Dating Expert Advice: Where to Meet Quality Women in SF

 Dating Tips for Guys: The San Francisco Bay Area Singles Scene

Even if one of you lives in San Francisco and another of you lives in Sacramento, the East Bay, the Peninsula, or Marin County (aka The North Bay), as a single, once you meet your Soul Mate, get engaged, and get married in the SF Bay Area, once married, at least one of you is likely to move.  So really, when it comes to finding a long term relationship and aiming to get married, do keep an open mind about what other county or counties you’re willing to date in.  This is why God gave us BART, CalTrain, and the cross county Bus Lines.  And even the San Franciscans who never drive just may find themselves acquiring a car sometime in the next year just like you need a good cell phone plan if you’re seriously interested in getting married.   You just may find you need a car.

Just as many women find it challenging to find single and available professional men, so many single men relate stories of frustration and weeks wasted at internet dating sites only to meet no real quality single women.

So just as Connie Francis crooned, “Where the Boys Are,” so I give single men in the San Francisco Bay Area a short list of great places to start for meeting quality single women in the Greater Bay Area.

What Defines a Quality Woman?

What is quality?  There are a number of attributes of the layers of class.  A least a few of which include education.  Not every one who went to college does not necessarily prove this is a quality single.  However, many of the social events and social scene of college campuses provided quality social graces training ground.  A number of the social or charitable organizations for women if they were founded before 1960 or even earlier often have a “college education” requirement for their members.  Another layer of class is Social Service, or Community Involvement, caring and working towards the greater good.  Many of the organizations where you will find quality single women have social service projects as a key element and mission to the group.

Junior League

• San Francisco Junior League
• Mid-Peninsula Junior League
• Marin County Junior League
• Sacramento Junior League
• San Francisco Spinsters
• The Little Jim Club

Les Artes:  Audience Development Arts Groups Young Professionals Socials

• Symphonix
• Encore Club
• Bravo! Club

The San Francisco Guardsmen

Yup, it’s a Men’s Charity Organization.  And here you are, a guy.  You’re thinking, “April, I’m looking for straight women.  Quality women.  Why are you suggesting I attend a men’s charity org event?”  Because, trust me, all the quality, college educated women who have at least 3 layers of class all have those orgs on their social radar screen and are attending at least a few of their events each year.

You will find those events attract and draw lots of quality women to them.  So, do plan to attend a few and weave them into your social calendar this year to maximize the investment of your time, energy and money.

Sometimes the small events like the Bachelor Auctions will offer you the most opportunity and exposure to actually casually interact with the maximum number of quality single women.

San Francisco Holiday Party on the Christmas Tree Lot

However, whatever other events you attend and put into your calendar, do plan to attend the San Francisco Guardsmen’s Holiday Party on the Christmas Tree Lot Party in December.  There will be LOADS of people there.  You won’t be able to meet them all.  This is the kind of event that you want to attend as your second or third event in the San Francisco Social Scene for Singles.

I know the Seduction guys call them “Wing Men” or “Wing Women.”  I call them friends.  These are women where you two really connected well, you probably think she is attractive, but for whatever reasons, you two are not dating.  You might have gone on one or two dates and you both realize friendship is your relationship.  There might be an age difference.  There might be a religious difference.  Those characteristics which can preclude a long term relationship leading to marriage can be just perfect for a foundation and variety in friendship.

You will find that the majority of the quality women who attend these events have at least a minimal aspect of the Layer of Class Attribute:  She is something of a Doyenne.

This means, she has social skills.  Real social skills.  She has the social skill ability to be a hostess.  This means she will introduce you to all the other people she is with or knows at the event.  Just because that is gracious.  You know how to break the ice yourself.  And she will make sure you meet at least a handful of new people this evening.  Even if she is attracted to you and interested in you herself. Why? Because she’s gracious at her core.

How to Recognize Her:

She knows how to dress graciously, appropriately, attractively, and alluringly, without being trashy, tacky or vulgar. She might be wearing a Little Black Dress (LBD). She likely donned high heels and is holding a small cocktail bag / evening bag.

Alternatively, more savvy and sophisticates San Francisco single women wear a cocktail dress that features a color which calls attention to and flatters her unique coloring.  Her cocktail dress might feature a little sparkle as well.  After all, it is a holiday party, right?

By the way, if memory serves me, there is a dance area.  So even though you are wearing your snazzy duds, namely you are wearing at least a suit, perhaps a suit and tie, or since this is a cocktail party, at the most you are sporting an evening jacket aka a tuxedo.  No more than that.  This is not a formal wear occasion.  So therefore you are not over dressed, a social faux pas.  You are not wearing… tails.  Tails are reserved for formal occasions.  (Dinner must be served at or after 8:00 pm at night for the event to be deemed a formal occasion. More on that in a future post.  Post your social etiquette questions in your comments here, and I’ll strive to address those over time as well.)

Where the event is hosted, the Fort Mason Pier Buildings, there is minimal parking.  Plan ahead.  You may want to cab it to get there.  Getting a cab going home can be a challenge.

I have brought this up before.  While I do have marvelous stories of men and women who met at one of these events, dated, courted, became engaged, and are now married, what I want you to remember is that you want to approach attending each of these events with a mind set of “I will have a great time and meet some other great people.  Perhaps I will meet that special someone….  You never know when it’s going to be!”  However, I do want you to avoid what we at Smith College started to short hand label as the the Problem of the Sophomoric Sophomores.  What started to happen was the single women without a boyfriend would typically early in the year attend parties with the attitude of “I have to meet THE ONE tonight” in order for their having attended the party to have been worthwhile.  This just about always sets you up for failure.  Plus the whole energy you put out there is borderline carnivorous.  And trust me, ladies, the men feel it.  Guys at certain times of life can be just the same way when they are “Ready to Find Me a Wife!”

You will likely need to attend a number of these events, expand, develop, and foster your social circle by doing so.  Then often it is at those secondary events, like someone you met at the Encore Gala invites you to a fab party at someone’s home, and oh wow, that’s where you meet your special someone.  Keep a little openness to letting love in.  When you are a kind, caring, and loving person, love will find you.

Happy Dating and Relationships,

April Braswell

Dating and Relationship Expert

As seen in Dating for Dummies, 3rd Edition

April Braswell speaks to singles in Singles Groups and Divorce Recovery Groups as well as at Singles Dating Workshops and Singles Conferences.  Hire April to speak at your Singles Event?