Midlifers Over 40, 45, 50: Bust Cougar Dating Myths
Debunking Cougar Dating Myths About Older Woman/Younger Man Marriages
As Cougar Dating becomes more mainstream with glamorous real-life examples from Hollywood of forties, fifties, and sixties alluring women Demi Moore, Susan Sarandon, and Goldie Hawn, here are some of the Dating Myths about Younger Men dating Older Women which still linger in our popular culture.
Cougar Dating Myth #1. They only want one thing
The sexual chemistry which can exist between younger men and their older women counterparts cannot be denied. However, the truth is, many younger men who pursue older women are not just looking for a one night stand or weekend fling. Truth bears out that they are seeking relationships of a more lasting nature.
Cougar Dating Myth #2. Those relationships are so short lived
The relationships are not just weekend or one month flinglettes. Many of the Older Women Younger Men relationships pursuing Cougar Dating are quite long lived, whether they are life partners or become married couples. 2 example couples, one Bay Area, one Los Angeles, have been married 10 years and life partnered for 6 years respectively.
Cougar Dating Myth #3. Those Cougar Women Are So Aggressive
Often it is the younger man who has her in his sights, wants her for a relationship and actively pursues her. Frequently the younger man must make an additional pitch to help the single boomer woman to over come her own prejudices, judgments, and beliefs sufficient to consider his romantic suit of her. Often the Boomer Women won’t date him until he first demonstrates the earnestness of his romantic interest in her. One Los Angeles area Cougar Love couple, they met while the two were on a work project together. He pursued her having to make his case for over 1 year before she would consider dating him. Indeed, this Christmas they’ll be celebrating 7 years together.
Cougar Dating Myth #4. Tacky and Sordid
Initially the label “Cougar” was affixed to tackily dressed women who prowled singles bars in some sordid manner. But was that label ever even really expressive of actual life? Many of the Cougar Women are quite smart, classy, and attractive women of varying social classes.
Cougar Dating Myth #5. The Men Must Be Unattractive and Hard Up
The counterpart myth to the Cougar Dating Myth that the women must be overly aggressive or tacky in some manner is the belief then that the young man must be hard up somehow. Surely he is not attractive. Not only is that highly prejudicial and biases that men would only be attracted to women their own age or younger. But it is simply not true. In both the case of the Northern Californian and Southern Californian couples cited, the young man was very attractive for what women find attractive. While neither has the hyperpolished fashion image of GQ, both possessed more rugged masculine good looks combined with sterling relationship qualities and fabulous physiques. The consistency of their character and pursuit and stability. These are a combination which made these men fabulously attractive to women with mature taste wanting more than just a pretty face in man.
Having dispelled all these myths about Cougar Dating, when you venture out and onto the net for online dating, keep an open mind about the age range for your search. You just might find love online where you least expected it, in the arms of a younger man!
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
Las Vegas Baby Boomer Dating Expert
As seen in Dating for Dummies, 3rd Edition
April Braswell is an expert columnist at DatingAdvice.com and speaks to singles in Singles Groups and Church Singles Ministries as well as Divorce Support Groups. Looking to Book April to speak at your Singles Event?
JJ Jalopy says
September 14, 2009 at 1:56 PMCan you tell Anthony to stop boasting, please?!
Thanks,
JJ
April Braswell says
September 15, 2009 at 8:52 AMHi Lisa,
yes, please do share my blog and website with your girlfriend. Sometimes in certain geo-areas, the older beliefs and prejudices linger longer. And both the singles don’t even seriously consider each other half-thinking, my family will never accept this. Or they just don’t even SEE the other single for a relationship because of their filter and perception system. Sometimes a little nudge from a sweet friend like you encouraging them that they would be accepted makes all the difference in the world. I mean, could you imagine people saying that about race, ethnicity, or the like as if that were acceptable anymore?
April
Ludolph L. Misher says
May 10, 2010 at 11:16 AMApril…I find that there are so many misconceptions concerning what Older Women (Identified as Cougars)represents. These Women (most of them) are Wonderfully Intelligent,Secure,Confident and rightly so,…Sure Of Themselves! They aren’t preying on younger Men…It’s mostly… the same Attraction anyone else has when what they SEE is processed as someone they have an interest in! The Fact that statistics show an unbalanced percentile ratio of Men to Women ….Companionship and a Quality of Life are important to most Women…no matter the age. My Past experiences with Mature Women has complimented my life Emencely! This special Relationship is not for those with inhabitions and obvious imaturity…only for the ones who are capable of adjusting to lifestyle changes…everything else remains the same! Live and Let Live!…Ludolph
Moira says
January 8, 2011 at 1:53 AMStill it seems difficult to find single men my own age. Where are all the senior single men? Even the ones who aren’t married always seem to have a date already.
Subliminal Hypnotism Secrets says
April 20, 2011 at 3:01 PMCougar women are hot. What is the secret to winning with older women?
Alissa says
May 3, 2011 at 9:07 AMHi April. I see plenty of healthy relationships where the woman is older than the man, however, it feels like society still frowns on it not taking the relationships seriously. Most of the tv shows even poke fun at it. What gives? WHen will people get over it and leave us alone?
Alissa
Orin says
May 5, 2011 at 12:37 PMHere in the EU it is very acceptable that younger men find mature women very desirable and sexy for their culture and sexual experience. You Americans are so funny and uptight.
Henrik says
May 7, 2011 at 12:51 PMit must be so different in the United States than it is here in Europe about the sex appeal of older experienced women are so sexy.
Lucy says
May 13, 2011 at 12:07 PMWhy is it so strange that young men find women with experience so sexy like they do in France for centuries?
Jena says
May 1, 2012 at 7:37 PMI suppose I am a cougar and always have been. My first husband was 10 years younger (married 10 years) my second husband was 8 years younger(together for 8 years). I am now in a relationship with a man 23 years younger (lol, maybe this one will last 23 years!). Not only is he the most attractive man I’ve ever dated, he is also the kindest, sweetest, most intelligent man. I have no idea why he is so crazy about me but I’m glad he is. Both of our families and our friend’s have no problem with the age difference as long as we are happy. I’m not looking to ever marry again and he already has a child from a previous relationship. Life is too short to pass by opportunities to be happy just because others don’t approve.