This time I’m going to address a very specific issue within the great world of Christianity (and I am including Catholics under that Big Umbrella today because this issue I run across more in very small boutique Protestant Christian churches, but they might disagree) for giving dating and courting advice, tips, and strategies to singles.
Faith Exclusivity
I was hard pressed to find a two word synopsis that conveyed this issue, so I made up my own. Faith Exclusivity: By which I mean that your church and adherents believer that you all have the sole grasp on precisely how to “Get Into Heaven.” You might be using other words such as “Saved,” “Washed In the Blood,” “Born Again,” and others. And even those churches who do use those phrases may not be practicing this issue. Where you think you all are The Only Ones who are going to heaven and that if you do not hold precisely to their beliefs, than you’re not truly Christian and going to heaven.
Some of us from different churches and denominations use some self-deprecating humor to joke that there may be some different neighborhoods or districts in heaven, but that we certainly do recognize that other Christian Churches and adherents will be there.
Well, the thing is, if you don’t believe that, if you believe your Church alone will be there, you really have absolutely no business whatsoever dating anyone ever outside of your precise denominational Church. There are many Christians who have very strongly held preferences for a spouse of the same denomination as they are. However, if you scratch the surface, you find that there is actually a little room for them to date and court another single seeking their Soul Mate from another Church. If you believe your Church alone is saved, do not mislead or defraud another human being with dating outside of your Church. Were you to do so and then later not only break up with them but tell them, well, yes, I have to say it because this is what they say, “I risked my salvation dating you and you’re damned to H….” is not a kind and loving way to break off a courtship. Like you did them such a favor to be dating them and “risking your salvation.”
There just is no kind, gentle, or pleasant way to respond to that. I know I’m being a bit strident about this. I know some folks who read my blog might actually think that they qualify for that identification. I don’t mean it rudely or cruelly to you. Just, if you do hold to Faith Exclusivity, then please do date and court solely within your Church least you hurt another. There is no way to avoid heartache otherwise.
For the rest of you singles reading my blog, the strategy take away for you is,
When you know what you absolutely DON’T WANT in a relationships, for goodness sake, don’t go dating and courting it!
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
Internet Dating Profile Writer | Online Personals Ad Writer | Dating Profile Writer | Online Dating Profile Expert
Having written hundreds of dating profiles, written numerous dating articles, and contributing to books such as “Dating for Dummies” 3rd Edition, and many articles for singles dating, April helps singles like you move from just being online to having an engaging profile which gets responses!
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Naomi Bettencourt says
April 15, 2011 at 2:59 PMYou are absolutely right. More single people should follow your blog; then they would have known to write down their list of Must Have values before dating someone they would find unacceptable.
Stay Cool!
Naomi Bettencourt
Peggy Larson says
April 15, 2011 at 4:23 PMStrident or not April, you’re right on the mark with this advice for Christian singles desiring to wed!
Peggy
Reading Body Language says
April 15, 2011 at 5:23 PMApril you always have the best practical advice for singles!!
Reading Body Language
Jennifer Battaglino says
April 15, 2011 at 5:25 PMOh my goodness are you right Ms. Braswell…it’s why you’re the expert! I like that you point out it’s necessary to know what you don’t want just as much as what you do. If the individual’s beliefs limits them to a certain group then so beit, regardless of whether we would disagree or not. Better for everyone all around.
Jennifer Battaglino
Personalized Empowerment – Face Your Fear
Bryan says
April 15, 2011 at 5:49 PMApril, you are truely the expert when it comes to finding the right person. Your advice has helped me be more successful in my personal relationships…Thanks
Sonya Lenzo says
April 15, 2011 at 6:03 PMI would not call that strident. I would call that a road map to avoid heartache. If you can tell from Date One that there is no way you would ever get serious with this person…it just makes sense to stop now.
Sonya Lenzo
Scott Sylvan Bell says
April 15, 2011 at 9:12 PMApril, your dating advice is always right on. It seems that all too often we try to force things to fit into a mold and this may be one of those times.
Scott Sylvan Bell
http://www.scottbellconsultant.com
Now go implement!
Trisha Chambers says
April 15, 2011 at 11:20 PMGreat Advise there for singles pretty Lady April!
Clare Delaney-Young says
April 16, 2011 at 5:02 AMAn excellent suggestion to avoid future heartache.
https://aprilbraswell.com/faithexclusivitychristiandatingtip.htm
Hipnosis para perder peso Barcelona Valencia Savilla says
April 16, 2011 at 9:48 AMYou are so rigth! The problem here I think is that usually most women are more clear and sincere than most men…Wish everyone that is very strict with their religious convictions and wants to date read this…
G.E. Moon II says
April 16, 2011 at 10:14 AMGreat advice on “inter-faith” dating and relationships.
Yours In Health!
G.E. Moon II
http://www.abundanthealthcenter.com/category/Products-for-the-Body-3
Neil Dhawan says
April 16, 2011 at 12:21 PMI like the idea of, when we know what we don’t want, we should STOP going after it. Contrast breeds clarity 🙂
Best, Neil
Dewayne Chriswell says
April 16, 2011 at 1:43 PMAnother great post for two minutes to avoid way too much emotional investment and heartache.
Dewayne Chriswell
http://dewaynechriswell.com
Michael D Walker says
April 18, 2011 at 10:34 PMOutstanding advice on knowing what you don’t want and staying away from that. Too many people are in such a rush to get into a relationship that they break their own rules or standards and then can’t figure out why they’re so unhappy in their new relationship.
Michael