Dating Advice: Midlife Dating Success – Dating Again After Divorce or Death of a Spouse
OK, so one of the most common characteristics of single Boomers is we are either dating again after divorce or the death of a spouse. Certainly, as a group there is usually a need to Prepare the Wall with Divorce Recovery Support or Grief Support work in the Grief Recovery® Seminar first before Painting the House in Dating Again.
Once the Surface is Prepared, it is great to start painting your house: Get Out on More Dates.
Indeed, studies show time and again that the majority of married people met their spouse via people they knew in common. Through friends, through common associations, through mutual acquaintances.
So, what is the number one behavior which will then increase your chances of meeting your new love?
MEET MORE NEW PEOPLE
It will depend on the nature of your metro area for how easy it is to do that and what sort of events happen regularly which you can attend.
You want to combine a mix of events which are sort of a group association – like a Salsa or Classical Dance group which meets regularly – with one off events which you attend only periodically.
ASSOCIATIONS and GROUPS
This is your community, your tribe. You want to attend these regularly, just don’t let it be your only resource. These associations and groups – dance groups, singles groups, Bible Study/Church groups – can often become a bit insular. Sometimes new people attend their events. Sometimes only the same people have been attending for months.
Do attend such events, just not exclusively.
SPECIAL OCCASION EVENTS
Often a Special Occasion is observed by a series of public events. They are really sort of one off. St. Patrick’s Day. Gay/Lesbian Pride cocktails parties. Art Gallery openings. Scotch Tastings. Pinot Noir Tastings. Memorial Day BBQs.
I know I promised about 10 days ago to give you a week on the theme of Baby Boomer Dating and then proceeded to talk about Long Term Marriage Relationship Success last week. Why? Because events in my life on Monday just opened that door, so I went through it for the week. That’s the joy of blogging.
Well, THIS is the week I will focus on Baby Boomer Dating. This was the first.
Happy Dating and Relationships!
April Braswell
Marriage Minded Singles Dating Expert and Relationship Coach
As seen in Dating for Dummies, 3rd Edition
April Braswell is the award winning Midlife Dating expert columnist at DatingAdvice.com and speaks to singles in Singles Groups and Church Singles Ministries as well as Divorce Support Groups. Looking to Book April to speak at your Singles Event?
Anthony Lemme says
April 20, 2009 at 12:50 PMAs always, great information. Hope I never need this particular advice however.
Kind Regards,
Anthony
Pat Becker says
April 20, 2009 at 9:21 PMBig event, or series of events, depending on your part of the country coming up soon. Cinco de Mayo! Fantastic for the salsa lovers. Pretty good for the foodies too.
Pat
Amy Sherman says
April 28, 2009 at 9:21 AMGreat advice. It’s always good to clean up old baggage before dating again. As we all know, “stuff” keeps repeating itself, unless you let it go. It’s fair to your new partner to come with a clean slate, so you can be open and receptive to loving and enjoying each other.
Been there; done that!
Amy
Daniella says
December 17, 2010 at 4:00 AMA lot of the single guys over 45 and over 50 are divorced. Sometimes they’re bitter. Sometimes they’re just sarcastic.
Angel says
December 24, 2010 at 8:04 AMIt’s true, April. Most of the women I meet over 50 have already been married at least once.
Sara says
December 28, 2010 at 7:49 PMIt’s difficult to find the single men who are over 50. They’re just not at the bar scene like when we were in our 20s.
Mark says
December 29, 2010 at 8:38 AMDating again now after divorce really does feel different. I’ll have to think about it a bit more; I will return soon.
Nick says
December 29, 2010 at 9:05 AMTook me time to read all the comments here at your dating blog, April, but I certainly enjoyed all of your suggestions. It’s a whole new dating scene since I last dated.
Jeremy McBride says
January 1, 2011 at 9:30 AMDo you think the internet dating is different for us being single, over 40, and divorced? how can I do that better?
Carley says
January 5, 2011 at 1:32 AMYeah dating again now in my late 40s being single and divorced, most of my girlfriends are married with kids. It’s hard to find single men the same way like before I was married.
Kiersten Tabion says
January 9, 2011 at 2:21 AMThese specific dating tips remind me that it’s different dating now and right now there may be great possibilities to meet additional single men but I have to make a special effort to find them. Thanks for the ideas, April.
Marsha says
February 28, 2011 at 10:10 AMMy girlfriend’s widowed mother met her new husband at church. I just don’t see a lot of single men my age there.
Joan says
March 12, 2011 at 12:00 PMIs this why internet dating is a good idea?
Jamie says
March 20, 2011 at 7:38 AMIt is different dating again now years after being married. What do men expect? Should I be asking them out and offering to pay? What happened to chivalry?
Arleen says
March 20, 2011 at 1:59 PMThank you for your compassion and suggestions for dating again after divorce, April, to take it slowly. I was a wreck after my divorce. It takes awhile. Be gentle with yourself.
Eliza says
March 23, 2011 at 9:52 PMYou definitely have a gift with helping singles at online dating, April. The free sites seem to attract singles who aren’t serious.
Giana says
March 30, 2011 at 2:05 PMHi April. I have a hard time meeting single men my own age now that I’m divorced. Where do you suggest for meeting older single men, over 40 years old to over 50 years old for dating purposes? I have to be careful at church so the married women don’t think I’m after their husbands. Because I’m not. I dress attractively. They should make more of an effort to look good for their husbands themselves and they might then feel more confident and not see me as some kind of a threat to their marriages. They don’t need to worry. I’m not after some married man. I don’t want someone who would be unfaithful to his marriage vows.