Dating Expert Answers – Dating Advise for Single Women, How to Talk to Guys in a Coffee Shop
One of the questions I receive often is from single guys and single girls asking for tips and suggestions for how to talk to other cute singles whom they meet by happenstance as they go through their daily lives. “April, I’m at a coffee shop and I see a cute guy studying at another table, how do I talk to him?”
Tactics for guys are a bit different than it is for women. Single women can leverage more visuals an catch a guy’s attention visually more than single men can with women. While women do want a man to groom well and look good, scientific studies demonstrate that men are much more highly visually stimulated. So women in a manner, have quite an easy time of getting a man’s attention.
The other thing is, the more that you incorporate this behavior into your daily practice, the better. That way, if you just practice getting and being comfortable naturally flirting then when it is really important and you someone whom you’d really like to impress, you are already very smooth, polished, and poised with your flirting.
Ok, just remember this is all practice.
Flirting is just a fun mutual compliment that may lead to a date or it leads nowhere. But it what it does do is it leaves everyone feeling a wee bit sexier and confident about themselves and about their ability to interact well with the opposite sex.
Flirting Tip for Women #1: Dress to Flirt and Get Attention
OK. As I mentioned, men are highly visually stimulated. So while you don’t have to always dress your super model best every day. However whenever you go out into public to hang out for awhile, to do any shopping or eating, start to express your wonderful self-confidence and your marvelous self-esteem by dressing in a cute and attractive manner. Do get in the daily habit of wearing at least a little make up.
You might be thinking, “Why do I have to do that? I’m just dashing into the store for a few minutes.” Well, it really is true. When you least expect it like just when you are dashing into the dry cleaners you can actually meet the great love of your life whom you’ll marry. You want that you look your best when you first meet.
So what are some things you can do when you are in-person like that at a coffee shop?
Flirting Tip for Women #2: Get Up and Move Around
Make a point of getting up and passing him repeatedly. You can use any excuse available to you. Get up and walk across the room in front of his field of vision – to get a napkin, get a cup of water, get a stirrer for your coffee, to ask the coffee team a question. ANYTHING. Back and forth, back and forth until you are sure he has at least noticed you by looking up at you a few times.
Flirting Tip for Women #3: Start Conversation
To start a convo: drop your napkin. Ask him to pass you something. Ask to borrow a pen from him. ANYTHING to start a sentence exchange with him. Second sentence make some kind of open ended question about whatever book he has with him for his studies. Or his computer bag. Whatever he has with him, ask him about it.
This gives you 3 -5 sentences which you can exchange with him. When he responds warmly, you can then interject a safe comment about the coffee shop.
See? You can start some conversations and simply start flirting. If things go well, invite yourself to sit with him and study for a few minutes. If he just seems polite, thank him for the pen, and go back to your table. No harm no foul. Remember, you’re just practicing, right? Smile and enjoy your coffee to yourself.
You can even practice doing this daily with any guy you see at the coffee shop so you feel confident doing this. That way when Mr. Cutie does show up, you are then completely comfortable and confident interacting with him.
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
Dating and Relationship Expert
Bobby says
July 30, 2010 at 8:41 AMHi April, great dating tips for how to talk and get to a date
Anthony says
August 1, 2010 at 7:41 PMGreat advice. I like a direct woman who is comfortable in her skin. Someone I can connect with and who is not talking one way but giving me a whole other vibe via body language and tone of voice. Someone who is well put together but not too made up or wearing too much perfume or makeup. I like a confident woman who has a solid sense of self and who can shine despite her attire. I tend to get along best with them because we can be ourselves and connect much quicker. I’m in South FL and there are way too many phony plastic women down here who are really well dressed and really pretty but totally unattractive at the same time. It is because they are fake. Be yourself ladies and you will attract a guy who is better suited to you and save a bunch of time.
Michael D Walker says
August 3, 2010 at 10:25 AMSo, that’s why that woman kept walking past me! Actually that’s good advice.
Sometimes us guys are like dogs & need bright shiny objects moving past us a few times before we awaken from our daydreaming and notice.
Michael
The Success Secrets
Charlene says
August 12, 2010 at 7:52 PMThis dating tip for girls like me really helps April. thank you. I get so tongue in front of hunks. – CharLady
Veronica says
August 14, 2010 at 7:58 AMWhen I try to talk to a hot guy I just choke up. this helped for my social dating life. thanx April! you are a great dating expert! – Vlady
Skie says
August 19, 2010 at 6:35 PMDoes it matter how I dress for getting noticed by cute guyz at a coffee shop like Starbucks? Or can I just wear what I feel like? I don’t like shopping much and don’t really wear make up. Does it matter?
Ernie says
August 21, 2010 at 10:17 PMI enjoyed reading your dating tips blog. Keep it that way. Appreciate your single help. – EMan
kenneth says
August 28, 2010 at 2:11 PMSo, April, star bucks and other coffee shops are good for meeting singles as well as for where to go for a first date? _ KennethB
Wally says
September 1, 2010 at 4:07 PMHello!I am following your dating blog for some days now. I have to say that your dating tips for single are very interesting. I had to add it to my favorites list and I will make sure that I will follow it frequently. Thanks for the dating tips. Getting the right girl for me matters. Thanks
Eva Palmer says
September 21, 2010 at 10:25 AMHi April!
Jusdt cheking older posts that you have!
You really know all the tricks!
I like the advicce of back and forward, back and forward at the coffee shop!
Madeleine says
October 5, 2010 at 11:55 PMApril, your dating articles and singles tips are so helpful. Thank you I appreciate the info to me get a cute guys attention!
Nick says
October 6, 2010 at 7:00 AMThanks so much for your great dating tips article;this is the words for singles like me that keeps me going through out the day.
I have been looking around for this site after I heard about them from a single guy buddy and was thrilled when I was able
to find it after searching for some time. Being a avid blogger, I’m hopeful to see others taking initivative and contributing
to the singles online dating community. I just wanted to comment to show my support for your dating tips page as it’s very
challenging to do, and many writers do not get acknowledgment they deserve. I am sure I’ll be back and will spread the word to my friends.
Ursela says
October 6, 2010 at 3:17 PMThank April. I like these examples for how to talk to cute guys and get their attention in public.
Carlton says
October 8, 2010 at 3:06 PMThanks April for this great relationship tip for singles. I am sure I’ll drop by your dating blog again and will recommend to my friends.
Cassie P says
October 9, 2010 at 9:03 AMHi! Wanted to let you know that this Dating Expert tip for women really hit home. Thanks for it. Will follow this when getting my coffee now.
Earl says
October 9, 2010 at 10:49 PMHands down, April your dating tips win by a mile. It’s a huge help to single men and women to find love.
Tania Randy says
October 13, 2010 at 4:45 AMoh April, these are really great dating tips. I like this idea about catch a guy’s attention at the gourmet coffee shops.
Bettina says
October 13, 2010 at 10:10 PMApril this dating tip is great because I’m always seeing cute guys at Starbucks and don’t know what to do to get things started with them.