Indeed, singles and couples need to keep their side of the fence clean, and the GriefRecovery completion process is the best one I have seen for having clean, clear actions to DO that. So many people say, “Oh, just let go….” Doesn’t that sound beautiful and lovely? (I can almost hear the swelling violin section, it SOUNDS so beautiful.) And yet we DO NOT KNOW HOW to do so.
There’s the initial massive clean up of the GriefRecovery work which is essential for Divorce Recovery or after the death of a spouse or end of a romantic relationship. Like with a move or after renovation and remodeling of your home. Still, we need to do weekly upkeep plus Spring Cleaning and Winter Cleaning.
I was just watching the TV show Nanny911 last night. The introduction of order into the home was essential for their children to behave well. However, the Nanny is always so wise. Essentially children “misbehaving” is often (I’m not an expert here, just my observation from the show and some training over several years) the thermometer gauge of a bigger issue with the adults, the marriage. The couple’s own lack of alignment and agreement in HOW to raise their children was mirror reflected in their children’s acting out behavior.
Often younger singles do not even THINK during their dating and courtship to have PARENTING STYLE sort of discussions and negotiations. What they talk about and grill each other on is, instead, “How many children do you want to have?”
Both topics are useful to discuss. As well as career plans, and finances must be discussed during the relationship building stage of courtship, sort of the Phase 2 and Phase 3 of the couples’ YEAR 1 of their courtship. And those are topics to be renegotiated and discussed AT LEAST annually.
Indeed, with the current economic times, outside forces might make those topics suddenly more pressing as one spouse loses his job, or the other spouse decides to start her own business on the side.
Happy Dating and Relationships!
April Braswell
Mitchell Rehaume says
April 22, 2009 at 9:32 AMHi April,
Great post and filled with great information on dating. A lot of your posts I can apply to outside relationships that are not with my partner.
Thanks,
Mitch
Mickah says
January 14, 2011 at 1:46 PMI would be grateful if more men did this after they divorce.