Friday Night, Get Out of Dodge

For the single folks who don’t have a date and it is Friday night and Saturday night – THE BIG DATE NIGHTS – are looming before you. Ladies, don’t just stay at home.

What are you to do if you don’t already have a date lined up?

You have to start building your dating pipeline NOW.
You have to start sowing some seed about MEETING new people.

Start getting in the WEEKLY habit of checking the CALENDARS and EVENTS section of your local newspaper. Now the thing is, what you need to focus on for most effectively meeting new people is not to go to your favorite rock group’s concert.

yeah

It’s fun.

However, you will have MINIMAL interaction time with OTHERS while you are there.

The better thing to do is to sign up for both social and business events newsetters. Like with SocialDomain.com. This is just an example. SocialDomain serves San Francisco, Los Angeles, and Washington, DC. So if you live outside of those areas, search out something SIMILAR for YOUR metro area.

Social Domain includes both events geared for singles and business events. Singles often overlook the importance of attending those smaller scale (under 50 people attending) technical and business events. These are often great places to meet others at a ratio that ensures you have time to connect warmly with frankly MOST of the people there.

Yes, it is business. Dress to impress (leave your Victoria’s Secret plunging neckline top for later, NOT tonight), ladies – skirt suits, gentlemen – YES, DO wear a suit or at least business casual WITH a sports jacket/navy blazer sort of look. Talk business, warmly, and then segue TACTFULLY to the personal

OK, this is IMPERATIVE.

LOOK FOR A WEDDING RING. (Left hand)

If no ring there, this LIKELY means the lady is single.

If no ring there on a MAN, not all married men wear a band. It was originally for MEN to read that a lady was OFF MARKET. He may work with his hands. whatever. Just tread TACTFULLY here.

IF NO RING and YOU ARE… innnnnnterested, then utter a sentence like this: “I’m really enjoying talking with you. You’re so easy to talk to. You’re so intelligent. How about we grab drinks at (the hotel bar at the networking event venue, the bar at the restaurant which is the venue, a wine bar around the corner from the networking event)?”

As you have drinks there, flirt A LITTLE. Give them a graceful OUT. At the end of 1 or 2 drinks (goal is to connect, not get drunk. goal: segue to a DATE), “I’ve really enjoyed talking with you. You’re so fascinating. You’re so intelligent. I enjoy the same books/politics/tv shows/dogs you talked about….”

If it is the WOMAN doing this: “… I’d really love it if you asked me out on a date. Here’s my personal card [personal cell number, not work number].” Close mouth. Smile sweetly.  If he is interested, he will likely SAY SOMETHING RIGHT THEN.

If it is the MAN doing this: “…I’d love to take you out on a real date. Can I get your cell number, not just your work number?” Close mouth. Smile at her. WAIT. If you two have discovered a shared passion for pinto noir, fabulous to ask her on a Pinot Noir Wine Tasting event next Friday night. Otherwise, leave the DETAILS and AGENDA of the date for when you PHONE HER LATER. Maybe she voiced a delight with THAI food and you know this fabulous little place which grows their own Basil. OK to ask her directly to a THAI DINNER Saturday night when you meet her. OTHER THAN those obvious agenda dates, wait until you phone her to do that.

You want to do only one Call to Action at at time with her.

Right now, your goal is to GET HER PERSONAL NUMBER with her agreement that she is receptive to your asking her out on a date.

Do the ACTUAL ASKING HER ON A DATE later.

Happy Dating!

All the best,

April Braswell
Dating Coach for Women After Forty

As seen in Dating for Dummies, 3rd Edition

April Braswell is an expert columnist at DatingAdvice.com and speaks to singles in Singles Groups and Church Singles Ministries as well as Divorce Support Groups.  Looking to Book April to speak at your Singles Event?

Connect with April on Google+