Internet Dating Expert Advice: If You Look Young, Is It OK for You to Lie About Your Age in Your Online Dating Profile to Get More Attention from Prospects?
Los Angeles Area Singles Seem to Be Habitually Lying About Their Age in Their Dating Profile, Is This OK to Do, too?
Online Dating Profile Advice – How to Manage Your Age in Your Profile When You Look Great for Your Age:
Singles email me and ask me also in person at my Singles Dating Classes in Los Angeles, “Is it ok to lie about your age in your internet dating profile?” Quite often, the singles who ask this are typically over 40 and 50 years old and some in their early 60s, are in great shape, and look young for their age. Their challenge is they don’t want potential dating partners who are searching by the age range search criteria to pass them by. If people were to meet them in face-to-face life, they would take them for younger then they are and date well. They are looking for the same thing at the online dating sites.
Computer Dating Profile Advice – It’s Not Fair To Have To Cite Your Age Online When You Look Great In Person
If you don’t cite your true age in you web dating profile or singles app bio, then the problem with this question is that you are lying online. Now, yes, it’s not fair. Yes, I agree. It’s not fair. You look simply fabulous for your age. You look years younger than your peers. It’s not fair that if your prospective dates meet you first in person they would think you are probably mid-30s. You simply are benefiting from your youthful good looks. In person, by looking young and vital, you are leveraging your attractiveness and charisma. You’re not lying by looking good in person.
Online Dating Profile Advice – The Problem When You Lie About Your Age in Your Internet Dating Profile
However, it’s a problem to online. Why? Because to lie about your age in your internet dating profile is a whole other thing. You are overtly lying. With my professional sales and marketing background, I am all about positioning the truth as favorably as possible. Being single women, we understand using all the tools of beauty, fitness, health, hair, and make-up to look our best. However, that is looking our best. We are not lying when we wear lipstick. We are not lying when we color enhance our hair with a color treatment. We are not lying when we were marvelous lingerie that displays our feminine figures to their best advantage.
What is your goal in going online? Why are you posting at the internet personals ads? When you answer that question with, “April, I want to get married. I want a loving life partner relationship with someone I can really share my life with.” Then when you lie about your age in your online dating profile, should your relationship go past the first few dates and actually develop into that life partner relationship you want, at some point you will have to TELL THEM, “I lied to you.”
Who likes to hear, “I lied to you”?
Raise your hand.
Yeah, not many takers.
There are little white lies. There are lies of omission. There are lies of where we really thought one thing and another person has a different perspective.
Lying about your age in your online dating profile, however, is overt lying. Overt lying means that you specifically, consciously, and intentionally lied to another person.
When you specifically and intentionally lie to another person at the start, that is the foundation for your romantic relationship. When your relationship progresses and you start to share more of yourself and your life with them, you will at some point need to tell them the truth. When you do tell them the truth, the problem is, in the back of their mind, they will start to wonder, “What else are they lying to me about?” Even if you and they even think that age is such a small factor, and it is really not an important detail. And it is not that important a detail. However, your character attribute of “Being Truthful” just became, “Overtly Lies.” Your relationship will suffer. You will have sabotaged the development of your mutual trust. Your partner will be wondering and wondering. The question, “Where else are they lying to me?” will simply always be niggling in the back of their brain and bother them.
When it comes to online dating it is simply better to practice the character attribute of “Being Truthful.” Then all the dates you meet from internet dating have a good foundation and you can see if they develop into a lasting love relationship. To do otherwise sabotages them from the get go.
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
Midlife Online Dating and Relationship Expert
As seen in Dating for Dummies, 3rd Edition
alam ghafoor says
May 10, 2010 at 1:45 PMApril as always your advice is bang on the button….don’t start off by lieing about your age…get the foundation right and the relationship will blossom .
Steve Chambers says
May 10, 2010 at 2:26 PMI find it’s best to tell the truth in all things, but in my experience most people lie about their age, especially women.
Steve Chambers
Rob Northrup says
May 10, 2010 at 4:39 PMIf you are trying to form a lasting relationship, then you need to be truthful.
If you are looking for something a little more casual, then give an accurate photo and an age range like Over 30…
Seize the Day,
Rob
Lisa McLellan says
May 10, 2010 at 4:57 PMI can see how one would want to lie about his or her age online. When people look good for their age and take care of themselves, I think it’s pretty safe to assume that they would like someone who either also looks very good for their age or someone who simply is younger.
