In my email bag this week, one young woman asked, “April, there’s this guy who I met online. I want to meet him. And he wants to meet me. After we meet, how should I ask him for his phone number? I don’t want to appear desperate or anything. Because I’m not.”
What a great question. Indeed, the whole phone number exchange etiquette still has some protocol even in the 21st century.
A lot of single women really prefer it when a man asks them for their phone number first. We see this as a sign of his masculine interest in us and a demonstration of his masculine pursuit. It really is true, especially of men under 50 years old or so that they are hormonally wired and programmed to be aggressive and pursue women.
When men and women first meet in-person, the man who is interested in a woman always does introduce himself and asks her for her phone number. Frankly, if he doesn’t ask you for your phone number when that is how you two have first met, he’s not that interested in you.
However, now that it’s the 21st century and as Match.com’s recent research shows, 1 in 5 relationship starts online. You two “meet” online.
So many of the romantic body language demonstrations of interest are a bit different.
Additionally many single guys and single women under the age of 30 years old or so are tremendously used to texting. And texting breeds exchange of very short text messages. It does not mimic real in-person conversations. It can be quite brief and border on being terse.
Often 1 person texts a phrase, thought, or sentence, and doesn’t get a reply for hours. Sometimes texting conversations can be misunderstood. It’s great for quick exchange of information, but texting is not conducive for the communication necessary for relationship building.
When you two have met online, it is best to exchange phone numbers, often a personal cell phone number, prior to meeting F2F. You want to exchange phone numbers because things can happen before you meet.
There’s an accident on the freeway and you’re going to be 10 minutes late. You’re there are the location but for some reason you two are not seeing each other. You’re at the front entrance, he’s at the back entrance. Having each others’ cell numbers covers you.
Again, here is where women prefer that the man ask for her cell number first. However, if you two have agreed to a first meeting date and are working out the logistics and he still has not yet asked you for your phone number, ask him for his. Just use a simple phrase inserted in your email exchange, “Oh, and what’s your phone number?”
Wait until he gives you his phone number and then reply with yours.
That’s one simple and easy way to exchange phone numbers.
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
Dating and Relationship Expert
Harlan says
July 26, 2010 at 11:44 AMHi April, thanks. this really helps when it comes to really talking up a girl – HMan
Lester in Kenya says
July 28, 2010 at 9:53 PMThe phone number I received 1 st when I was not very old. Asking for phone number is required in dating. Thanks April
Michael D Walker says
July 29, 2010 at 9:49 PMAs usual, solid advice, April!
Took me a moment to figure out what F2F means (face to face) 🙂
From a guy’s perspective, I can offer that it’s not hard to forget to ask for a phone number when you’ve met online. So, if a woman were to ask for my number in case something came up before the date, that is a very low pressure way to get the phone number.
Michael
The Success Secrets
Hezron says
August 1, 2010 at 3:35 PMThe way I see it, women want men to give them their number to see if it WORTH’s the woman’s time….
If a woman wants something….ASK FOR HIS NUMBER. Take some initiative, single women. They can’t simply sit there hoping “prince charming” lands in their lap….
Anthony says
August 1, 2010 at 7:28 PMJust ask baby! No need for nerves or fanfare! It’s just that simple! Especially if there are plans made because as Dating Expert April said, it is necessary in case something comes up.
Anthony
sandy says
August 2, 2010 at 1:59 PMApril, thank you for the encoragement to talk to guys
koster says
August 4, 2010 at 3:48 PMI would like to thank you for your dating site and advice, April Is finding love online like this possible?
Julia G. says
August 19, 2010 at 1:31 AMNice post! But what men want women to know- Julia G
Skyee says
August 19, 2010 at 6:32 PMCertainly dressing in a feminine manner and talking to a guy like that like a girl must really help for his giving his phone number and asking you out on a date. A cute way to dress with style is to wear a short skirt, white fabric gives the feeling of noble princess, waist belt is a fine finishing touch. This white dress is that it asked for the body is very low.
Desiree says
August 27, 2010 at 5:20 AMthanks for the awesome blog post and dating tips for coffee shop suggestions! subscribed!will surely vist this dating tips blog again – DLady
Deidre says
December 16, 2010 at 7:13 PMHi April,
oh I like that. I agree. guyz need to ask for my number and call not just text.
Talisha says
February 15, 2011 at 10:40 PMHey April, now do I want to ask a single guy for his number or is it best for me to slip him my number scrawled onto a bar napkin? I’ve heard it both ways. What is the right thing to do?
Cathy Feuerstein says
February 18, 2011 at 6:27 AMI feel weird when a guy online makes all the arrangements to meet for a first date but never asks me for my phone number. I don’t get it. Why are they like that? Is that a sign he’s too lazy to date?
Gail says
February 18, 2011 at 8:12 AMApril thank you for sharing as a dating expert in such detailed steps to succeed with men. It’s a really big helper.
Martha says
February 18, 2011 at 2:47 PMHey April, I was planning your style is faster then me. I feel awkward with a card just giving that to a guy. Feels a little bold for me.
Lauren Durcham says
February 22, 2011 at 9:58 PMYour tips are excellent for both single men and women like me, April. I’m hoping you can help me. I’ve been online at the free sites like PlentyofFish. But I find that the single guys there just aren’t serious. What do you take of it?
Evanna Gorden says
February 23, 2011 at 6:28 AMYour reminder is good, April. I’m here in Los Angeles, also. I find most men here are either actors… or what? lazy? Like they are too busy to pursue women? Is this normal here? I’m not used to such lazy men like that.
Jana says
February 23, 2011 at 7:43 PMWe’re a group of volunteers and starting a fresh initiative in our neighborhood. Your reminder to make it a smooth transition with giving a guy your phone number after you finally meet really helps us out with dating better.
Alice Catinella says
February 24, 2011 at 4:15 PMCan I just say what a relief to find someone who actually knows what they’re truly talking about with internet dating. You definitely know how to bring an issue to light and make it clear what men and women can do to make the first meeting easier and more comfortable. You definitely have the gift with expert and great writing April. thank you for sharing your tips.
Edward says
February 24, 2011 at 4:19 PMI like this whole idea of the phone number exchange. I think I didn’t really know what women expected before.