Dating Advice: Midlife Dating Success – Dating Again After Divorce or Death of a Spouse
OK, so one of the most common characteristics of single Boomers is we are either dating again after divorce or the death of a spouse. Certainly, as a group there is usually a need to Prepare the Wall with Divorce Recovery Support or Grief Support work in the Grief Recovery® Seminar first before Painting the House in Dating Again.
Once the Surface is Prepared, it is great to start painting your house: Get Out on More Dates.
Indeed, studies show time and again that the majority of married people met their spouse via people they knew in common. Through friends, through common associations, through mutual acquaintances.
So, what is the number one behavior which will then increase your chances of meeting your new love?
MEET MORE NEW PEOPLE
It will depend on the nature of your metro area for how easy it is to do that and what sort of events happen regularly which you can attend.
You want to combine a mix of events which are sort of a group association – like a Salsa or Classical Dance group which meets regularly – with one off events which you attend only periodically.
ASSOCIATIONS and GROUPS
This is your community, your tribe. You want to attend these regularly, just don’t let it be your only resource. These associations and groups – dance groups, singles groups, Bible Study/Church groups – can often become a bit insular. Sometimes new people attend their events. Sometimes only the same people have been attending for months.
Do attend such events, just not exclusively.
SPECIAL OCCASION EVENTS
Often a Special Occasion is observed by a series of public events. They are really sort of one off. St. Patrick’s Day. Gay/Lesbian Pride cocktails parties. Art Gallery openings. Scotch Tastings. Pinot Noir Tastings. Memorial Day BBQs.
I know I promised about 10 days ago to give you a week on the theme of Baby Boomer Dating and then proceeded to talk about Long Term Marriage Relationship Success last week. Why? Because events in my life on Monday just opened that door, so I went through it for the week. That’s the joy of blogging.
Well, THIS is the week I will focus on Baby Boomer Dating. This was the first.
Happy Dating and Relationships!
April Braswell
Marriage Minded Singles Dating Expert and Relationship Coach
As seen in Dating for Dummies, 3rd Edition
April Braswell is the award winning Midlife Dating expert columnist at DatingAdvice.com and speaks to singles in Singles Groups and Church Singles Ministries as well as Divorce Support Groups. Looking to Book April to speak at your Singles Event?
Sonya Lenzo says
April 19, 2009 at 3:43 PMso true….most people I have dated recently have been friends of friends.As we get older, I think that is even more true.
SunnyMarie
Rob Northrup says
April 19, 2009 at 4:21 PMGreat advice for people facing this challenge…
Seize the Day,
Rob
Steve Chambers says
April 19, 2009 at 4:26 PMGreat advice about a logical way to meet more people.
Steve,
David Power says
April 19, 2009 at 4:55 PMDivorse is nnever easy and takes advice from someone with your expertice!!!
David
Christian Haller says
April 19, 2009 at 5:25 PMA difficult challenge for anyone. This is good advice for people in this situation.
Christian Haller
Darryl Pace says
April 19, 2009 at 6:43 PMApril,
Great advice. Your painting analogy is a good one. The information you’ve provided is encouraging and instructional for those overcoming the challenges associated with the loss of a spouse.
Darryl Pace
Lisa McLellan says
April 19, 2009 at 8:03 PMBoomer dating – is this a new term, I’ve never heard it. It does sound like people in these situations could really use some professional help getting back into the dating scene.
Don Shepherd says
April 19, 2009 at 7:07 PMIt might sound funny but i meet more single women when i’m grocery shopping than any other place.
Don Shepherd
mark mallen says
April 19, 2009 at 7:58 PMApril, I need advice on dating while working a regular job and spending 5 hours a day on Kevin’s course. By the way, you have good taste in ice cream. Mark
mark mallen says
April 19, 2009 at 8:00 PMApril, I need advice on dating while working a regular job and spending % hours a day on Kevin’s course. By the way, you have good taste in ice cream. Mark
mark mallen says
April 19, 2009 at 8:29 PMApril, Any advice for dating while working a regular job and taking Kevin’s course? By the way, you have great taste in ice cream. Mark
Duane Cunningham says
April 19, 2009 at 9:23 PMHi April,
Great advice again on how to meet people! I must share that on 60 minutes here in Australia there was a segment last night on ‘Cougar’ dating that was the new wave in the US? Maybe you would like to share with us about this??
Duane
Bob Kaufer says
April 20, 2009 at 3:21 AMApril,
This is really great advice I hope I never need.
Thanks
Bob Kaufer
Philip Graves says
April 20, 2009 at 4:42 AMI think your point “… not exclusively” is crucial. It’s easy to think you’re getting out there when you join a club or group; within the first few weeks you’ve met 90% of the people you ever will there, and if none of them interest you romantically you’ll find an interest in whatever the group does taking over your time when you could be engaged in dating-focused activity elsewhere.
Your posts always illustrate the benefit of having an expert thinking about one area; you aren’t an online dating expert for nothing!
Philip
Consumer Behaviour Expert
JJ Jalopy says
April 20, 2009 at 5:32 AMI think the best place to meet other singles is Borders, the book shop!
It’s an unintimidating environment, there’s every topic in the world in there to start talking about, and there’s a Starbucks to go to for a “date” straight away!
JJ Jalopy.
Lynn Lane says
April 20, 2009 at 6:51 AMApril,
When people meet this challenge in life, the will need a boost.
You will fill a great need.
BTW, you can send your report for my package by this weekend.
Thanks
Lynn Lane
John Ho says
April 20, 2009 at 7:17 AMHow to have more dates? Meet new people continuously.
How to break bad habits? Stop doing them!
Simple, Direct and Workable too!
You never run out of good ideas, Dating & Relationship Expert April!
John Ho
Jennifer Battaglino says
April 20, 2009 at 8:25 AMI like that you talk about different avenues and not putting all your eggs in one basket. It would be interesting, even though I am not dating anymore, to see how much truth there is in where you go to meet someone who “fits” your profile.
I am always curious when some one who has been burned decides to join a church group because they want to meet a “nice” guy. There a plenty of mean people who also go to church… 🙂
Just thinking out loud today,
Jen
Mitchell Rehaume says
April 20, 2009 at 9:47 AMApril,
Great post once again. I would like to introduce you to a friend here in Canada that works with older couples in dance studios for creating a safe meeting place for couples.
I think with your great posts and his clientle it could be a great opportunity for you both.
Mitch
Yann Vernier says
April 20, 2009 at 12:34 PMLots of great ideas and very sound advice (as usual) for those who return to the dating game.
All the best,
Yann