswell says
May 17, 2011 at 4:53 PMNot the best way to make a lady feel special, by treating her just like everyone else, right?
Dewayne’s Digital Photography Corner
Sonya Lenzo says
May 17, 2011 at 5:20 PMI agree. When it started out it might have been “cute” for people who were just too shy to do anything else…but you are right ….now it is just lazy….
Sonya Lenzo
Clare Delaney says
May 17, 2011 at 8:19 PMYou have a wonderful of getting a message across April!
I have to agree, winking is wimpy.
EcoExpert
Eco-Friendly Tips, Articles & Products
Persuasive selling skills multiplied says
May 17, 2011 at 10:08 PMApril, Thanks for sharing a tip on how to flirt online. You have great online dating advice.
Scott Sylvan Bell
Persuasive selling skills multiplied
Now go implement!
John Moulder says
May 18, 2011 at 4:23 AMGood observation . Now when you are in a relationship , it is completely different . My girl and I will sometimes wink at each other across the dinner table . My heart does a backward somersault . Ain’t love grand .
Body Language says
May 18, 2011 at 7:35 AMHaven’t thought about winking in a long time! I wonder if it is culturally less used in 2011?
Kevin Bettencourt says
May 18, 2011 at 11:36 AMDoing things half way never get results.
Eva Palmer says
May 18, 2011 at 3:38 PMI learned the words winking and wimpy!
Yes, not nice to do that if you want a real relationship!
Trisha Chambers says
May 19, 2011 at 7:15 AMAh, the wink….Doh! Wonderful post! So true for singles.
Michael D Walker says
May 19, 2011 at 8:25 PMI don’t know what winking online is but can’t imagine it’s good since I don’t think I’ve seen anyone wink in person in ages.
Michael
Success Rituals For Life
Neil Dhawan says
May 22, 2011 at 3:49 PMWinking is still around? ha ha ha … I remember using the “wink” WAAAAY back when … which usually ended up simply getting a wink back … I do like how you point out what is going on in the woman’s head – what she is truly thinking about the wimpy winker 🙂
BethMore says
December 21, 2013 at 3:54 AMThis proves that winking which was considered not-so-important is also very significant and should be avoided.
Michaela says
June 22, 2014 at 9:53 PMHow can I get guys to stop texting too long? By the time we have a date, there’s nothing left to talk about. Guys text for too long.