Getting Ready… for love, business, and life

Normally I really strive to write and offer an Article here at my blog, about something related to dating, online dating, midlife, after 40, over 45, 50 and 60 plus, boomer dating, recently the fun (haven’t the comments been fun?!) topic of Cougar Dating.

Whereas today, I am preparing.  Actually, yesterday AND today.

I am giving two 105 min workshops on Saturday (September 19, 2009) in Las Vegas for the 12th Annual National JACL (Japanese American) Singles Conference.  They are the oldest Asian American org of its kind in the US.  I feel really honored to be invited to participate and present in Las Vegas.

So I am PREPARING.  I am doing a LOT of preparing.

It’s funny, being an expert, I have a ton of knowledge, fun anecdotes, illustrations, recommendations, experience, case studies/examples.  However, it’s all in bits and pieces.  Initially.  I remember discovering free form poetry or stream of consciousness prose writing.  Those STYLES fit how my brain stores and thinks of things.  You see, as a temperament, I am a SOCIALIZER.  We are both in our personality and our brains, Social Butterflies.  We flit.  We fly.  And boy we sure DO know how to have fun as well as connect, support, coach, coddle, cajole, nudge, nudge one more time, and build the relationship.  As a number of you who have known me for over a year via the internet and business building know.  Once we have that coaching/team relationship, I am committed along with you to do everything I can to ensure you succeed.  Over time. Might not be this quarter. But we’re not giving up.  Because that’s life.  We keep going.

Well, here I have all of this STUFF in my brain about dating.  And doing and leading seminars and workshops is a great great exercise for me.  Because I am a really good, fun, and engaging speaker.  And it is always a challenge for me to organize my thoughts and all of that information into a STRUCTURE.  I never really grasped it beyond the opening 4 major points and maybe 2 subpoints deep HOW TO OUTLINE.  I think we covered in it 5th grade with Mr. Simpson.  It wasn’t really a great time in my life, just before my parents divorce.  And certain topics I just did NOT absorb well and really LEARN.  I think all of my poor teachers along the way have thought I wrote well… but April, organize your thoughts better

Well, one of my tricks, I think I picked this up from Kevin, or heard something from him, as well as Fred Gleeck, about drafting your Table of Contents first.  And I couldn’t start there.  I have had to collect specific books on any topic whatsoever and I study their TOC – table of contents.  By doing so, it helps me to SEE (ah yes, visual learner) what a Full Table of Contents looks like.  It goes several subpoints deep.  Or can.  And I’m like, oh wow.  I get it.

So, that is how I have been preparing.  Practicing structuring my thoughts for them on Saturday.

And in terms of preparing for love.  Many singles make the mistake of thinking that it would be fun and cool just to TOSS up an Online Dating Profile this afternoon.  What the hey! Let’s! Sort of attitude.  Whereas to online well, to succeed and date well requires preparation – gather your thoughts.  Gather photos.  Think.  Assess.

So does love take preparation.  Often there is some emotional exfoliating to do first.  Some of the concretes for how to let go and move on from prior relationships we had.

And we need to focus our mind, imagine what is it that we REALLY want? Not what others may want in their relationships.  And what would an average day look like? Would you two go food shopping at Safeway together?  And can you see doing the laundry – real life stuff – as a romantic interaction?

Preparation in love, romance, and business help to succeed in life.

Happy Dating and Relationships,

April Braswell

Las Vegas Midlife Dating Expert