Dating Expert Advice for Women to Meet More Single Men Monday Morning

April 11, 2010 / April Braswell / 35 Comments

Thanks for stopping by my dating advice and tips blog.  Sometimes I blog specifically for singles and sometimes I wrap in some relationship success advice which is relevant for both married folks and singles.  Today’s dating tip is targeted for singles.  However, an attribute of happily married couples enjoying a lifetime of love is to inject elements of “newness” into their relationship periodically over time.  Part of that newness is to include meeting new people and weaving them into your lives.

Successful Singles Dating Is a Numbers Game

Not on a crass level of just churning through meeting people, but rather reframing your mind, teaching and programing your mind to see all the wonderful people who surround you each day, it is a numbers game to meet and date other singles, court, and get married.

That being said, take a piece of paper and write down Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday as the left hand column down the page.  Now, next to each day, write a number.  Write the number of people you encountered and spoke to.  All it had to be was a smile and “Hello, nice day.” or “Hello, beautiful weather,” even while you were passing them walking at the park.  How many people did you meet?  Write that in your comment here at my blog.  Give me the total number of people you met last week.

Successful Singles Implement, Meet New People and Go on Great Dates

You want to aim for a minimum of 5 people a day which totals to 35 people in a week.  No, it doesn’t always have to be members of the opposite sex, although that would be cool.  My clients ramp up to meeting 50 people of the opposite gender each week minimum.  There’s a reason they couple up, become engaged and marry.  Having a coach in dating like having a coach in athletics makes a difference for the implementation, direction, and results.

Start thinking about what you can do where you like to meet more new people each day.

In my direct sales days in the software empire of technology center, Silicon Valley, an attribute of the most successful top-selling sales people was we created and plotted out our selling plan for the week in advance of the week.  It is Sunday.  Don’t worry that I’m going to suggest you race out tonight and try to throw yourself into a tizzy of undirected non-strategic meeting people activity.  Relax.  Sip a cup of tea, kick back and make a plan for just Monday to start your creative engines going.

What can you do Monday morning to meet 5 new people?  You can do your numbers before you even get to the office.  If you normally are a good frugal steward of your dollars or euros and brew your own coffee at home, instead on Monday mornings you now going forward purchase just a small cup of coffee at a coffee shop.  Each Monday, go to a different coffee shop.  Vary it.  Both vary the location and vary the chain.  Yes, Peets coffee drinkers here in the States have a strong opinion and preference for Peets over Starbucks.  So you will definitely meet a different coffee “Tribe” as J-P Micek and Deb Micek, authors of Online Persuasion describe the communities we identify ourselves with.  You want to be sure to stretch yourself a bit.  You don’t have to go do bizarre activities you loathe.  I’m not suggesting that.  I am however suggesting you stretch yourself to do activities which are 5-15 degree stretch from what you normally do now and to do so in slightly different places and venues than you normally do now.  And to do so at slightly different times than you do presently.

If precisely what you are doing now were working, you wouldn’t still be single, right?  So, stretch yourself.  You will also receive the wonderful benefit of the life habit of stretching yourself.  This stimulates your brain and your body for life.

At the Door

Back to your coffee.  When you enter the door, hold it for someone else or someone holds it for you.  Of course you utter while smiling and making eye contact, “You’re welcome,” or, “Thank you.” Check.  That was your first person.  By the way, the smile and eye contact is essential.  Eye contact makes for contact and connection without actually touching the person.  Our modern 21st century lives are so bereft of real human contact while we bustle about busily that you stand out in people’s minds when you actually pause even for a few moments to genuinely connect with them by making eye contact with them.  Hold their eyes for a moment.  Now go on in.

While On Line

I’m hoping there is a line.  Chat up the person in front of you and behind you.  Something as simple as, “I don’t normally come here.  Is this chain good?  How do you like them?” 2 people, maybe 3.  Check.

At the Counter

When you order, be gracious, say hello, “How are you today?  Beautiful weather we’re having,” to your wait person.  You are the Queen of England or the Dali Lama – gracious to all and acknowledging them.  Check.  That’s another.

At the Condiment Counter

Over at the condiment counter.  “Oh, would you please pass me the half and half?  Thank you.” Smile.  Eye contact.  Check.  Another person.  Stir stir.  Take your time.  Don’t rush.  Another person, male, female, it doesn’t matter for now, walks up.  “Would you please pass me a napkin?  Thank you.” Warm smile with eye contact.  Check.

That was actually 6 – 7 people if you were at a busy coffee shop.  So you see, in 15 minutes at the right location, armed with the right attitude and mind set of wanting to see and meet other wonderful new people each day, you can easily meet at least 5 new people before arriving at work.

