Lady, You’re not guilty of any of these massive mistakes women make in your dating profile, are you?
As a professional online dating profile writer and coach, I see a ton of the dating apps personals bios which single ladies currently use and then read usually at least 1 or 2 of these massive mistakes women make in online dating profiles. And then they wonder why they’re attracting all the wrong guys for them or, all-too-often, just getting a “Swipe on By” rather than the Get Swipe Right they deserve and more men’s attention and interest.
Massive Mistakes Women Make Online #1: Negative Messaging
All the online dating sites encourage singles to ponder their relationship essential needs as well as their verboten attributes list. What’s on yours?
Sure, we all have a list of attributes we don’t want a guy we’d date to have, right? Any of these sound familiar or ring true for your and what you’re girlfriends are saying to avoid?
Massive Mistakes Women Make: Putting What You DON’T Want Right in the Text of Your Profile
I’m not kidding. Women write these statements in their profile, and then wonder why those are exactly who approaches them online. I’ll let you in on a hint. The unconscious mind doesn’t compute the NOT. And you neglected then to cite positively what you’re looking for, so those dear gents don’t see themselves at all in your profile from your words.
- “I don’t want to date an old farts.”
- “I don’t want to date any divorced dads.”
- “Don’t approach me if you don’t love animals.”
- “Don’t hit me up if you’re over 40.”
- “Don’t ask me out if you’re under 50.”
But don’t let that be the focus of your dating profile. Nothing turns the right guys off more than to hear women complain and kvetch. Who wants to spend an evening with a woman who’s a complainer all night? There’s no pleasing her. So, when you cite those couplah things you really don’t want in men for dating, you’re turning off the good guys. And the bozos who you wish wouldn’t approach, well, they just ignore all of that anyway.
Massive Mistakes Women Make in Internet Dating Profiles #2: Sorority Sister Syndrome
Nothing could be more natural than to have your buds and BBF snap candid photos of you on their smart phone when you’re out for together altogether with your gaggle of gal pals Friday night Happy Hour after work, right? The work week is over. It’s time to kick back, just like in college with all your Sorority Sisters. Everybody’s working for the weekend! You’ve got your arms all around each other, smiling and laughing. You all are having so much fun and that just comes across great in the digital photograph. So you and your girlfriends all think this is an excellent photo of you to include and feature in your internet dating profile.
Massive Mistakes Women Make Including Other Women in Your Profile Photos: Why This Is a Problem
No, no, no! You don’t want to run the risk that the woman he’s most attracted to in the pix is not you! Admit it. A lot of us closely resemble our girlfriends and circle of friends. Are you the only long haired blonde in your group of best buds? Are you the only long haired brunette in that photo?
When you’re pitching yourself online as potentially great girlfriend material, you don’t want to risk distracting a man’s attention away from you and onto another woman. Refrain from including any photographs of you with anyone else. Instead, just keep the focus on yourself, and draw him into your web of intriguing attraction!
Massive Mistake by the Ladies Online #3: Who You Want Doesn’t Exist
Is your description of the man of your dreams all about who he is on paper? Guys tell me they read women’s dating profiles at the dating sites and think women must be dreaming. They’ve made a cyberspace Prince Charming for a man who doesn’t exist. When your profile reflects you’re seeking only this fantasy Digital Dating Prince, that turns guys off. Your profile then certainly tells them the clear repelling warp shield message that you’d never be interested in them, real flesh and blood men, complete with imperfections like all of us. So you run the risk of being ignored by loads of financially stable and interesting men online. And wasn’t getting noticed by them and being asked out on some dates by them precisely the reason you went ahead and posted your dating profile to begin with anyway?
Instead, focus a bit on what some of your shared interests could be and a character attribute. Then the great guys can see that you’re keeping it real and not stretching the truth too far. That leads to more of them engaging with you online and asking you out for a first date. And isn’t that the goal of internet dating?
Massive Mistake Women Make in Profile Pictures #4: Not Smiling Your Best NATURAL Smile in Your Photos
Maybe the selfie you took yourself isn’t your best choice for putting your best foot forward online. Perhaps you want to work with a professional photographer? You’ve started collecting photos of you that friends took, but then you got all self-conscious when posing for the pix by them or with your tablet device. If you flashed them your mysterious “Mona Lisa” smile that didn’t thin out your upper lip, dazzle your teeth, and engage the muscles of your facial cheeks, then your smile wasn’t a full bore natural smile. Guys can feel it. They just get it in their gut that something’s wrong. “She’s holding back. I’ll just look at the next girl’s profile.” And you’ve lost out on your opportunity to meet more great guys online.
No duck lips, either. Look great and look like you, not like you’re overly posing and mugging it up for the camera.
Massive Mistake Ladies Make in Online Dating #5: Over-qualifying Guys Before the First Date
Of course, none of us wants to waste all our precious time on dire first dates with dreadful guys.
But then again, sometimes the packaging of Mr. Right for You isn’t exactly what you were envisioning, was it? Maybe, it turns out, he’s a business owner, not an MBA. Stop spending so much of your online dating sites time messaging with the guys who are interested in you before you actually accept their invitation to take you out on a first date.
Sort of a Part II of this Mistake #5 is, keep the First Date to just Drinks and Apps and not a full fledged dinner taking up your whole evening. And you did keep it to a week night, right?
Keep an open mind about what he can be like, and go on more first dates to consider Cupid Contenders. Even if he doesn’t work out, maybe he has a friend, right? Yah nevah know!
If you’ve been doing online dating now for awhile, but you’re disappointed in the results you getting, or perhaps you are newly back in the modern dating world after the death of your husband or after your divorce came through, you might want to get some extra help and support with me as you Dating Coach for Women and professional internet dating profile writer. Click here to hire Coach April’s professional profile writing and coaching service. CLICK HERE.
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
Internet Dating and Relationship Expert
As seen in Dating for Dummies, 3rd Edition
April Braswell is an expert columnist at DatingAdvice.com and speaks to singles in Singles Groups and Divorce Support Groups as well as at Singles Dating Workshops and Singles Conferences. Looking to Hire April to speak at your Singles Event?
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Professional Online Dating Profile Writing and Review Service
Have you tried online dating yet? But it’s not really working for you like the glamorous images you see depicted in the tv ads? Want help to be successful and safe with internet dating? Are you ready to get online and look for love using the exciting internet dating sites?
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Lisa says
April 9, 2014 at 9:26 AMThat was a good read.
For me it was point number 3.
I was always looking for the perfect man that I had described to myself and convinced myself that he must exist somewhere.
The prince on his white horse comes in all shapes and sizes – finding our perfect partner is so much easier once we are honest with ourselves about the man we are looking for.
Luciana says
June 12, 2014 at 1:16 PMThanks to get spreading this point about how to talk to men. Why is online dating so hard now?
Lily Kate Myers says
November 14, 2017 at 7:35 AMUseful tips! Not to mention not taking too many selfies but instead take photos with a group. Great read, keep sharing 🙂