Internet Dating Personas of Men Online: Wussy Guy

Ladies, who do you want to avoid at the internet dating sites?  Who are the online dating time wasters? Super Wussy Guy is one of them. You won’t may not even really quite realize it until it’s been a few weeks of messaging. Or may you think you are dating. And then you realize, he’s Wussy Guy, and not really interested in a LTR Long Term Relationship. It just wants all the benefits to just come to him while he leans back on the couch. He’s the original Couch Potato, with a twist.

Single women tell me in workshops, coaching, and emails asking about what are the red flags and warning signs of unavailable guys online.

Today’s smart single women who’re looking to find a husband or seeking a Soul Mate are wanting to be efficient with their dating.

Sure, they’re willing to go on a number of dates.

But they still want to build their dating and interpersonal skills to recognize red flag warning signs of jerks or guys who just aren’t ready for a relationship.

And guys, don’t worry, I’m including in this series your red flags for women to avoid at the dating sites as well!  This is important for both men and women to be on the look out for and guarding against.

So what are some Wussy Guy red flags for you to be cautious about?

This isn’t just about personal and physical safety and security online tips.  Of course you want to protect yourself while dating – both online and offline practices.  However, just because you’re looking for a husband Soul Mate relationships doesn’t mean you want to be wasting literally weeks upon weeks and months upon months of your time on guys who are time wasters.

If what you want is a long-term relationship and to get married finding your husband and a Soul Mate life partner, then investing your online emailing time with guys who just aren’t there yet won’t get you the getting married results you’re seeking.  It is perfectly good and ok to want to get married and to find a husband.

Which means you want to be looking for and requiring personal attributes in a single guy that indicate he is open, ready, and, at least relatively, available for a long term relationship.

What are some of the Online Dating Profile and Internet Dating Communications Phase characteristics to note and guard yourself against?

He writes only short 1-3 word emails.

It used to be that everyone was at their keyboard and typing full-fledged emails at the online dating site in the web email area.  Not necessarily so anymore.  More and more singles are using their smart phones and quickly checking and responding to dating site messages while they are on break or half-doing something else.  This is a problem.  The ones who are serious about a relationship may check message and even respond briefly like, “That’s a great question.  I’ll get back to you tonight.”  They might write a short note because we all know we can typically see when you were last online and might be expecting a response if you’ve been online.  However, the demonstration of personal interest and ability to engage in small talk sufficient to warrant a First Date require more thought consideration.  So, you might not get an answer until later.  If all of his messages are short 1-3 word emails, he’s a wuss time waster and not worth your time.  He’s leaving all the heavy lifting to you.  Don’t bother.

Geographically Challenging

We used to have a short hand phrase in my family back in college to communicate when a guy was handsome and fantastic but was completely geographically undesirable, “Might as well be Omaha.”  Nothing against Nebraska, but we were in the Tri-State area.  Across the country was simply not going to work to date, court and build a relationship.

So what about the guy who lives more than 1 hour away?  Bear in mind your unique particular region.  If you’re a bit more in the country, then an hour to 90 minutes away might be reasonable.  But what about if you live in a densely populated area.  How much freeway traffic congestion will he be willing to deal with to meet you near you for the first few dates?  How many bridges and toll crossings will there be?  Will he really do those even to meet you for the glass of wine / cup of coffee first date?

Maybe yes.  Maybe no.

Lazy Communicator

He says in his first or second 1 -3 word messages to you that he want to talk to you.  But his communications clearly demonstrate he can’t be bothered to get over this first hurdle of the email exchange to get to earn the right to ask your number.

Never Asks For Your Number But You’re a Mind Reader, Right?

He says he wants to talk.  But then he both never gives you his number or actually – demonstrating the most basic of polite manners – asks for your phone number.  He just keeps leaving things to you to do all the heavy lifting of interpersonal communications skills.

In a young 20 something guy, we’re not looking for marriage qualifying communication skills.  But by the time you’re 28 years old and older?  Come on.  Man up!

I call him… Wussy Guy.

And now you know how he behaves and how to spot his behavior Red Flags.

Tomorrow I’ll tell you what to do with Wussy Guy.

Happy Dating and Relationships,

April Braswell

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Top Ten Internet Dating Safety Tips for Smart Singles Seeking Love Online