Happy Dating and Relationships,

April Braswell

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April Braswell

April Braswell is internationally recognized as America's Midlife Dating and Relationship Mentor and the award winning expert columnist at DatingAdvice.com. Bringing over 40 years of Sales and Marketing expertise, April is a the trusted Small Business Consultant and Coach to Leading Executives and Emerging Leaders. Author of best seller, Get Swipe Right. April coaches marriage-minded men and women to find and attract love, your best life partner. Life Love Love relationship. Love after 40 and 50. Photos appear by licenses with iStock. All rights reserved.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. So you pretty much make it impossible for some one NOT to meet anyone! 🙂
    Great tips that makes sense and are “doable”. If I were single I think I could actually find a date!
    Jen Battaglino

  2. Great tip as usual April. What get’s measured will improve. Whether your trying to make more sales calls, or meeting new people; start by measuring.

    Tim Van Milligan

  3. Thanks for the kick in the butt. My number for last week is probably close to zero. It will be a major change for me to try to talk to the people around me, and even more so to actually go to places where there are people to talk to. But lately I have been feeling a bit more motivated in this area, so this is a good challenge for me.
    Do you have any suggestions for conversing with people beyond the first few minutes? I can handle the intial questions about jobs, hobbies, etc. But I am terrible after that point – so for example, on a date, I would run out of things to say about 15 minutes in. Makes for a short date. =-)
    Michelle

  4. When I was in high school I was fairly popular but I was shy when it came to girls. I mean, I could talk to them, make them laugh and have a great time with them but ask one out on a date? 99.9 % of the girls were definitely out of my league. When I went to university I found out that a lot of pretty girls weren’t being asked out. I found out that most of the guys felt intimidated by them. It dawned on me like a ton of bricks. We’re all relatively the same. The difference is that some guys “think” they can ask out anyone they want while others “think” they can’t. I decided that I was going to be the guy that “thought” he could. After that everyone thought I was that cool confident guy. Little did they, know I was just like them.

    P.S. I was always the guy who asked several wall flowers to dance too. Why? I’ll tell you. I’ll never forget my first high school stomp (no I wasn’t alive in the 50’s) when I was standing there with my crowd of nervous freshmen buddies trying look cool while our palms were so cold a sweaty that people would have thought we’d been out throwing snowballs if it hadn’t been so warm out, when suddenly out of the nerve racking blue, the most gorgeous girl with a lovely long blond pony tail asked me to dance. I just prayed that I only felt like my friends looked at that moment because we all almost fell over dead. What a boost of confidence, I moved up a couple of notches from believing I had leprosy to realizing that apparently I was keeping it covered well. Ah Jodi, I would have asked you out in high school if I had only known then that my fear of suddenly bursting into flames was mostly unfounded.

    Shane Kester
    Hypnosis Can Change Your Life

  6. April, What I truly LOVE about your advice is that it is so PRACTICAL. and yet it works. People can say, Oh that is so doable. They can actually see themselves doing it. Great post.
    Sonya Lenzo

  7. These are great tips for everyone, not just for romantic relationships but for people who just want to be friends. It is important to remember that relationships take energy and we only have so much so…while it’s important to meet as many people as possible it is just as important to qualify and eliminate those that require too much energy.

    Wow, that was one long sentence.

    Steve Chambers
    Body Language Expert

  8. Eye contact, eye contact, and more eye contact! Very, very good post my dear!

  9. These are all great, SIMPLE, tips. I keep telling my girlfriend that she is never going to meet men to date if all she ever does is go to gay bars (while a lot of fun and full of great people, most are not into the female gender) with her friend.

    I am emailing her a link to this ASAP!

    Sabrina Peterson, NASM CPT,CES
    Fat Burning Home Workouts

  10. This is good because when I am out searching for someone to date (not if I want to give up 36 years) or just to get to know people that I will be able to network with these are some great ideas and ways to do it

  12. Great suggestion! Coffee bars do have a lot of people…. And you are right, just a smile and a kind word can make someone’s day. And if the person uses public transport, he/she can always say hi to the driver. The elevator/lift provides another wonderful opportunity to greet lots of folks, don’t you think so?

    Eileen O’Neill

  17. “Our modern 21st century lives are so bereft of real human contact while we bustle about busily that you stand out in people’s minds when you actually pause even for a few moments to genuinely connect with them by making eye contact with them.”

    This could not be more true! Good advice for dating and meeting people but it’s great advice for everyday also. Could make the world a much nicer place!

    Peggy Larson

  18. Whoa, 6-7 people in 15 minutes in one coffee shop!!!! There just isn’t any excuse not to meet people is there? It really is a numbers game, isn’t it? My husband recently told me about a news story that he read which said that they still prefer male babies in China so they are aborting female fetuses. The article said by 2020 there will be approximately 30 million more males than females of marriageable age. Talk about a numbers game! Get ready April – you might be able to cash in by helping those 30 million guys find dates!!!

    Lisa McLellan
    Babysitting Services, Nanny Services, and Nanny agencies

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