As a dating coach, naturally, I was drawn to Allen’s chapters poking at the 21st century dating contrivance of Online Dating. It is Chapter 3, Expelled from Match.com. The title of the chapter alone seems like a parody dating back to the Garden of Eden for folks of a Judaeo Christian heritage. Perhaps Allen is poking even more fun at our funny and odd dating mores making Match.com akin to Yahweh from whom we are all asking and seeking a Life Partner romantic relationship online.
Online dating, the very world where yes it seems that everyone is Single, Rich, Under 39 years old, and has a perfect body. What a riot the funny story that Allen tells of his adventures at seeking romantic companionship and dates at Match online. Of course, in keeping with Allen’s sense of humor and writing style, he takes what is already a high comedy potential topic – Online Dating – with all of the gaffes, social faux pas, and vanities we are prone to, and then he stretches it even further into the realm of hyperbole. If you can read the chapter on internet dating without splitting a gut, I want to see the video. I will forewarn you now. Do not eat food or drink any soda, water, coffee, or tea while you are reading his chapter on Internet Dating. You will risk your health and potential visit to the emergency room ER either spitting it across the room and making a mess or merely choking, losing, oxygen and having your face turn purple.
Of course Allen teases us further playing on his having planted the familiar cultural metaphor of the Expulsion from the Garden of Eden in Chapter 3 when he continues in the world of modern dating in Chapter 7 on The Ever-Changing Dating Game. He gives a hilarious overview of courtship and dating through the years and then takes us into the all-to-true-to life modern phenomena of Texting. He parallels 20th century courtship and love letters in which tender hearted lovers shares their soul and the deepest yearnings of their heart to now where we have 140 characters to articulate and share the innermost desires of our souls. It is a riot and Allen’s humorous perspective is contagious.
Chapter 18 introduces the even faster dating, mating, and courtship rituals of Speed Dating and further modern acronym while Chapter 24 poses the truth of “The Real Secret to Using On-Line Dating.” Allen jokes here in such a true-to-life manner he actually is quite accurate about how modern singles can behave. “I haven’t been on a date in over five years… so it’s easy to understand why I’ve grown comfortable with sidling up to women [at many dating sites]… while wallowing in the safety that only deception and miles of distance can provide.” In this section parodying and satirizing modern dating behaviors Allen focuses on the phrases and aphorisms of Internet Dating Profiles. You will positively giggle!
Watching Grandma Circle the Drain is a marvelous and outright funny look at various attributes of modern life from Allen’s dry and parodying style. Each of the chapters is really only a few pages long, so this is a book to keep around your living room table or give to a friend for a Holiday present when you need to inject some dry wit perspective into your daily life, and who couldn’t use a few more laugh in their day?
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
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