What Criteria Really Works Best for Singles to Use to Find a Life-Long Love Relationship?
Perhaps you’ve heard the adage, “Opposites attract” when it comes to explaining what works for singles to find love and for relationship to work for couples. And we’ve all seen some examples, which, to be blunt, we just couldn’t see what the two of them saw in each other. But for them, the romantic relationship worked. Is it really true and the best dating and relationship advice wisdom for singles to seek their best life partner in someone who is their polar opposite? Is that true and accurate, and does that mate-seeking method work best?
Another adage that I have seen a lot of is, funnily enough, the opposite, “Likes attract,” or another way it is often put, “Like attracts like,” or “Birds of a Feather Flock Together.” That is true on the level of our spiritual self, our essence. And it is also true in terms of our hobbies, while usually not absolutely 100% all of our hobbies.
On the level of personal temperaments, “Complementary attracts.” Complementary temperaments often find each other most attractive. They might not initially find someone of a complimentary temperament the most rivetingly attractive. However, complementary temperaments will often a little more slowly gravitate to each other.
In that initial social interaction, a number of the extroverts might gravitate together and enjoy an engaging discussion. In my Direct Sales days, sales people, not all of whom are extroverts, would often form small groups to talk shop at trade shows and networking or social events. When you are talking shop, often that “Like Attracts” Law comes logically into play because you want to discuss “sameness” topic with others with a similar background.
However, when it comes to romantic relationships and eventually sharing each other’s lives together, whether as life partners or a married couple, the “Complementary attracts” Law is important. An extrovert needs an introvert to balance her loquaciousness. And her complementary introvert may seem taciturn initially, once he warms up in her conversation, is like a talking diesel engine. He just needed to warmed up though, first.
Additionally, some of a couple’s interests in the home, it helps when there is a little complementariness as well. Perhaps he loves to cook, and she is just really good about cleaning up at the end of the day and returning the kitchen to order. It’s not that he doesn’t know how to rinse the dishes and put them in the dishwasher. In fact, he did these chores quite well for years as a bachelor and still manages quite well when she travels on her business trips for days. It’s just that that’s how the two of them in their complementary personal characteristics just sort of worked things out in their home.
When you are a single person looking for love, yes, enjoy the banter at the chic new bar in town with the other extroverts. However, do remember to keep in mind and be on the look out for a single mate who complements your temperament and lifestyle. Later you can shower compliments upon each other.
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
Arlene Jenkins says
March 27, 2011 at 1:43 AMThis perspective is highly helpful. So many people recommend that singles just go do all the activities which they like. Thank you for sharing your dating strategy and wisdom with us. It makes sense to me.