Singles Dating Scene: Internet Matchmaking Dating Ideal, Fantasy, Fiction or Fact?
Singles Dating Scene: Internet Personals Ads Dating Ideal, Fantasy, Fiction or Fact?
Is the single you met online really your Soul Mate fact, or an ideal fantasy relationship?
In the early days of internet dating when it was still commonly thought of as computer dating (a term some singles still use), many cyberlove seeking single men and women would search for their Soul Mate online and toss their fishing nets to around the whole word. Some of the singles would say things like, “I’m open to love wherever it comes from.”
While we have all heard romantic stories of married couples having found each other who lived thousands of mile away from each other, even those who lived in different countries. The reality is, this percent of the population who meet and marry like that is a very small percent, about 1% of marriage. Not 77% of the internet matchmaking site sourced marriages.
Also, it seems that more single men have a single dating mental mindset that impedes their ever popping the question, proposing to their girlfriend, getting happily married, and actually starting married life together. A number of single men have this mental obstacle about “The One That Got Away.”
Really, it is “The One Who I Never Met.” They have an expectation that who they would really want to marry is some perfect ideal woman who they just haven’t met yet.
Single women have their own variation on this pipe dream. Single men might approach us at the social networking sites like Facebook or one of the Online Matchmaking Dating Sites like Match, Mingle, or Lavalife. And they live thousands upon thousands of miles away. The connection starts with emailing at the dating sites and could go on for months, even more than a year or two. They start to develop a relationship connection with exclusively online based. Both men and women can develop feelings for each other.
It’s just I hear tale after tale of when the majority of those singles finally meet, if ever that 97% of the relationship was a fantasy in their mind. They really only knew their prospective love mate only a little, and their mind had filled in the rest of the picture with their ideal.
There are so many elements to what we find genuinely attractive in our mate which cannot be communicated and conveyed over the internet. This is why I am also against Skype Web Cam Dating in place of meeting physically face to face (F2F) in person with your Prospective Mate. For the two of you to vet for romantic chemistry, you need contact with each others unique pheromone signature as well to read for congruency in their Body Language, Presence, Self-care Grooming, and Body Flirting Signals.
When what you seek is the fact of a wonderful marriage-minded relationship and not the idealized fiction of fantasy, then do aim to meet each other in person to get reality started.
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
Dating Relationship Expert Los Angeles
As seen in Dating for Dummies, 3rd Edition
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Dr. Wendy Schauer, D.C., R.K.C. says
May 7, 2012 at 5:56 PMIsn’t is true that you can see a picture of someone then paint a picture in your mind that isn’t based in reality. What is the “perfect”
ideal person? The sooner people realize we all have flaws the better.
Yours In Health!
Dr. Wendy
Body language of mirroring says
May 7, 2012 at 11:07 PMApril, do some people get caught up in the idea and fantasy of dating instead of doing the real thing?
Scott Sylvan Bell
Mirroring Body language
Now go implement!
Sonya Lenzo says
May 8, 2012 at 3:47 AMApril, after your excellent advice and ongoing encouragement to single men and women to “just get out there”, I think this is the most important thing that you emphasize.The internet is fine for narrowing down your search, but you have to meet someone face to face to determine, well, all the things you state in your blog(chemistry, attraction, etc).And the sooner the better. I think there can be a tendency for some to hide behind the computer…it feels safer. What do you think?
Sonya Lenzo
Shane Aric says
May 8, 2012 at 8:41 AMGreat reminders, April, for a real relationship. If you love them let them go free, if they do not return they were not meant to be yours, if they do, love them forever”
Body Language: 7 Tips To Spectacular Speaking says
May 8, 2012 at 11:22 AMApril,
i appreciate your talking about the image we create of other person that has nothing to do with him/her. It can happen on line or in real setting – does not matter. We often see what we want to see. Then we get disappointed. But it is not the other’s fault. I believe that we attract the people we are reay to have in our lives.
Suzanne Laramore says
May 8, 2012 at 2:48 PMApril, that is a great point you make about the difference between reality and fantasy when singles are dating online. Thanks.
Annie Born says
May 8, 2012 at 4:09 PMHi April,
Fact or fiction, how can you be sure, the other person is being truthful until you meet?
Looking forward to tomorrow!
Lyle R. Johnson: The Sales Wizard & Mentor says
May 8, 2012 at 4:21 PMI so agree with you, April … Skype, et al … are no substitute for human flesh contact … this concerns me in all areas … taking college courses online, gaming, etc. Where will the socialization process occur … if ever it does?
Lyle
saleslostbecauseofwaiting
Bryan says
May 8, 2012 at 6:02 PMIt seems like a lot of these sites promote the dream don’t they?
Sales Expert
Dan says
May 8, 2012 at 7:12 PMthe grass is always greener and the girls are so much more loving and caring on the other side of the fence! ;>)
Clare Delaney says
May 9, 2012 at 10:34 AMVery valid point April, it’s an all-too-common occurence with internet dating.
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Jc MacKenzie says
May 10, 2012 at 4:51 PMI guess it would be easy online to “fill in the blanks” so to speak and let the fantasy over ride the reality.
Be Well.
Jc