Online Dating Expert Tips: Single Wanting LTR, Seeking Financially Unstable Singles Only Please
Internet Personals Ads Dating Expert Wisdom: Desire LTR, Seeking Financially Unstable Singles Only Please
Because I’ve been doing internet dating back since its early Pre-Neanderthal days… You know… Before there were… Digital Photos! (Oh no! You cry out, Not that! Whatever did you do? How were you able to screen out all the eligible and available singles and only go on 2 dates with other singles where 1 of those 2 is whom you married?”)
The answer, dear reader, is, we didn’t. We learned How to Flirt in our messaging, and we went on actual, yes, you’ve heard of this Ancient History Civilization cultural phenomena, Blind Dates. That meant we actually went on more dates, got to practice our gracious social skills, and met a lot more other singles. Which just meant we learned how to date really well.
In those early days, sure, singles would put in all of the obvious stuff in their computer dating profiles:
- Doesn’t drink too much
- Not a drug addict
- Not a pot smoker
- Height and weight proportional
- Financially Stable
It’s been nearly 20 years since the inception of online dating. And I’ve been coaching and working with single clients for years now. And one of the ways I coach both single men and women is in how to write a winning dating profile or simply they hire me to do that for them and coach them about dating.
So invariably the text of their profile and the text of what other singles are posting in their dating site profiles comes up.
And wouldn’t you know it? Even after all these years, it seems that singles are still bothering to put into the text body of their internet matchmaking site profile….
Must be financially stable.
Which leads me to today’s discussion and the topic of a new series on Dating Profile Writing Advice.
Leave out the obvious.
Because really, do you need to say it overtly? Must you put into your singles sites dating profile, that all qualifying prospective dates for you “must be financially stable”?
Sure, both single men and women have self-sabotaging mechanisms, and we can all start to feel attracted to irresponsible singles. But when we are marriage-minded and are looking for a LTR possibly leading to marriage, really? Do we need to say specifically, “must be financially stable?”
Because I would think by now after nearly 20 years of online dating, that we wouldn’t need to cite that anymore. After 20 years of singles signalling what they want and don’t want in a relationship in Dating Profiles, then all of the stuff that everyone says all the time, you simply don’t need to overtly articulate now. Why? Because everyone wants that, too, and we all know it by now.
Of course, maybe the singles who still put it in their profiles are worried that if they don’t cite that, then that means they will be inundated with Prospective Dates who are financially imbalanced and the stable, secure, and resourceful singles will steer clear of them. Why? Because they didn’t specifically in particular invite “only financially stable singles need apply.”
Really people?
Which leads me to a joke told to me by a single executive woman coaching client shared with me.
What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?
Homeless.
Unless you are one of those young women, you’re safe. You don’t need to state the obvious. Simply put, to state it is to overstate it.
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
Internet Dating and Relationship Expert
As seen in Dating for Dummies, 3rd Edition
Lyle R. Johnson: The Sales Wizard & Mentor says
May 11, 2012 at 3:14 PMSo, requesting 3 years of Tax Returns plus a recent P&L may be a bit off-putting?
Lyle R. Johnson
Down Sell for Customer Trust and Loyalty
Lisa McLellan says
May 12, 2012 at 5:25 AMI feel like if I was in the dating scene these days that I would be one of those people writing “must be financially stable.” I know everybody wants that but what about those who are actually not financially stable who are “shopping” the dating sites for a new partner? I would think that they would contact whomever they found attractive and just try to hide their financial woes as long as possible. So how do you keep them away without stating that they need not apply?
Lisa McLellan
Child Care Expert
Nanny Services
Lyle R. Johnson: The Sales Wizard & Mentor says
May 12, 2012 at 5:55 PMYes, April, you’d think they’d learn … I used to have the same thoughts about certain aspects of Management Consulting … it is not that “they” are not learning, it is that new people are entering to arena every day.
Lyle R. Johnson
Memes establish Sales Position
Covert Hypnosis: Where Is The Rest Of The Pool? says
May 13, 2012 at 7:49 AMApril,
very true. I would not mention in dating profile anything about finances. It is something to be found out later in relationship. Finances are not deal breaker in this case.
Lyle R. Johnson: The Sales Wizard & Mentor says
May 13, 2012 at 2:05 PMI would think that mentally stable – not askable but observable – would trump financially stable.
Lyle R. Johnson
Memes Evolution, Increases Sales
Covert Hypnosis Online says
May 14, 2012 at 12:01 AMI had no idea that so much time had gone by since “online dating” first become part of the social makeup.
Liked that about the musician.
Be Well.
Jc
Memorias USB Peru says
May 14, 2012 at 5:36 AMApril, I agree. All those 5 categoris are important as a first filter.
OCtavio
Memorias Flash