How to Get More Dates with Men

pril Braswell, Dating Expert and Online Dating Coach shares from her treasure trove of Secrets for How to Get More Dates with Men, wherever you live as a single lady in the 21st Century. She coaches clients worldwide via Skype and her weekly Coaching Club membership.

LA’s Midlife Dating Expert, Dating Coach for Women After 40, April Braswell with Millenial Gen, Andres Ramirez at the Venetian, Las Vegas

Or in some of your cases, how to GET some dates with men, cause ya ain’t on any of them now!

So ladies, a number of my women dating coaching clients (typically women in their 40s or 50s, most of whom are divorced, or widowed like myself, although a few are “single never married” after 40 and over 50) come to me or are referred to me because, well, frankly, they haven’t been on a date in so damned long, they nearly start to try to lie to tell me when the last one was and the just crumple and confess, “Well, April to tell you the truth…. it’s been years.”  YEARS ladies.  YEARS.  Ladies, we are not getting any younger.  Our feminine pulchritude with which the Good Lord bestowed us to lore and attract men to us (you do know they are primarily visually stimulated, yes, don’t you?  Of course, I knew you did.  There IS a reason that the porn industry is a money maker.)

So, number one, let’s look in the mirror, yes, the full length one, and let’s take a look at your wardrobe.

How do you look?

Let me guess right now.  You look REALLY good as professional business woman, yes?  Your look just SCREAMS from the rooftops, “I am SO professional and competent.”

Does it communicate… sensuality?
Does it communicate…. I LOVE sex? (quelle gasp!)
Does it communicate… No, really, I LOVE sex?

I’m guessing here, again.  A resounding.. NO!  Am I wrong?  I didn’t think so.  That’s OK.  Don’t feel bad.  Refrain from feeling discouraged.  Most of my clients started out just like you, needing help in this arena as well.  It just means you’re normal and that you have room for improvement to be YOUR BEST SELF!

OK, let’s start with your underwear drawer. Open it up and pull everything out. EVERYTHING.

Are your bras sexy? Are they in PRETTY feminine colors? Are any of them sultry black? Passionately lacey red? Pretty and pink? Do you have ANY which match your knickers?

OK, and let’s be honest. How is the state of your knickers?
Are ANY of them holey? If you answer YES, please do me a favor NOW, and take the holey ones RIGHT NOW and go put them in your garbage. Now take your garbage OUT. Completely refrain from reasoning with yourself in anyway shape or form that you will make USE of them. For instance, you might be thinking to yourself, “But April, I could wear those on laundry day when I go to the laundromat….” No, you may NOT. You will be wearing some absolutely BEAUTIFUL and SEXY naughty bits to cover your sacred hoo-haa and nothing else ever again.

Breath. Imagine yourself now when some man who cherishes and adores you is looking DEEPLY into your eyes and handing you a gorgeous bouquet of 2 dozen pink Ecuadorian roses and you are wearing…. sexy naughty bits. Don’t you FEEL sexier then. Precisely. That is the whole point.

The reality is twofold.

Midlife Dating Expert for Singles After 40 and Over 50, April Braswell,

Presented on 10 Does and Don’ts for Online Dating in Philadelphia at the Hilton

One, when we have a man we truly want in our beautiful boudoir, we want and are hoping and envisioning ourselves wearing beautiful lingerie.

Two, healthy masculine men are attracted to and drawn to women who are neat, clean, and sexy. To be congruent with that image, our lingerie needs to be sexy at all times. OK, for the gym when you are wearing mulibras, they may not be your SEXIEST, but even then, they are GOOD and YOU can always add something to them to make them LOOK sexier so YOU FEEL sexy and EXUDE and EMANATE your sex appeal.

So, get thee to Victoria’s Secret. Check out Wacoal bras at Saks, Bloomingdales, and Neimans. Personally, I find wacoal better made. I want to look sexy and have a wonderfully supportive foundation garment. The silhouette of the hoisting the girls creates definition at the waist and a more youthful line. It is a matronly look when we sag. Just look at the older women in the movies from the 1930s before we had bras. Part of their looking “old” was the sagging of their bosoms. Refrain from that look!

Next.  Your WARDROBE

Put everything ON.  You may need the assistance of some of your girlfriends.  Are ANY of them in the cute, savvy, and happy daters club?  Get THOSE GFs to help you go through your wardrobe.  They will be rigorously honest with you.  “Get ride of it, darling.  It makes you look like a carpenter.”

Assess, assess, assess.

What you want to AIM for is figure enhancing, figure indicating, figure eliding, and classy sexy looks.

That is your new filter for yourself.

Anything which is not communicating, “I am classy and sexy, and I LOVE sex!” you will be getting ride of it.  Brutal?  Yes.  Work with me.  And yes, it may take time.  You may need to go through your wardrobe a few times to achieve this.  But then you will have more space for all your dear new goodies.