Dating with Integrity: Consider Your Computer Dating Photos Sporting Your Present Image?
Dating with Integrity Online: Does Your Computer Dating Profile Feature Your Current Style?
I know, you’re looking to venture into online dating post your digital photos. But the good pix of you that you have, hey man, your hair and facial hair have changed.
Alternatively, perhaps you wear glasses but your primary photo taken by a professional photographer features you not wearing them. Really that can be an issue with photos where your glasses are always reflecting the light. Just make sure that you manage this piece of information correctly and do not deceive your potential dates. What are some creative ways to manage tactfully and truthfully that you wear glasses?
Perhaps in 1 photograph where your hands are visible, have yourself holding your glasses. Alternatively, you can mention in your profile text that you wear glasses, and make light of it humorously that they just don’t photograph well. That way your prospective dates do grasp that you wear glasses and if anyone is familiar with people wearing glasses they will anticipate that will look a tad different than your profile photos. But they will not feel deceived that way. And THAT is the feeling you want to avoid.
Everyone looks a little different in real three-dimensional life when encountered in-person face-to-face (F2F). Anyone who has been on at least one first date sourced from internet dating knows this and has it as part of their expectation. This is one of the reasons why I stress to aim to meet for a first date after you each send each other 3 – 5 emails. If you two instead email each other for weeks on end, you start to form a fantasy in your head only loosely based on the two dimensional photos you have seen.
Some men change the precise cut of their facial hair every few months. Is it peach fuzz, the well-cultivated 4 days of beard growth, a goatee, or other beard growth style variations typically most popular with the 20 and 30 somethings. Still, some men in their 40s and 50s who are perhaps reentering the singles dating world again after their divorce might be playing with their image newly a single man again. What that means is that your profile photos just likely cannot keep up with your facial hair image. So your profile photos might show you with a mustache and goatee. Whereas now perhaps the mustache is gone and it’s just a fringe of hair on your chin.
So long as you mention to your prospective dates something casual in your email exchange along the lines of, “Hey, my beard has changed a bit over the last month or two. The goatee photo where I’m hiking is the closest to how I look today. I sure hope you like getting outdoors on the weekend like I do.” Notice how you just give the a casual update. It’s no big thing. And at the same time you just weave it into the topics of email conversation your sharing with your Prospective Dates anyway.
When you’re looking for a serious long lasting love relationship online, it’s ok not to be perfect. Yes, make the effort to respect yourself and your Prospective Date by putting your best foot forward. Combine that with demonstrating you’re a genuine person with your profile text and email exchange as you navigate the minefields to getting to the first date. Then you are well on your way to a serious relationship.
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
Internet Dating and Relationship Expert
As seen in Dating for Dummies, 3rd Edition
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Cherie Miranda says
October 31, 2011 at 9:11 PMReally great advice for internet dating profile photographs, April. As always! 🙂
Cherie Miranda
Dharana: The Sixth Limb of Yoga
Reading body language and how to build rapport says
October 31, 2011 at 9:36 PMApril, this is expert dating advice for sure when it comes to writing internet personals ads. You are the best. These are great ways to write an online profile.
Scott Sylvan Bell
Reading body language and mirroring
Now go implement!
Andrew Miner says
October 31, 2011 at 10:15 PMI think the old adage is, “Under-Promise and Over-Deliver”. The same should go for Online Dating Profiles! You are the Queen of writing internet dating profiles, April.
Andrew
Exercise is a Gift
Michael D Walker says
November 1, 2011 at 12:39 AMGood advice on casually mentioning if your facial hair or general appearance has changed from the photos you’ve posted online.
Michael
Success Secrets
Rob Malone says
November 1, 2011 at 2:03 AMHi April,
Good advice on how to address issues such as change in facial hair and glasses. Also I really like your end comment that you don’t have to be perfect when looking for that long term relationship.
Dennis Perry says
November 1, 2011 at 4:22 AMApril,
This is great advice. People can, and probably should, experiment a bit with their appearance. Just be up-front and honest.
Dennis
Sonya Lenzo says
November 1, 2011 at 7:32 AMApril, good advice to call attention to the photo that is most like how you look right now.
Sonya Lenzo
Clare Delaney says
November 1, 2011 at 10:13 AMWhat a great way of overcoming potential problems with profile pictures – you really do think of eveything April!
EcoExpert
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John Moulder says
November 1, 2011 at 12:37 PMI find it incredible these things are not changed immediately on your online precence . Shows people are not serious about finding a partner . Good advice April , as usual .
Eva Palmer says
November 1, 2011 at 2:15 PMApril!
This is great advice! I don’t have any profile on a dating site but I can understand how deceiving can be to meet someone and find that he or she looks very different from the profile picture.
Would you recommend sharing before meeting a recent mobile picture for example?
Hipnosis Barcelona Valencia
Kevin Bettencourt says
November 1, 2011 at 3:02 PMI’m surpised to hear glasses would be an issue. The DMV had me buy my first pair in March.
Neil Dhawan says
November 2, 2011 at 7:52 PMHi April,
This is a very helpful article because I really didn’t think that if one wore glasses but didn’t wear them in a profile picture, that it would be that big of a deal. However, you elegantly point out that one wants to stay away from the idea of being deceptive so to “casually” give appearance updates are probably a good idea.
Great tips … thanks, Neil
Steve says
November 10, 2011 at 10:49 AMi know that profile pictures say a lot, but i didn’t know that there’s a reflection on what you post (example facial hair). i didn’t understand. thank you for this April.
doktor says
November 15, 2011 at 4:08 AMHey April,
you give good advice to call attention to the photo.The most important thing is that you are really in the photo looks the way you look now. The photo should not therefore be 5 years old.
John says
November 24, 2011 at 9:19 AMYou are absolutely right about being upfront. For example, I recently cut my hair very short and all my pictures are long. I mention this before meeting and it is no problem. However, I feel not being upfront would be a disaster!