OK, we have gone over identifying your brand and you’ve come up with THREE attributes to quickly convey your essence which you will want to do in your Midlife Dating internet profile. Note 2019: folks over 40, 45, and 50, some of whom are Baby Boomers, some now are Gen X and fast approaching Gen Y singles. The online dating industry now refers to that group sometimes as Prime of Life, Midlife, and Senior singles.
Some of the questions I received included “What about age?” and “What about your looks?”
1. DON’T LIE ABOUT YOUR AGE:
Most of the internet dating sites require you to cite you birth date when you first create your profile. An important note which I stress, if your goal with online dating is to create a lasting life partner relationship, then you want to BE TRUTHFUL in your profile. Now, I am all about positioning the truth as favorably as possible. That is what hair coloring and make-up provide for ladies as well as does a good push-up bra (takes what you have and positions what you have to its best advantage).
However, sigh, do NOT LIE in your online dating profile. I know several single boomers who look young for their age and are loathe to directly state their age. Some of them lie about their age in their profile. Now the problem about doing this is that at some point in the RELATIONSHIP you’ve attracted and created is you will have to tell your romantic partner you real age. And you will have to tell them, I LIED TO YOU PREVIOUSLY.
If you’re with me, you can already invision the problem this will create. WHO will ENJOY receiving that statement from you? What ELSE will they be wondering about that you have perhaps lied to them about? Like your safe sex and HIV status. It’s just never going to be a happy relationship conducive conversation.
Avoid it completely by BEING TRUTHFUL.
Another thing about being truthful is USE RECENT PHOTOs of yourself. Yes, you can use one from a year or two ago, but your MAIN profile photo, the thumbnail photo other singles see FIRST when scrolling through the internet dating sites, THAT pix should be a recent, let’s say within about the last 12 months. Maybe from last summer or the 2008 holiday season when you were dressed super fabulously.
2. HOW YOU LOOK, YOUR HAIR/PHYSIQUE:
A significant attribute of my personal brand is that I have blonde hair, not just blonde hair, but LONG BLONDE HAIR. No real need to add that in my brand, it’s not really that unusual. And you will see it immediately in my photographs.
However, some of my single boomer women Online Dating Coach clients, their hair color or texture was part of what is really unique in them. For instance, if you are a RED HEAD (real or enhanced, and whose color by the time you are 38 isn’t SOMEHOW enhanced?), that is quite unusual. Less than 4% of the world’s population has naturally red hair. So, yes, if you are red head, THAT is pretty unique.
However, because of the connotations often associated with it, I may allow that in a client’s BRAND and yet soft-peddle it until we do some market testing and observe men’s responses to it. Like, no need to cite it in your headline or the body text of your profile, because hey, yeah, it’s already there in your pix. We might use the word AUBURN rather than RED HEAD when describing you.
3.Midlife, Boomer and Gen X Men: What If I’m Balding?
I’m going to suggest a style change to you which you might rather startling. Seriously consider outright shaving your head. When my late husband’s hair was thinning from the chemo, when my brother’s hair was having a serious bald spot, when my BIL’s hairline was seriously receding, all three of them SHAVED THEIR HEADS. In fact, in my wedding photos we have an amusing shot of The Bride with The Three Bald Men. (I don’t have that pix digitized yet. When I do, I’ll add it to my pix area and add it here in the coming months.)
It looks super CONFIDENT and gives your image a more ALPHA edge.
More to come about the WRITING of your internet dating profile for single boomers in the next few days. Some of you might be impatiently wondering, “April (arms across chest, stubborn, mulish expression on your face), is getting online really all this time consuming? Can’t I just throw up a profile?” Well, yes, you could. But my online dating coaching clients enjoy receiving over 40 great responses in the first 12 hours of their profiles being up versus the none – only a few half-hearted “winks” for those who don’t bother with all of this.
You tell me, is your finding and attracting your best high value life partner relationship worth it to you? Aren’t YOU worth the investment of your time like this?
Good. Because I already thought you were worth it. Which is why I’m investing so much of my time to help and enable you to do so. Because it really really DOES matter. There’s a marvelous quote on this, “Wed in haste, regret at leisure.”
Happy Dating and Relationships!
April Braswell
Bob Kaufer says
May 16, 2009 at 1:20 PMLet’s everyone shave our heads, sounds like a good plan.
Bob Kaufer
Lynn Lane says
May 16, 2009 at 1:39 PMAs always some very good advice. Love how you just make it about common sense and being honest.
Lynn Lane
Rob Northrup says
May 16, 2009 at 3:48 PMmore great advice. your personal brand is just as important in sales as it is in dating,,,
Seize the Day,
Rob
Christian Haller says
May 16, 2009 at 5:27 PM“Wed in haste, regret at leisure.” Indeed.
