Social Etiquette Guidelines: Giving a Hostess Gift
In the Facebook Era where every social event is being announced online with only internet based and apps sources invitations and birthday gifts are digital gift cards, we might be seeing a decline in the familiarity of The Art of Giving Hostess Gifts. At the core of giving a gift to our hostess, or host, is that it is done warming, in person, and face-to-face. Even a plastic gift card handed to your hostess is not quite it, but if you’re stuck and need to, she, being the gracious hostess that she is, will accept it and murmur words of appreciation to you for thinking to gift her a present for the occasion of a party or dinner.
Why Social Graces and Not Rules of Etiquette
I’m using the term Guidelines as well as Social Graces instead of Rules because at the root of true etiquette is to foster social grace, good positive feelings, and congeniality. “Rules” makes it sound so strict and formal. It’s not about being Right or Wrong or strict. It’s to nurture warm and convivial social interactions, social ease and foster goodwill. So, these are guidelines for you to be inspired and little bit motivated by, both in interpersonal and business interactions.
One of the most important Social Graces, not just the Etiquette of Rules and Protocol which can sometimes connote a restrictive feel to it, is the simple gracious gesture of giving your host or hostess a present. Giving a gift card is not enough. Why, you might be wondering? Because it lacks the personal touch. Despite the gift giving advice of Offers.com‘s Vice President Howard Schaffer, the personal touch is required as a gracious guest giving your hosts a welcoming gift. To do less than that, in some cultures, is to insult your host.
The very idea behind giving a Hostess Gift is to acknowledge in the most gracious manner possible your appreciation for her thoughtfulness in inviting you to her social event.
Modern social conventions of Potluck Parties where it can almost appear that your hostess didn’t really have to go any effort to host the party often garner the 20 Somethings crowd bringing just Chips and Salsa.
Alternatively, the dinner guest who brings a bottle of wine as a gift expecting his host to crack open the bottle of wine miss the point of the Hostess Present.
A Hostess Present is intended to be a gift.
Theoretically, that means, the bottle of wine is hers to keep to enjoy herself at a later occasion than this evening.
While the giving of gift cards and digitally stored and shared presents can indeed be quite convenient, virtual gifts lack the feeling of substance.
We might in many ways greatly appreciate the Amazon Gift card with its accompanying ease of use and breadth of product selection to enjoy.
However, we did not experience interpersonal connection fostering of the physical exchange when handing someone a gift box. They physical substance of the gift wrapped box is lost.
We lose out on the halo affect of some handing up a personal gift. We don’t feel we received at the same level as when a friend, a guest, colleague or family member hands up a gift.
Gift giving really is a beautiful and thoughtful exchange of energy. When you put some thought into the hostess present you bring with you to give to your party hosts that evening or for that special weekend getaway in the country, you host then converts all of those warm and happy thoughts and feelings associated with the item you gave now with you.
Cheers and blessings,
April Braswell
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