Pick me up, baby!  Should men pick up the woman on dates?

April Braswell, leading expert Romance Coach and Online Dating Coach answers the question from her email bag, “Should a man pick me for our date?”

On what date should the guy pick her up, at her apartment, or house?

Smart Professional Woman

Some of my dating coaching client ladies in their forties and fifties ask me, some of the single guys who ask me for first dates out want me to meet them half-way or near them for the First Date.  Should I do that?  What about after we meet?  Should the man pick up the lady for the date?

I tell them, “Pick me up, baby!”

Ok, maybe I don’t say it QUITE like that!

Only on Date 0 do I meet my date out in public, and in a location which is near and convenient for me.  Masculine men want to do this to be protective of us dear ladies, and they seek to be of a masculine service, so they go to me.  Every once in awhile I will get a man who tries to change this last minute and wants me to meet him over near where he lives, even for Date 0.  I just don’t do it.  I give various feminine responses, but essentially I won’t do it.  I go to them for BUSINESS.  This is ROMANCE.  They come to us.  We magnetize them.  And if not, then not.  Not a problem.  Trust me, your privileged access to me, that precious spot in my calendar, you’ve lost it.  I’ll give them one or two more chances, but then I delete them and move the next man who is asking me out into my calendar.  And because I am a beautiful lady and I market myself, I do get asked out all the time.

Ladies, I mean this graciously and not with an obnoxious attitude.  We all the know the dear women who do all of this with a haughty attitude.  I mean be sweet, be warm, be gracious, be nice.  But the man picks me up.  That’s dating.  We are not BUDDIES.

After Date 0, Online Dating First Date, he always picks me up.  When he asks me out again, I just ask, “What time did you want to pick me up?”  I say this SWEETLY, NICELY.  Not like this is a business transaction.  Femmy voice.  They’re MEN.  They understand and get it.  We’re the ones who can be obtuse about this.

Pizza is delivered to you.  Not me.

If they want me to meet them half-way or something, well, then they’re just still boys, and there are women who are treating them like boys, coddling them and making things easy for them.  But I just can’t be bothered.  Masculine men pursue ladies and come pick us up.  It’s part of the EFFORT THEY make as MEN.  We as ladies, well, we make GREAT efforts in terms of our appearance – HAIR, facials, mani/pedis.  This all takes TIME, gentlemen!  Time and money.  Naturally, since they all help me to FEEL fabulous and to look MY BEST, they are infinitely worth it!

For men to STRIVE and MAKE AN EFFORT in LIFE is a GOOD THING for their masculinity.  Refrain from coddling them like their spoiling mothers and you will be doing a SERVICE for all of us to encourage men to be their best and most masculine.

And when he picks me up, well, naturally he comes to the door, there is the chance for the smooch exchange and romantic eye contact and flirtation which is SO fun and essential, n’est pas?  And then he can open the door for me to HIS car.  He’s driving and I’m relaxing in the car.  Whatever his driving style, it is ok with me.  It’s part of the feminine trust and acceptance I offer men in which they delight.  Do you?  Or are you always harping and criticizing his driving?  What are you, his driving instructor?  His mother?  Ladies!