Oh MY!
It is a simply GORGEOUS day here in the San Francisco Bay Area. I know, my turn to gloat about gorgeous weather.
It has been unbelievably hot for the past few days, close to around 100 degrees when most of our houses do NOT have AC.
Today it is back to being beautifully temperate weather.
What did I do today?
Gotteth myself to THE PARK!
Yes, it’s Sunday.
Glorious weather.
Go to the park.
You can always go with a few friends who are your props to help you initiate contact and conversations.
Bring a baseball glove and ball, bring a frisbee. SOMETHING.
Take over a picnic table. They are usually close together. You will just HAVE to say something to folks at the tables next to you. You’re just being friendly and polite.
Be sure to toss the frisbee around. And don’t be too good at. Inadvertently have it land on someone blanket, or right near them. “Oh, sooooo sorry. Here let me get that for you.” Just DO refrain from actually boinking them on the head with your frisbee.
“Oh, let me make it up to you. Would you like a cold beer?” Cold beer or a soda – no worries about strange food from strangers. Open it for them if you are a man for the lady. Hand it to him and then hand him the bottle open if you are lady with a gentleman.
Ladies, let HIM be THE MAN. He will unconsciously filter you as “heeeey, this one is FEMININE” when you let him do it himself instead of mothering him with doing it for him.
Gentlemen, when you open it for her and hand it to her, her unconscious filter will say, “heeeeey, he’s a gentleman…..” because you just in a little gesture (that’s what we are reading a LOT in early dates and why the importance of Open Cars Doors and Building Doors for us……) communicated to her your ability to provide for her (provide, protect) and cherish her with 21st century ways. She’ll flutter and this will illicit a feminine response.
Ok, you’re started. Now SAY something, “How about that heat wave! It sure was a scorcher, wasn’t it?” or your own region’s small talk.
Go!
OK, side note. Some people have emailed me offline about, “Oh April, I can’t just then ask a stranger for a date after 3 sentences.”
That is really perfectly ok. Cause you might actually get rejected. If you’re the man and ergo doing the asking (as the ladies, our job it to FLIRT to demonstrate receptive interest), you just might get rejected.
That is OK. If you want to hire me to coach you to bolster you in the midst of that journey, that’s what I’m here for.
In the meantime, some rejection CAN happen. But what we all are doing here is PRACTICING BEHAVIOR.
Think of yourself as an athlete.
You are practicing your fundamentals, your fundamental dating and relationship skills.
Each conversation attempt helps you to BUILD your superb poise and comfort and practice exuding your style and brand. Fine tune over time to see what is most effective for YOU with the opposite sex (or same if that is the case).
Going on Dates – or Dating Just to Date – is PRACTICE.
Can you imagine being the star player on a sports team and just showing up for The Big Game thinking (as if your coach would even LET you play!) without having been to practice all season long?
I mean, your throw would suck. (Yes, that was the technical term.)
You’d have no nuanced rapport with your team mates with who you need to throw and catch (or kick and pass, or shoot and pass, depending on your sport preference, just trying to help you out here.).
And you would have no practiced moves in your play book.
As Sonya Lenzo would say, “When experience counts…” And trust me, with relationships and aiming to build one, experience and PRACTICE does count.
So, yes, GO ON MORE DATES and go out and get some romantic experience.
Enjoy!
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
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