Indeed, once the man has a woman’s phone number, then what are the expectations between the sexes of timing?
I know these things got covered very specifically by fictional single guys who did terribly with women in the fun Hollywood movie, “Swingers,” where the dateless girlfriendless guy advises his buddy not too phone a woman too soon, that he should wait at least 2 or 3 days.
Well, go ahead. See how that works for you. Because trust me, beautiful women with engaging personalities have other men pursuing them. So, g’head. If you get her phone number, let’s say on a Friday or Saturday night and you wait until next Wednesday or Thursday to phone her, in her mind, you’re long gone. Kevin Bettencort of Las Vegas had the right answer for the only really sort of acceptable texting prephone call is to ask her if phoning tonight at 7:30 pm is a good time for her. Yup. Man up. Phone her.
Now, not every phone number exchange between singles is accomplished in the swing night club lifestyle of the Los Angeles singles scene bar life. In fact, if you are implementing what I suggest to both single men and women, then you’re easily and readily meeting at least 5 new people each and every day as you Do Your Daily 5. It’s all of those sort of situations where more singles really do typically meet casually in ways that lead to lasting romance and relationships.
So let’s say you’re a single guy and you met this attractive woman (ok, in your mind you’re thinking, “hot chick.”) this evening at the Starbucks Happy Hour. You manned up, approached her, chatted her up, and you got her phone number.
Maybe you sent her a short text like, “Nice to meet you. You’re beautiful,” tonight after you got home. And then you need to phone her within a 48 hour range after meeting her. Because you two have actually met in person, you can do a little more texting than a guy who met her online.
If you got her phone number at the internet dating site then you need to phone her I am even going to say within 36 hours. You don’t have to phone her within hours of getting her phone number, but you do need to phone her within about 1 day of her giving you her phone number. Because at an online dating site, you two have already agreed to the two of you meeting to go on a first date. You don’t need to worry about her now rejecting your approach.
The only reason she would now reject your approach is if you annoy her with wussy text messages for a few days, phone her to chat, and then only sort of wimp out and bookmark a maybe date in over a week away.
If you make her wait too long for the first phone call or for the first date, you’ll annoy her and she’ll just write you off figuring you’re just not that into her. And then a guy phones, gets a tepid response from her, thinks online dating just doesn’t work for him, or that single women are just too high maintenance. It’s because of confused and contradictory expectations about texting and phoning timing.
Ideally, guys, phone her within 24 hours of your getting her phone number via having met online. Doing so you’ll demonstrate your manliness and real interest in meeting her.
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
Internet Dating and Relationship Expert
as seen in “Dating for Dummies” 3rd Edition
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Sonya Lenzo says
May 15, 2011 at 9:06 PMApril, While this might not seem important to some guys, it really is. Every relationship has a sort of momentum. ..like a dance…and if the ball gets dropped early on…it never seems to gets started again. Calling within a reasonable time frame is a big part of that!
Sonya Lenzo
Persuasive selling abilities says
May 15, 2011 at 10:40 PMApril, I love your expert dating advice but I have one question. By texting a woman is beatiful, can texting her that get a guy in trouble if that is what she is used to hearing, wouldnt she like to know she has other awesome features like a fun personality or that the is super smart.?
Scott Sylvan Bell
Persuasive selling abilities
Now go implement!
Dewayne Chriswell says
May 16, 2011 at 3:03 AMApril,
36 hours sounds like a fair amount of time to figure out exactly what you want to say. Three days, probably missed the boat…
Dewayne Chriswell
http://dewaynechriswell.com
John Moulder says
May 16, 2011 at 4:20 AMIs dating getting too technical ? Why listen to your friends , just phone the gal as you suggest April , within 24 hrs .
Covert Conversational Hypnosis says
May 16, 2011 at 6:02 AMHe who hesitates is…
Kevin Bettencourt says
May 16, 2011 at 12:16 PMNow I’m really confused!!! It wouldn’t be the first time when women were involved. Maybe I’ve been out of this game for awhile. I’m assuming I met a woman at an online dating service. This tells me she is actively looking. I’m assuming I had to ask for her number rather than her just blurting it out due to my rugged handsomeness. I guess my question would be what is too soon? I think I may call her or text my question immediately.
Eva Palmer says
May 16, 2011 at 1:00 PMI think 24 hours is good, 2-3 days?? You would think he is not interested any more,…I think!
Peggy Larson says
May 16, 2011 at 3:59 PMHow true. If guy waits too long the gal thinks he’s just not that into her and so she moves on. And re-ignightig the initial spark it’s always gonna work.
Peggy
Rachel Robinson says
May 16, 2011 at 5:07 PMYou are right about this! Especially when it comes to internet dating. If the woman gives you her phone number the hard part is really already over. You’ve agree online to go out now all that is left is a phone call to seal the deal. Waiting to long will definitely give her a reason to reject you.
Leadership Is A Choice
Clare Delaney says
May 16, 2011 at 8:19 PMSo many things to consider! Great advice on texting times April, thanks!
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Trisha Chambers says
May 17, 2011 at 6:52 AMYou see this problem on TV shows sometimes. The all to famous, ‘how long until I call her?’…….
Neil Dhawan says
May 21, 2011 at 3:08 PMI’ve heard about the “3 day rule” and what a load that is! You expertly pointed out that if the woman is attractive and has a great personality, there is, more than likely, quite a few men interested in dating her … one best be memorable upon the first meeting that you can actually afford to wait a day or two before calling – but if she’s that great, why would you even want to wait?
Best, Neil
Adriana Morris says
June 14, 2011 at 9:11 AMyeah, it’s true. i expect guys who are interested to phone and follow up pretty quickly. or i just think he is a wuss or a jerk.