Dating Coaching for Women Over 50: After 50 Singles Scene Different in Your Forties and Fifties
I’ve been receiving a number of emails from both single men and single women in the Baby Boomer category. Pretty much that is the Dating After 50 group of singles, really it is dating over 45, as well for singles dating after 60.
They feel quite often that they are sort of overlooked at social functions. Both from what I hear from clients, my own observation, and scientific research, guess what? Indeed, things are different now.
There have been studies about men being attracted to young women. There is even now the “COUGAR” category of single women in their 40s, 50s, and 60s being romantically pursued by men 15-20 years younger than they are. Just look at Ashton Kutcher’s having won Demi Moore as well as Tim Robbins pursuit, wooing and winning Susan Surandon when they met on the set of Bull Durham.
The other thing that is different over 50 is that the female and male hormones also have shifted. Men experience Andropause, a lowering of testosterone, so they are then less aggressively pursuing than they were in their 20s and early 30s. Remember how aggressively pursuing men in that age group are? Yup. It’s both delightfully flattering and just a tad off-putting.
And women are in or have had menopause. Women’s hormonal shift actually makes us more aggressive.
In order for boomer singles to notice each other and connect, they women need to remember to DRESS in youthful manner while avoiding the dreaded look of… “Mutton Dressed As Lamb.” Often a Dusty Rose color appears more youthFUL and sophisticated while a full blown bright pink azalea color can be too harsh, actually aging you. Of course, it depends on your coloring. Often a dark complected woman can wear beautiful bright colors and still look fabulous at any age. Wistful sigh. Just think of Tina Turner. Even in my 20s my legs were never as good as hers are in her 60s!
Another youthful image enhancement important as women age is to wear an uplifting bra. Yes, our bosoms sag more with age. Think of all the matronly moms in the movies from the 1930s and 40s. Their bosom profile was always where their bosom was around mid abdomin or lower. THAT is an aging look. Lift them. Wear a good bra, and I am ever a proponent of a good push-up bra. You do not have to always display plunging necklines, lol. However often that area of a woman’s body is often very attractive as we age. My personal favorite PUB is Victoria’s Secret Very Sexy Bra with Gel pads. The gel pads don’t pucker when drying after you hand wash them. Wear with a gentle scoop or Vneck top or sweater, and you instantly look more classy sexy.
For the single boomer men, at a cocktail party, distinguish yourselves from the 30 something men. Wear a jacket and tie and look your daper best. Or consider wearing a bright pink (male bright pink, still a softer shade than most women’s clothing) Ralph Lauren skirt with an ascot a la David Hemmings.
Both single boomer men and single baby boomer women need to make a more concerted effort to initiate conversation. The women are used to men pursuing them and find that their peer men are less pursuing. Approach with a soft feminine manner, soliciting his masculine assistance in something at a party, “Would you help me with this please? I cannot get it open.” or something like that. And the single boomer man needs to remember to summon up a bit more umph than he may feel at the moment to talk with women.
Tomorrow I will talk about another thing which is different over 40 for boomer dating.
Until then,
Happy Dating and Relationships!
April Braswell
As seen in Dating for Dummies, 3rd Edition
April Braswell is an expert columnist at DatingAdvice.com and speaks to singles in Singles Groups and Church Singles Ministries as well as Divorce Support Groups. Looking to Book April to speak at your Singles Event?
Yann Vernier says
April 21, 2009 at 4:42 PMSome cool and funky advice for the boomer back in the dating game. Great stuff April.
All the best,
Yann
Rob Northrup says
April 21, 2009 at 4:59 PMApril
This is great advice and I think it will help a lot of Boomers trying to re-enter the Dating Game.
Boomer Dating Secrets…
Seize the Day,
Rob
Lynn Lane says
April 21, 2009 at 5:19 PMYour advice will be a very welcome advantage to all us the baby boomers.
Lynn
Christian Haller says
April 21, 2009 at 5:29 PMMaking the best of what you have is good no matter your age. Of course, I’m not going to wear a bright pink skirt any time soon, no matter what!
Christian Haller
jc mackenzie says
April 21, 2009 at 5:58 PMIt’s interesting to me that the most common complaint I hear is that there is no one around, I’m so lonely, there are no good men/women left……and most of these people are in their 20’s and 30’s! I really like your advice in part because it seems to say BE AWARE!!!!!!!!!! Take advantage of what you have! Understand that the process is more of an ongoing campagne than a win/lose encounter.
Thanks
JC
Susan says
April 21, 2009 at 6:06 PMAs always, you have given some great pointers April.
Sue Crutcher
Don Shepherd says
April 21, 2009 at 6:29 PMApril keep the good tips coming. i might be able to deploy a few… sometime after June!
Don Shepherd
Pam Schulz says
April 21, 2009 at 6:43 PMYour boomer dating advice is, as always, thoughtful and insightful. A helpful guide, I’m sure, to many who are new to or reentering the dating world.
Great post.
Pam
Darryl Pace says
April 21, 2009 at 7:30 PMApril,
You’ve provided a good amount of useful detail in this post, which I think is needed b/c it can be tough for a boomer to get back into the dating game after a long layoff. Very good dating advice for boomers.
Darryl Pace
Fitness Product Review
Steve Chambers says
April 21, 2009 at 8:40 PMThe secret for men dating in their fifties who want to date younger women, and what man in his right mind doesn’t, is money or the perception of money. If you have it dating is never a problem. If you don’t then you simply need to scale down your expectations and go for less quality.
The funny thing is that I find there are more dating opportunities as I approach my fifties than there were in my thirties. Go figure.
Steve, The Sales Expert
mark mallen says
April 21, 2009 at 8:55 PMApril, Any bra called the “Very Sexy Bra” can’t be all bad. Especially if it does not pucker. Mark
Duane Cunningham says
April 21, 2009 at 10:45 PMHi April,
Great advice as always and I think that the boomer market is an awfully big opportunity to look after!
Duane
Mitchell Rehaume says
April 21, 2009 at 11:19 PMHi April,
I like the advice for the boomers. Look forward to tomorrow’s post.
Mitchell R
Bob Kaufer says
April 22, 2009 at 3:31 AMWhat a combination, you have great knowledge and a market with time, money and the desire.
Bob Kaufer
JJ Jalopy says
April 22, 2009 at 6:54 AMGreat tactics from the premier dating expert!
What’s the male equivalent of a cougar?
A tiger? Grrrr….
Great stuff April!
JJ Jalopy.
John Ho says
April 22, 2009 at 7:59 AMApril,
Yap, horses for courses. We need to adapt and change tactics to get what we want in life.
John Ho
Lisa McLellan says
April 23, 2009 at 9:01 AMThis is great advice for those over 50 dating boomers. I have a few friends and babysitting clients that I need to forward this too.
Lisa McLellan, Babysitting Services – Babysitters, Nannies, and Au-pairs
Pat Becker says
April 23, 2009 at 12:01 PMGreat advice, April. You give the places to find the dates and then the look to go with the pursuit. Just what a boomer needs to get started dating.
Pat
David Power says
April 24, 2009 at 6:33 PMGreat strategy for the over 50..cheers Apil you are indeed a legend!!!
David Power
UK Hypnotist
Sam says
August 8, 2010 at 8:58 AMHey Apri. I agree. I don’t think there is a recipe. Don’t LIE, and do be yourself and don’t pretend as the truth would come out sooner or later. You are so right about the truth will out. – Sam Man