Tonight I will be brief, and want to talk with you a little about your internet dating profile for your Midlife Dating for Boomers, Gen X and Gen Y singles. By that time, for the most part, singles have sown their wild oats and gotten over being a bad boy or attracted to them. Singles are ready to seek a committed life-long love relationship, marriage minded or a life partner, no longer just a boyfriend or girlfriend any longer.
Two days ago I touched on THE GOAL for Millenial Daters and GenX Daters is often a bit different than it is for single Boomers who are dating. I used generational terms when I originally wrote this article, but really it’s about age cluster more than generations. It has to do with the often singles in their 20s and 30s are still both figuring out themselves as adults, their work, and their life purpose path, and also then what they want in a relationship. They’re typically more often looking for singles who “look good on paper,” whatever their values are, more so than truly knowing how to and looking deeper for someone with whom their soul resonates. That the KIND of romantic relationship desired is often a bit different.
Whatever kind of romantic relationship you DO want, you want to be sure to weave some of that into your online dating profile.
DEMONSTRATE DOMESTICITY:
While you may not be aiming for having any more children, because you are desiring to attract and create a romantic life partner relationship where you share your lives together, you want to convey some Home and Hearth feelings. You will want to demonstrate some domesticity in your profile.
Now, the men can safely directly in their online dating profile such direct statements like, “I want a relationship.” etc. Some of the GenX single men can even say, “I’m ready to settle down and have a family.” Women, we cannot. It sounds too loaded and desperate. Even the men, I would suggest some slightly more subtle phrasing for them, depending on their whole profile.
From your three column list, what can you include?
Women:
One of my busy successful executive business women coaching clients is an amazing cook. (Yeah, don’t you wish you were on HER Christmas Cookie baking list!) She includes a reference to being a really good cook (a little humility is a good thing, plus the gentleman must win the privilege of her inviting him over for dinner, not suggest it asap if we positioned it immediately in sentence one of the 1st paragraph of her profiles.)
That particular attribute also nicely yin softens and balances out her super yang successful business woman energy.
Men:
The men will sometimes mention such things as, “Successful in business, have learned to take out the trash and do my own laundry….” thus side stepping an image of being a playboy or bachelor pad which is a mess. That man is an adult and also subtly conveyed domesticity and masculine provision (taking out the trash is like one of the last ways a 21st century man can demonstrate his “bring home the kill” testosterone behavior where we ladies then thank, admire, and extol the virtues of it.)
What about you? What could you include?
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
John Ho says
May 18, 2009 at 4:13 AMApril,
> What could you include?
May I put in my face with a lovely smile as a bait :))
Don;t they say that the eyes is the window to the soul?
John Ho
Rob Northrup says
May 18, 2009 at 5:35 AMThis reminds me of the hilarious exchange between Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell in Groundhog Day…
Bill: What are you looking for? Who is your perfect guy?
Andie: First of all, he’s too humble to know he’s perfect.
Murray: That’s me.
Andie: He’s intelligent,supportive, funny.
Murray: Me, me, me.
Andie: He’s romantic and courageous.
– Me also.
Andie: He’s got a good body, but doesn’t look in the mirror every two minutes.
Murray: I have a great body, and sometimes I go months without looking.
Andie: He’s kind, sensitive and gentle. He’s not afraid to cry in front of me.
Murray: This is a man, right?
Andie: He likes animals and children, and he’ll change poopy diapers.
Murray: Does he have to use the word “poopy”?
Andie: And he plays an instrument, and he loves his mother.
Murray: I am really close on this one.
Seize the Day,
Rob
Sonya Lenzo says
May 18, 2009 at 7:47 AMApril, I am commenting and enjoying your wise dating tips for singles.
SunnyMarie
Steve Chambers says
May 18, 2009 at 9:59 AMApril, you have some great advice here for the boomer who is out there dating. I especially like the “Home and Hearth” advice because it is very important, especially as we grow older. For myself, and I fit this demographic, as well as most of the men I talk to, it is important that the woman contribute somehow to the relationship outside of simply looking good (which we expect) and providing sex.
Most men want a woman who will keep house and cook, at least to some extent. Feminism aside, most successful men prefer a woman who can manage a home and support them, even if they have a career outside the home.
Steve Chambers
Pam Schulz says
May 18, 2009 at 7:02 PMMore interesting information from the dating expert!
Pam
Don Shepherd says
May 18, 2009 at 8:57 PMApril
Recently one of my clients spent the day with me videotaping and shooting pictures as i worked. (yes, she is single) For lunch we stopped in at my house. My client commented i had the cleanest bachelor bathroom she had ever been in…..
My cleaning lady had just left before we got there. 🙂
Don Shepherd
Duane Cunningham says
May 18, 2009 at 8:59 PMHi April,
Great insight into what you should do when positioning yourself to the opposite sex
Duane
Pat Becker says
May 18, 2009 at 10:25 PMGot me giggling on that one. Take out the trash “is like one of the last ways a 21st century man can demonstrate his “bring home the kill” testosterone behavior” I think we have some in this group who might be amenable to taking out the trash AND are good at bringing home the kill. Venison anyone?
Pat
Darryl Pace says
May 19, 2009 at 10:52 AMApril,
Good stuff. I referred one of my friends to your site and blog.
Health, Fitness — Darryl Pace
JJ Jalopy says
May 19, 2009 at 6:08 PMGreat post!!
Interesting comments from Steve too about feminism…
JJ Jalopy.
Mary G Malia says
December 18, 2011 at 11:17 AMApril,
I found your site recently and love your approach and focus on Boomers. As a dating coach for lesbians, I might not be sending my clients to sports bars as often but you’re expertise is fabulous. Hope to meet you one of these days.
Mary
Gay Girl Dating Coach