A number of self-marketing tactics I recommend to single baby boomers, both single men and single women, are not just marketing strategies well-implemented but indeed they are top influence and persuasion experts scientifically studied materials brought into the context of romance and dating. Yeah, because THAT’s the kind of dating expert I am. I combine years of study, reading, field experimentation, and cutting edge scientific research. Because we want to know and to keep our dating and relationship lives fresh.
Because while part of the Baby Boom generation grew up with Ozzy and Harriet (bless their hearts), Leave to Beaver, and My 3 Sons. Our relationships NOW simply don’t resemble those. We want something different. Women have careers. Men have careers. And we want to meld our lives differently, and combine that with some fun travel sometimes. Am I right? Or am I right?
And even my single Millennial Dating folks, your dating game is a bit different than it was 20 years ago, 10 years ago, and certainly 30 years ago.
I’ve written some previous blog posts about first ascertaining as a single dater, What Do You Want? This is very important to do. Part of doing that actually activates your brain to help you to start THINKING of yourself into that scenario. Because if your brain can’t picture it, you won’t experience it. You’re activating your cerebral cortex. Some have applied the label of “The Law of Attraction” to this. Whatever you want to call it, fine with me. Just also know the fun science of your brain behind it.
So, say you are single Baby Boomer man. Perhaps… you are… divorced. Maybe even twice divorced. I mean, hey, you’re an attractive man. Of course, you were able to marry two times already. And you’re the marrying kind. So, you want to marry again.
Well, bless your heart. Simply the fact that you have already gone through 2 courtships which culminated in marriage means you are better off than the “Single, Never Married” folks at all the Online Dating Sites who simply don’t even know HOW.
But now… well, you’re a bit older. You already have kids. And don’t really want any more. So, your PICTURE of marriage which you have in your head. Well, it’s probably left over from at least the 1980s. You’re sort of seeing “Risky Business” the Parents. The House. And then swoosh. You’re thinking…. “ahhhh, I don’t want any more kids. Mine are already graduated from college…. So, uh, I don’t actually WANT a big house anymore….” Hmmm, how interesting. Follow that idea.
What do you want now INSTEAD? You don’t want a big house anymore. Do you want a townhouse? A Condo? A small ranch house with 1 acre of land? or 10 acres of land? A bit more in the country than the suburbs now? Start asking yourself those questions. And start PICTURING it. Start envisioning yourself. What would daily life look like? Feel like? OK, so maybe 5 acres of land with a good road to the city so you can still get all the STUFF you want. Start envisioning LIFE. And then, turn your head, WHO would fit well alongside you now? Without trying too hard to see HER FACE, envision some of her characteristics and attributes that will compliment your NEW lifestyle vision.
Good. That is a phenomenally good start.
Capture some of those thoughts and images on paper for what she is like.
What Are You Doing About I?
And then ask yourself, where would such a woman be NOW? Where would she be hanging? At a dancing class? Lunch with her girlfriends? Solitude at the library or Barnes and Noble?
Go where you think SHE would be. And start interacting with the women in those places.
Mazel tov!
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
Duane Cunningham says
July 5, 2009 at 9:54 PMHi April,
Ya know….she was at Borders!!..lol
Where else would you find an intelligent, attractive young lady!..lol
Brilliant post as always 🙂
Duane
John Ho says
July 6, 2009 at 2:39 AMApril,
Ya, THINK + ACT will get results.
John Ho
Numerology Expert Helps Understanding Personality for Better Influence & Persuasion
Darryl Pace says
July 6, 2009 at 2:36 PMGreat advice. Envision what you want, then go after it!
Health, Fitness — Darryl Pace
Fitness Product Review
JJ Jalopy says
July 6, 2009 at 2:23 PMHey April!
This was GREAT!
I think my perfect woman would be hanging out on the sofa in the front room. Shall I go check?! 🙂
Anthony Lemme says
July 7, 2009 at 8:59 PMHi April,
You are the mad scientist of dating. I appreciate so much of what you have to say even as a non-boomer. As a 40 year much of it is still relevant.
Anthony
Pam Schulz says
July 15, 2009 at 8:38 PMMore great suggestions from the Single Boomer Dating Expert.
Pam
Lisa McLellan says
July 26, 2009 at 7:00 PMI like this. Clear, concise instructions on figuring out what type of mate you want and where to go to find him or her.
Lisa McLellan
Babysitting Services – Babysitters and Nannies
Martin O'Connor says
September 11, 2009 at 8:09 AMIt’s good advise to stop thinking about what you don’t want and envision the future you want.
Katie says
September 13, 2009 at 7:01 PMHi April,
I saw this comic today and thought of you, the pioneer in Boomer Dating. Hope you are well wherever you are!
http://news.yahoo.com/comics/pearls-before-swine
Katie
April Braswell says
September 15, 2009 at 8:57 AMHi Katie,
thanks for stopping by. You are too funny! that cute lil cartoon is a riot! I love hot dogs. We definitely include hot Italian sausages for our summer and SoCal BBQs! Too HOT in Las Vegas to BBQ right now, but we might be doing that in October when it starts to cool off a bit.
April
Vick says
October 4, 2009 at 2:02 PMYes let’s start with a vision. And with what we do want seems to manifest with much happier results.
Vicki http://www.bridal-threads.com
Eva Palmer says
October 4, 2010 at 1:15 PMHi April!
This was an excellent post! Very useful because you see things from so many angles! And you think about all the possible singles out there – both single men and single women! You have an answer for every different situation and person seeking for tips to find love, even though they migth think that they havve already failed before.
Daniella Stephenson says
December 17, 2010 at 2:44 AMDating sure is different after 40 years old.
Noble Carattini says
December 30, 2010 at 4:09 PMFine reminder for senior singles, April. I got massive different desires for a relationship now. Your dating tips are great info. I’ve been watching this stuff for a while. It’s intriguing how it keeps shifting, yet some of the core factors don’t change for romantic relationships, don’t you think?
Julia says
February 25, 2011 at 5:55 PMI don’t find a lot of single guys over 60. There are lots more women there then men.
Ashlee says
March 6, 2011 at 4:09 PMYour pointers for seniors is right on target, April. I don’t want to start a family right now at this time of my life.
Deborah Channing says
April 5, 2011 at 4:57 PMPretty cool post – raises some interesting points for debate. I just stumbled upon your blog this morning and wanted to say that I have really liked browsing some of the posts. Anyways, I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I hope to read more very soon!
Marissa says
April 11, 2011 at 1:41 AMI enjoy the whole thing April. Do something to meet more men is a good idea.
Abdul says
January 31, 2012 at 10:22 PMAs we travel further and further forward in time I think all of us – both men and women – continue to lose a firm grip on what it is we actually do want.
In previous generations a house, white fence and 2.5 children was considered to be ‘the dream,’ yet people are changing and as are their objectives and goals in life.
You mentioned above that both men and women are working now and career continues to grow into a bigger and bigger factor in people’s live. Is it possible that it’s becoming harder to find ‘true love,’ today because our priorities are constatly shifting and, if we’re being honest, are mostly based on our own needs verses the needs of potential parterns?
I’d love to know what your thoughts on on this, April 🙂