Maybe online sites should suggest that people widen their age range for a potential partner. Then the people who have taken care of themselves aren’t punished by not being able to get a date with somone they feel is their equal.
Okay, truth is, I have a friend in this situation and she has told me first hand that this is how she feels!
Lisa McLellan
Tim Van Milligan says
May 11, 2010 at 6:59 AMI agree with you April. Telling a little white lie in the dating profile will eventually mean that the other person is not going to trust you. You may get more dates at the beginning, but you’ll be wasting your time in the long run. Niche market right from the beginning.
Tim Van Milligan
Trisha Chambers says
May 11, 2010 at 7:16 AMWhy do people do this? I say, ‘never lie about your age’ if you’re trying to find a relationship.
Dale Bell says
May 11, 2010 at 10:04 AMI would be one of those asking myself what else are they lying to me. In a relationship trust is to me one of the most important ones.
Dale
Shane says
May 11, 2010 at 10:30 AMLying is absolutely not a good way to start off a relationship… at all!
Shane
Peggy Larson says
May 11, 2010 at 10:45 AMAgreed. I know I’ d always wonder “what else isn’t true?”
Couldn’t a person just post a range or say mid-, early-, or late- somethings?
Peggy Larson
Dennis Miedema says
May 11, 2010 at 12:15 PMApril. I totally agree.
@ Lisa: you´re right!
To More Dating Success,
Dennis Miedema
elder dating says
May 12, 2010 at 1:45 AMTelling lie……………NO!! NO!! never begin any relationship with a lie, if you are really serious about it. It’s better to date some one of your age so you need not lie about your age. Do not run after teenagers, most of them do not want to date someone as old as the their parents and even they do, be sure they have other intentions.
Michelle Mason says
May 13, 2010 at 10:09 AMWhile I understand that people may feel or look younger, I think that people also often forget that you are at a different life stage than those you identify with. For example, I enjoy hanging out with people almost 10 years younger than me, and let myself forget my actual age. But it becomes painfully clear at times that we are not at the same place in life, as much as I would like to pretend otherwise.
I know when I look online at people, I tend to limit the ages, and may be missing out on someone wonderful. But if someone is that much older/younger than me, I feel like there would be a disconnect on some things.
Michelle
Hezron says
May 15, 2010 at 10:59 AMI think misrepresenting oneself in a dating situation is a huge no-no. If I found out a woman lied about her age, I would start to question other things she has told me.
Your first paragraph makes no sense to me. The way I see it, if I am in great shape, look good, why would I lie about my age? From my viewpoint, the ones that lie about their age are in some cases; unattractive, poor attitude, selfish and typically have nothing to offer a fine man like me. I suggest some revision of your first paragraph.
michael c says
May 18, 2010 at 6:30 PMThis is funny.
I met a girl online and I changed my age a long time ago on match but forgot about it.
It wasn’t until the 3rd date that she asked “What’s it like being 35?”
I came clean but blew it since I forgot.
My friend told me what I should have said “35? I am 57!!1 Everyone lies on the interent!! ha ha” It was more in humor than anything but I think you’ll disagree with it.
I think women lie equally as much by using old pictures, understating their weight, and overstating their body type.
Michael
Michael D Walker says
May 20, 2010 at 10:11 PMI find it astounding that people lie about their age & then can’t figure out why they have so many problems in relationships.
The only time I really lie outright is about how many times I’ve been to jail. Have never been in jail but always say I have. Makes everyone much more prompt about repaying any money I loan them. 🙂
Michael
Val says
May 30, 2010 at 1:04 AMTell the truth, that’s my motto for dating.
Terry says
May 30, 2010 at 4:32 AMHi April. Yeah, I agree. Lying about your age and then telling me later. yuk. Who wants that in a guy even if he’s cute?
Kerry says
May 31, 2010 at 2:38 AMHi April, you are so right. Being good looking is one thing. Lying in your internet dating profile doesn’t make me comfortable. I’d worry he was always lying to me then.
Donna Lee says
June 1, 2010 at 4:46 PMYou are telling the truth, April . It’s so true around here. There are plenty of guys who lie in their profiles. It’s really common around the Los Angeles area that good looking guys and girls don’t tell their real age in their internet profiles. Gotta meet in person soon.
Mark says
July 6, 2010 at 1:12 PMWell, I lied about my age. Then couldn’t figure out a way to tell her because I would have to admit lying. The relationship was going really well but I had it on my conscience and when she found out it was the end because the trust had been broken. If you’re looking for a serious relationship Don’t Do It!