Awhile back I blogged and suggested that singles over 40 or 50, the Boomers, Gen X and Gen Y singletons, in particular needed to make concerted efforts to expand their social circles. Well, as we used to say when I was in Sales at Oracle, “I eat my own dog food.” Namely I am walking the walk and actually DOing the after 40 dating advice what I suggest. Because as a baby boomer/Gen X young widow, I am right in there with you and your dating experience. I’m following my own advice, I’m not just suggesting tactics to you. I do these myself and am in the trenches right there along with you each week while I look for love again, now at midlife.
So, here I am in Southern California in The OC for the Memorial Day Weekend. I am visiting with family, which getting the 5 of us together is rare, the 6 of together all at once takes an act of God (Wedding or a Funeral). So, to me, our group altogether time is very precious and I guard it like some parents guard their time with their children (totally understandable).
However, while I travel, I do look to see if there are people with whom I can deepen the relationship with some face time (I feel so 80s when I say that, but it’s an even more a relevant term in the 21st c with all the Social Media relationships we have.). I have 2 women from college and a lady from an internet class I am taking. The latter is the one I am most hoping and putting the steps in place that we will meet.
And you’re laughing wondering what that has to do with dating.
Well, two things.
It is the HABIT I form. I endeavor to make the effort all the time as my NORMAL mode of operandi.
And… women are more likely to fix singles up than men are. Additionally, I am in the greater REGION of where I now live, more so than when I lived in Northern California. So if I actually met someone around here and we clicked, well, then we could actually reasonably date and form a relationship. NorCal to SoCal is a lot further than the OC is to Vegas.
Here is an area which I visit, mmm, like once a month or so on average. So, it is worth my sowing seed here for expanding my social circle and dating sphere to here as well.
One couple, it was the man who came from Central CA to the SF Bay Area regularly. He kept his eyes open when he traveled and pursued a lady in San Francisco. They married 2 years ago and just had their first child together last Summer. … Just so you know this DOES work and produce the results which you want.
In the mean time…
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
Healthy Italian Recipes says
May 25, 2009 at 3:45 AMApril – I agree with your thought that you just have to make it a habit to “chat people up” regularly. This along changed my business and my personal life dramatically.
Christian Haaller
John Ho says
May 25, 2009 at 4:50 AMApril,
Dating is like prospecting. If one want good dates, they need to continue to expand their social circle ALL the time, including travelling.
John Ho
JJ Jalopy says
May 25, 2009 at 6:00 AMHabit is super powerful as our Z Health friend Bob will surely attest.
“Do your social reps.”
Happy Memorial Day April. It’s a public holiday in the UK today too – but I’m not quite sure what for… My two minute google search didn’t help me either. So I’m thinking about all those people way braver than me…
God bless you and your country, friends and family!
JJ Jalopy.
Steve Chambers says
May 25, 2009 at 6:41 AMYou are so right when you tell people to always be open to social opportunities. There is an old book titled, “Never Eat Alone” (one of those books that you only need to read the title to get the message), that suggests you always get out there and meet people.
We should try to use our time and location to deepen connections, both professionally and socially. We can never have a true friendship with anyone unless we take the time to break bread with them.
Steve Chambers, The Sales Expert
Rob Northrup says
May 25, 2009 at 8:39 AMAnd sometimes a little distance can help a relationship to build more gradually rather than move to fast and burn out…
Seize the Day,
Rob
Personal Asset Protection For Small Business Owners
Anthony Lemme says
May 25, 2009 at 12:22 PMStaying connected to others and connecting with new people is so healthy on many levels. I agree with Rob (once again) that a little distance can help a relationship move at a more healthy pace. We often get excited and jump in to quickly due to the feel-good-chemical bath that our brains unleashe on us when we meet that special new someone.
Anthony
Pam Schulz says
May 25, 2009 at 5:42 PMNetworking, networking, networking. You never know who you might meet through your ever-expanding contact base.
Pam
Darryl Pace says
May 26, 2009 at 2:57 PMApril,
Having your clients develop and cultivate the Habit of expanding their social circle will definitely pay dividends. Great advice!
Health, Fitness — Darryl Pace
Duane Cunningham says
May 26, 2009 at 10:01 PMHi April,
Well I can attest to that fact in that my girl is working at the moment in the USA and Im working in Oz! But we actually connect almost every day
Whatever it takes
Duane
Lisa McLellan says
June 6, 2009 at 8:00 PMYou always have the best ideas and advice. You can find an opportunity anywhere and anytime to meet people. You are unbelievable!
Lisa McLellan, Babysitting Services – Babysitters, Nannies, and Au-pairs
Daniella Stephenson says
December 17, 2010 at 2:13 AMIt’s true. My social circle is quite small now and I know a group of guys already.
Susie Frank says
December 26, 2010 at 2:11 AMA bigger social circle does matter truly so our parties stay interesting.
Anna says
January 7, 2011 at 8:02 AMHi April. My group of senior single girl friends is insular. True.
Val says
January 7, 2011 at 10:27 PMHey April, now that I am finally retired I really enjoy traveling and exploring this great country. If I could meet a man along the way – groovy!
Audrie says
January 10, 2011 at 3:37 AMI like to travel internationally, do you think this expert dating tip for single seniors would work with senior single foreign men, too, April?
Bernie S says
January 16, 2011 at 8:31 PMApril does it matter at the airport to meet coffee or drinks in your senior expert opinion?
Deannine says
March 1, 2011 at 7:27 AMquickly April go drink coffee that’s were the single senior men are don’t you find?
Mena says
March 8, 2011 at 1:48 PMApril do we best find the after 50 senior singles man before check in or after TSA?
Taylor says
March 24, 2011 at 8:32 AMSince many of the senior singles do like to travel while retired and semi-retired, this sounds like a really good dating tip for after 50 and 60 year old singles. I like to travel but can’t seem to find groups geared for mature singles. So many are targeting yuppy singles and not me.
Ahn Nguyen says
March 30, 2011 at 2:05 PMI’ve heard of senior romances starting when traveling on cruises this sounds like a good idea.