When a single man dates a single mom, he can be wondering at this time of year whether or not he should give her a Mother’s Day card. Or certainly by the time that their dating relationship has moved to courtship and they are committed and exclusive and are considering to segue to marriage, when should he give her a Mother’s Day card?
I’ll let you know, it varies. Don’t you just hate reading that?
In general, I would recommend that he phone her and wish her a Happy Mother’s Day if they’ve been dating for a few months. However, just about until you are seriously a couple, ideally more than 6 months, for the particular occasion of Mother’s Day, just give her verbal greetings and salutations to celebrate the day.
The unique challenge of Mother’s Day is that her being a mom and celebrating that is less romance inducing. She loves being a mom. You may even think it is really great that she’s a mom. However, it ever so slightly detracts from her romantic life. Not that it is exactly and either / or situation.
However, the more you focus on her being a mom when the two of you are together during your dating days with her, the less energy you devote to your romantic pursuit of her.
When you’re dating, focus your attentions on courting her as a WOMAN. Her being a mom is, essentially secondary. Treat her as a WOMAN. Romance her. Honoring her on Mother’s Day with a card is not romantic. It is sweet. It is tender. It’s not romancing. At least not right away.
Once you two are truly a couple and are in a relationship heading towards marriage, then you can make Mother’s Day romantic. But early only, just treat it lightly. Don’t ignore it completely. Why? Because she is a single mom. This is a huge part of her life and a major part of her identity.
But Mother’s Day early on is really a day for her children to fête her. It’s not so much your date to fête her.
Just do say something so she doesn’t inadvertently feel like you’re ignoring or neglecting her.
Talk with her in advance. “Oh, how will your children celebrate the day with you? I’d love to see you. However, since it’s Mother’s Day, I don’t want to get in the way of your family celebration.”
What you might end up doing is taking her out to dinner that evening after her kids have celebrated by taking her to brunch or making her breakfast in bed at home.
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
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Michael D Walker says
May 9, 2011 at 12:14 AMExcellent advice to help single men dating single mother’s. It is a bit tricky and requires some thought but acknowledging her special day & saying you dont want to get in the way sounds like the perfect way to handle it.
Michael
Clare Delaney says
May 9, 2011 at 2:45 AMI hadn’t thought about that, and how awkward it could be! Great advice, and you’re right, ‘mum’ can detract from the romance sometimes.
Clare
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John Moulder says
May 9, 2011 at 4:09 AMThat was an unusual article . Something that not many blokes would have thought about . Well done April .
Body Language says
May 9, 2011 at 5:31 AMI think I’ve seen a lot of Mom’s so happy to get a Mothers Day card that the connection is not as defined. Having thought about it, I’d do it!
Reading Body Language says
May 9, 2011 at 11:19 AMYou are definitely the perfect guide for single people.
Kevin Bettencourt says
May 9, 2011 at 12:41 PMSound advice to prevent something awkward for a guy and single woman mommy.
Rachel Robinson says
May 9, 2011 at 1:27 PMGood tips for what could be a potentially tricky situation for singles, April.
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Increase your persuasion abilities says
May 9, 2011 at 9:23 PMApril, excellent dating advice that is easy to follow once again. I always look forward to you dating tips.
Scott Sylvan Bell
Increase your persuasion abilities
Now go implement!
Dewayne Chriswell says
May 9, 2011 at 10:21 PMGreat advice for a hard subject to keep tabs on. Thanks for the emphasis on what part to play in an important holiday.
Dewayne Chriswell
http://dewaynechriswell.com
Reading Body Language says
May 10, 2011 at 8:39 AMYou are truly helping people avoid landmines. April you clearly don’t miss a single detail.
Reggie says
May 10, 2011 at 10:48 AMa guy has to think about these things or else hif girlfriend could get mad at him either way.
Neil Dhawan says
May 10, 2011 at 5:47 PMDidn’t even consider this as something that needed any thought ( proves I’m a guy ) … thank you for shedding light on, what could be, a touchy subject and reminding us where to keep and what to keep the real focus on … the relationship!
Best, Neil
http://geneflora.com/obvious-health-tip-5/
Craig says
May 5, 2016 at 11:18 PMI’ve had a single mother living with me for 5 years and she has one daughter who stays here a little more than half the time. I could not agree more with your advice… a mother’s day card isn’t romantic. It’s basically just a reminder that she has a lifelong connection to another man. Since she cannot have any more children due to complications from the first, we will never have that kind of connection ourselves. That’s why I got her 2 cards this mother’s day, so she has something to read while I’m spending the day at the massage parlor.