Continuing on the them of the official kickoff to Summer Romance season with Memorial Day weekend, I want to address the dating needs of young singles.
The art of dating and how you approach each other, your opening remarks, body language signals, conversations, and very dating behavior is very different than that of older singles, I’ll just arbitrarily pick 30 years old as a demarcation age. Although for some it’ll be 22 years old, 25 years old, or 29 years old. I’m making a point here, not giving you an age rule that is hard and fast.
I’m bothering to say this because some people have read my articles and taken a quote about age out of context and run with it in their article. It’s all fine. But don’t get caught up in the detail of “At what exact age does this change….” because it’s not like that.
Back to my point here of the dating mores of young singles.
The biggest determining factor that distinguishes young singles dating is What They Are Looking For.
What young singles are looking for predominately is a how to get a boyfriend or how to get a girlfriend. And that is it. They are not looking for getting a boyfriend fast because they seek to develop that boyfriend relationship into a long term life partner lasting love relationship possibly resulting in marriage. They want a boyfriend. Or they want a girlfriend.
Some romances which start in high school or college do eventually result in marriage.
Certainly even only just 25 years ago, there was an expectation that single women in college were husband hunting in college. For the generation of women who came after that, we would joke, “What’re you in college to get?” “I’m studying to get my Mrs!” because to our generation, we were in college to study and to date, but not to find a husband and get married. Not just yet, thank you.
Not that it is necessarily a short term relationship. Often in wanting to find a boyfriend or girlfriend they do have the intention or expectation that that relationship will last let’s say at least 3 months, maybe even a year or two or three.
So when the very point of your relationship is just to be a boyfriend or girlfriend, you behavior, your approach, and your dating manners will often be very different than when you are seriously seeking a life partner relationship.
When all that you want is a casual boyfriend or girlfriend relationship and not aiming for marriage, then your approach and behavior can be and will be much more casual. Your whole demeanor about romance behaviors will be casual.
This is both good and bad.
It’s good because like I recommend to older singles dating after 35, after 40, and after 50, you are very free just to enjoy each other and learn new things. It actually takes the pressure of life long and extended family expectations off of you. You are free to go on lots of initial dates with singles from other areas than you are, different ethnic groups, different religions, who speak different languages than you do, have different interests and hobbies than you, whose majors are different than yours is.
You meet each other in school or college, or on the beaches of resort towns and cities. When you’re a young single guy, when should you first approach a girl for your best chances of success with her?
This Memorial holiday weekend, so many singles are enjoying road trips, like to Las Vegas, and other resort cities. By all means, go and enjoy them! Memorial Day weekend when you’re under 30 years old or so can really be like an extension of Spring Break. Do play and have fun, just remember to keep a little bit of self-control in place. Don’t let “Hangover II” be TOO much of an inspiration!
Next I’ll talk about how this freeing up of young singles dating specifically affects how guys approach girls. What works. What fails miserably with young single women and what makes the difference in your success with women or utter shot down rejection. Check back tomorrow for the next installment on Summer Romance.
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
Kevin Bettencourt says
May 29, 2011 at 3:34 PMBeing casual when you are younger is important. I’ve seen young people so caught up in a relationship they forget they are young.
Eva Palmer says
May 30, 2011 at 2:42 PMI agree with Kevin!
Some kids start a relationship at a very young age and after a while they are just overwhelmed but think they have to marry that person…
Dewayne Chriswell says
May 30, 2011 at 7:20 PMIt’s always a good idea to figure out exactly what you’re looking for, not a good idea to settle without goals or expectations. Thanks for the reminder that every relationshiop doesn’t have to be “the one”.
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