You’ve done a great job explaining branding. Everyone could use this advice.
Christian Haller
Pam Schulz says
May 16, 2009 at 6:20 PMYou raise some really good points about why telling the truth is crucial to a boomer’s online dating success. People need to be comfortable in their own skin – and hair – (or lack thereof! 😉
Pam
Sonya Lenzo says
May 16, 2009 at 7:49 PMMax and I have been talking …we don’t think either of us would look well with our heads shaved.Sorry.
Duane Cunningham says
May 16, 2009 at 10:17 PMHi April,
Very sound advice and being truthful in any circumstance is just what you must do!
Look what the bald look did for Neil Strauss!
Duane
John Ho says
May 17, 2009 at 4:56 AMApril,
Talking about creative presentation, you can’t get any better than the short story that I posted yesterday in my WordPress blog. I’ll reiterate it below:
Superb Presentation Skills
An interoffice softball game was held every year between the marketing and support staff of one company. The support staff whipped the marketing department soundly.
To show just “how” the marketing department earns their keep, they posted this memo on the bulletin board after the game:
“The Marketing Department is pleased to announce that for the 2008 Softball Season, we came in 2nd place, having lost one game all year. The Support Department, however, had a rather dismal season, as they won only one game.”
Sometime, it’s only a fine line between presenting it at the best angle and outright B.S. (Belief System, I mean 😀 )
John Ho
Don Shepherd says
May 17, 2009 at 7:34 AMBald is beautiful! in an informal survey my brother did, 17 out of 20 of his female friends suggested he shave his head as opposed to hair replacement, but he still can’t shake his rogain habit!
Don Shepherd
Steve Chambers says
May 17, 2009 at 8:47 AMGood advice. I have found it is best to be truthful when it comes to relationships. Truth is important when it comes to brandinga s well.
See you in a couple days.
Steve Chambers, The Sales Expert
Anthony Lemme says
May 17, 2009 at 9:40 AMTelling the truth is vital. I had to break up with a girl once because she lied to me abut numerous things at the start. She was an honest person overall but she felt like I might not want to date her so she lied about a few things and let it go.
Fast forward a few months and we were in a committed relationship and I started getting to know her, her friends and her family I started seeing an entirely different picture. Eventually, I confronted her and she made up more stories. Keep in mind, this woman was an honest and ethical person but she had this fear of turning me off and losing me.She got in over her head and being generally honest, she was a terrible liar.
Ultimately she came clean and explained. I loved her and understood. But as time went by, I just could not trust her like I wanted to so I gracefully bowed out. It was tough but I’m glad I did. It was a good lesson for both of us and we remain great friends.
Moral of the story be honest from the get go!
Anthony
jc mackenzie says
May 17, 2009 at 9:59 AMWell said…. even on the Net, a twist here and there will come back to bite you.
They joke about it on TV and in movies but when it happened to one of my co-workers son, it wasn’t pretty at all.
Good, doable advice as always
Thanks
JC
JJ Jalopy says
May 17, 2009 at 11:25 AMI’ve found that whenever I have “embellished” the truth it has come back to bite me in the ass – in all areas of my life.
Cool post April.
JJ Jalopy.
Lisa McLellan says
May 17, 2009 at 6:18 PMBut April, some guys just can’t pull off the bald thing. Do any of those hair growing products work? I do like the goatee (sp?) on bald guys. Some look great bald and others, well, not so much.
Do your clients really get that many responses? That’s way cool! You really know your stuff!
Lisa McLellan, Babysitting Services – Babysitters, Nannies, and Au-pairs
April Braswell says
May 17, 2009 at 11:16 PMHi Anthony,
thank you for sharing from that example. Yes, it’s not that we are to share our whole life story and extraneous details on The First Date. Sometimes people will blurt things out. However, outright lying and then more so and more so, well, it’s no foundation for an intimate relationship, indeed. Thank you for chiming in to support that.
Best regards,
April
April Braswell says
May 17, 2009 at 11:20 PMThank you, Lisa. Yes, indeed, those numbers are typical. Pretty cool, huh?
Best regards,
April
Pat Becker says
May 18, 2009 at 10:21 PMGood advice – no lying. Never a good thing in a relationship.
Pat
Darryl Pace says
May 19, 2009 at 10:23 AMApril,
Great quote at the end. Also, I like the advice from a woman (you) to men about head shaving. It’s good to get the woman’s perspective on this.
Health, Fitness — Darryl Pace
Randy says
September 30, 2015 at 5:03 PMit’s true. Girls actually go for looks more than guys. They’re ultra picky just buacese society makes the guys go after the girls, so they (women) gain this ego from being sought after so much. This ego makes them think they’re so hot, you see it all the time on myspace pages with those stupid slogans (Your girls turn heads, my girls break necks) lol what a bunch of dummies.