10 years ago when I first wrote this article, the term savvy single women who read TRs The Rules etc. used for a First Date sourced from Online Dating was Date 0. Which I sorta wish we still used. Because there really is a huge difference between a First Date between people who have already met and people actually meeting for the first time. These wonderful thoughts about how women can dress for a First Date really are useful in both First Date scenarios. Just know that, in particular, I’m suggesting this you all you lovely ladies who are meeting your gentlemen from The Net for the very first time.
I used to have this UTTERLY AMAZING Date 0 Dress, First Date Dress.
Date 0 is the first time you meet someone face-to-face (F2F) whom you have “met” online.
On a Date 0 First Date I am looking first off to communicate that I am Beautiful, CLASSY (aka Marriage Material) AND Sexy. Ladies, we want to communicate that we are Marriage Material, not Hoochie Mama Hook Up bound. If that’s what you’re looking for, then please use the websites geared for that and don’t muddy the waters at the mainstream Online Dating sites and apps where single men and women are looking for a long term relationship LTR. It just frustrates the men who really want love.
So, actually my dress was SUBTLY sexy. It was bias cut with a sweetheart neckline.
So the neckline was indicative without showing ALL my assets. When I say “sweetheart neckline,” I’m referring to the cut that was featured often in dresses with sleeve and little cap sleeves from dresses from the 1950s, not the strapless things to which the bridal industry has attached that term currently. If you watch Say Yes to the Dress or Say Yes to the Dress Atlanta, envision those necklines and then add sleeves. The look creates a slight angling in front your fabulous neckline up to your neck, shoulders, and back. The emphasis is clear, framing, but not a plunging neckline. It’s kinda perfect, don’t you think?
Face framing so you see my figure but focus on my face. Indeed, since men are very visually stimulated, for which I am oh-so-grateful, because then I KNOW what to do and can advise my women clients appropriately. So, I DO want to draw attention to my figure, but not keep their attention there the whole evening.
Figure INDICATIVE without actually telling you my bra size.
The bias cut is SO flattering. Think the silk charmeuse confections that Jean Harlow used to wear. Feminine FIGURE curves accentuated. I’m actually not suggesting you were quite those uber sexy frocks, but those dresses were cut on the bias which we don’t see quite so often now as in her era.
Plus,it was NAVY silk (oooo so classy and sensual fabric) with a FLORAL print (made it more girly, feminine) without being cutsy. You want to communicate that you are a woman, not a little girl. Yes, of course, you have your little girl side aspect of you as well, just don’t lead with her on a First Date with men looking for a LTR.
Carried a cute little purse with it, and let me tell you, several men gave me over a dozen roses from that dress and gentlemen opened up to me, wanting to elongate the evening because they felt I understood them and their class background and they could really TALK with me. And indeed, they were right.
I’m a very sexy class act. And that dress was the penultimate communication of that.
Sexy not OBVIOUS. A classy sexy lady.
Really, this is the note you want to take, to communicate and to embody. I have men doing their equivalent of begging to tell more women to behave and dress like that on a First Date. Your behavior really doesn’t need to be gracious as well. Were I just to say “ladylike” you might envision something a bit too prim. It’s not. They just want you to have a few table manners and be able to talk about interesting topics, not your ex, complain about your boss, expect him to pay for your parking and gas money, when all he did was invite you for a very class First Date of Drinks (coffee, cranberry juice, fizzy water, not necessarily Carrie’s beloved Cosmo or a glass of Red). Be gracious. Sparkle a little. Keep it short, around 1 hour in total. Not so brief as to be rude.
Be that in your variation….
How do you love to dress for First Dates?
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
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