Online Dating Advise for Women: Problem Profile Pictures
I love my female friends. When we’re together, yes, take a love of photos. But are those sorority sister pictures really your best pictures to feature in you dating apps online profile? If they’re a problem to post in your internet personals bio, what’s the big deal?
I have both graduated from an all women’s college (no, it was not an all girls school, thank you very much) and been very involved in the wonderful women’s service organization, Junior League Mid Peninsula, over the years. It’s my own equivalent of having been a member of a sorority which is what you might have.
You Have Tons of Smiling and Fun Photos from Girls Night Out
I love our girls night out (#GNO), don’t you? It’s not just the hip and perfectly styled version we saw for the run of Sex And The City. Sure, we make a point to look good. But we’re not setting image, fashion, and style trends for New York women each New York Fashion week come the Fall Season previews and don’t have Patricia Field on speed dial.
We would gaggle about once a month or so, mostly our single gal pals and a few of married lady buds and enjoy an evening of fabulous fizzy water, cocktails and convos creating lasting memories and connections. Part of what is so great about my Girls Night Out crowd that I had perfectly cultivated when I lived in the San Francisco Bay Area mid-peninsula was we were a mix of both single and married or taken women in our late 30s and early 40s.
Naturally, we’d snap lots of photographs of ourselves with all of those digital cameras we all have now. So when you’re pulling together your internet dating profile, you might think to use on of these group photos with your gal pals where you were smiling, having fun, and looking great. I mean, that’s the right kind of image you want to present in your internet personals ads profile, right? Yes it is. But NO! Do NOT include one of those pix.
Why It’s a Problem for Men If You Have Other People in Your Profile Pictures
Avoid group photos of you with your gal pals out enjoying your girls’ night out at the local bar. Why? How can your potential guy date distinguish you from your buddies? What is you all have similar hair styles? Worse still. Ladies, what if those visually stimulated guys view your group photo only to find their rapid response initial attraction most strongly drawn to one of your girlfriends, and not you? That would be just awful, wouldn’t it?
Men’s attraction to women starts out visually. Pretty much, either it’s there at the get go, or it’s not. That’s why if a man tells me he didn’t find a woman attractive, that she didn’t curl his toes (I’m discreet here, mind you.), I don’t push him to keep an open mind. It’s a problem for him to be distracted or confused by photos of others in your dating profile. There are just so many places he can go in his mind of trying to explain your inclusion of other people, any other people, in your personals pictures that that very confusion can block him from ever breaking the ice with you or navigating the messaging minefield to navigate successful to the First Date.
Men Really Are Highly Visually Stimulated by Photos
Creating attraction with Guys is really easy. There is no heavy mystery to fostering attraction with men. It’s also pretty obvious if a guy is attracted to us, or not. Men are very visually stimulated. During Pre-Marital Counseling of Engaged Couples, Church Pastors advise women of this all the time so she can understand this about her groom and also manage her style and personal image accordingly.
It’s pretty simple, ladies. Either he finds us attractive from the get go, or not. So, do post great profile photos of yourself. But ladies, do remember to post only photos of you. Not, you with your gal pals.
All too many of the single guys whom I couch send me women’s profiles displaying their gal pals and the sorority sister act debacle. They ask me rhetorically, “Which one is she?” Even if he can probably tell.
Just, what were you thinking to feature other women directly in your online dating profile? I know. I know. In your mind, it was: “We were having fun! I look like I’m having fun! These are my besties!
Keep Your Resources Devoted to You Online
No, no, no. This is your mental real estate. Now is not the time to endeavor to share the spotlight with your girlfriends and sorority sisters.
If you’re a marriage-minded single woman looking for boyfriend contender caliber men to date which would eventually lead to getting married and a wedding, leave your friends and family photos albums out of your profile. Rather than let your dating profile look like your Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram stream, you want to include just pictures of just you. That way those quality men looking for quality women – a lady – ladies, quality men seek ladies to date and wed – then aim to look like one. “A Lady” need not be boring or stodgy. Just let him connect with you, just you in your internet dating profile.
Don’t make it hard on him. As comedian and TV star Jeff Foxworthy of You Might Be a Redneck and Blue Collar Comedy Tour fame puts it, “Men are simple creators.” Know this and appreciate it about men. Make it easy for a quality man to connect with your dating profile from the wonderful lady you communicate you are in your dating profile photographs. You want him to be interested in you and meeting and dating you. Your photos help to foster that crucial initial physical attraction. Once you’re on that great first date, how you look, behave, and flirt as a lady will get you to more Second Dates!
How are you doing with getting asked out for a Second Date?
Cheers and blessings,
April Braswell
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