Tips Over 40 single to expand your circle of friends to older men in their forties and fifties
For the singles in their 40s and 50s, in general, if you are At Home, you are in the Wrong Place. Yes, of course, there’s internet dating, but don’t let you online social net be an excuse for you to remain a homebody if you want a life partner and possibly to get married. Whether you are a Single Parent, Jewish Singles, or Christian Single, you gotta make a concerted effort to meet new people and get out of the rut of isolating and staying at home all the time.
You must make a concerted effort to stretch your social circle and meet new people.
Tip 1 Attend Small Social Gatherings
Small intimate social gatherings are often the best sort of social venues in which to meet other singles over 50 and see if, indeed, you want to date each other.
Think COCKTAIL PARTY. Like Speed Dating events, you want to aim for cocktail parties that are have an attendance range of 20-50 people. This is a large enough group which will interact with each other and have enough people to make it interesting. And yet not so many people that you move about in social clique packs like back in high school and college.
Tip 2 Bring Opposite Sex Friends with You
As one who might be attending such an event, you will benefit the group when you make a concerted effort to Bring Someone New With You. Perhaps you have a single GF in from out of town, an old college chum, or fraternity brother. Bring them with you to enliven the group with Fresh New Blood. You want to avoid the small group tendency in any circle to become insular and only have the same people attending every time and each event.
Indeed, you social hostess will be grateful that he or she did not have to do all the work to make it an interesting and varied group. You helped out. Those are also good social skill sets which will enliven your romantic relationship over the many years ahead. Because once married, it’s not that you wanted to live a boring married life, did you? Probably not, or you wouldn’t be reading MY blog.
Bring your new Ashtanga Yoga instructor, a Small Business Owner, a Hypnotherapist in town presenting at the local college, a Vintage Jewelry expert, a school teacher with a theatrical background. Keep things lively and engaged. And not only will you be meeting more new people and more new single Boomers, but you will be laying the groundwork for a vital lifestyle for the long run.
Tip 3 Play Host Sometimes
The organizers of any group will be grateful that’s it’s not always the same core 4 or 5 people who perpetually organize and host the events. Make a point to host something yourself, even if it’s just a small potluck dinner to watch a few sample Oscar contender or some other movie category screenings from Redbox. Netflix is cool, but with the mail time lag, you’re stuck with what is available. The joy of Redbox is it’s just $1.75.
Mix up the movies as well as the people. Let 1 or 2 guests pick up a movie based on an agreed up list so not 100% of the responsibility is on you.
Secondarily, the whole point is to mix and mingle. Be careful to schedule enough pre-screening nibbling and mixing time. Also consider scheduling a 15 minute intermission at a certain time, with a little flux for waiting for an appropriate break in the movie to put it on pause. Note the time. And then let everyone get up and use the bathrooms, refresh their water, and revisit the potluck table.
You’ll want to be sure to devote some advance time to communicating with everyone to tie down what dish each person is bringing to ensure variety and not all desserts and green salads. When you phone each person, it also gives you a chance to become better acquainted with that person, share some dating tips on anything newly discovered to work well locally, and to expand your friendships. With some, see if you can schedule a coffee connection between friends to stretch your socializing. When you do, pick some classy joint that’s still down-to-earth and you just might meet or get to flirt with others while sipping your coffee!
By interweaving all three of these tips, single men and women over 40 and 50 can breath new life into your social lives. Fill up your social dance card, flex those flirting and socializing muscles, and soon be going on more dates with new singles near where you live.
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
As seen in Dating for Dummies, 3rd Edition
April Braswell is an expert columnist at DatingAdvice.com and speaks to singles in Singles Groups and Church Singles Ministries as well as Divorce Support Groups. Looking to Book April to speak at your Singles Event?
Duane Cunningham says
April 23, 2009 at 8:58 PMHi April,
I like it! I always wondered why Jessica Alba never gave me the time of day! And now I realize i have to actually leave the house! Doh!
Love your advice April its awesome
Duane
Rob Northrup says
April 23, 2009 at 9:05 PMGreat advice April. I think that Internet Marketing Seminars look like a great place for boomers (esp women) to meet success oriented guys.
Duane, I had a short twitter conversation with Jessica Alba a few weeks ago about Entourage so you don’t have to leave home. Of course she looks better in person than on twitter! 🙂
Seize the Day,
Rob
mark mallen says
April 23, 2009 at 9:24 PMApril, I have found the ideal place to meet women is in the ice cream stores. Women certainly love ice cream. Not that it does me much good lately with all the internet work I need to do. Mark
Mesha Casper says
April 23, 2009 at 11:26 PMI love it. Good Job. And then if you click in the grief recovery link that is so extremely packed with useful information. And you get to see her rubbing shoulders with Friedman in the flesh a real genious. It is not often you get to see a picture with two people who are genious and helpful.
John Ho says
April 24, 2009 at 2:45 AMApril,
Great tips as usual for singles to get dates.
They they might be lucky to secure a soul mate as time goes on.
John Ho
Bob Kaufer says
April 24, 2009 at 3:34 AMI am guessing this is hard for many people. Stretch the circle of comfort almost to dis comfort.
Bob Kaufer
Christian Haller says
April 24, 2009 at 3:57 AMContinuously reaching out to new people is good for sales as well as … relationships. At the end of the day, the similarities are much more than the differences.
Christian Haller
Steve Chambers says
April 24, 2009 at 7:00 AMI have found the best place to meet people is anywhere but sitting at home.
Steve Chambers, The Sales Expert
Yann Vernier says
April 24, 2009 at 8:55 AMThis sounds like fun. Great advice, sitting at home is the worst place to be for anyone in the dating game looking at meeting people and expanding their comfort zone.
All the best,
Yann
Lynn Lane says
April 24, 2009 at 9:52 AMSetting at home is a safe place, but not the place to meet people for sure.
I like the cocktail party idea.
Lynn LAne
Philip Graves says
April 24, 2009 at 10:41 AMAs ever you illustrate the power of having an expert really thinking through an issue. Your dating advice is so wonderfully pragmatic, and it’s exactly what’s needed when people get stuck in a rut and need some inspiration.
Philip Graves
Beyond Consumer Research
Sonya Lenzo says
April 24, 2009 at 2:21 PMHey Mark, good plan, I would like to meet a guy in an ice cream store! Now that would be a man of my dreams. Maybe you could hold speed dating there. April I am volunteering at the ART CRAWL tonight.
Also, really enjoying the Frief REcovery book.
SunnyMarie
JJ Jalopy says
April 24, 2009 at 2:36 PMYou’re so creative with these ideas.
I like the way you encourage people to get out there.
JJ Jalopy.
Pam Schulz says
April 24, 2009 at 4:01 PMWhat a great wealth of dating advice you have to offer boomers. It’s hard sometimes to get out of our comfort zone. I’m guessing for many, it’s easier just to stay home – and of course complain that they never meet anyone.
Pam
Lisa McLellan says
April 24, 2009 at 6:22 PMWhy do I love your blog posts so much? There are a few on here that I really look forward to reading everyday and yours is definitely one of them!!!! “if you’re at home, you’re in the wrong place!” Love that line. You are awesome! You tell ’em April. That’s right ladies and gentlemen, get out and go on dates, a babysitter is just a click away!!! LOL
Lisa McLellan, Babysitting Services – Babysitters, Nannies, and Au-pairs
David Power says
April 24, 2009 at 6:08 PMApril you should be on Tv we would love you over here on a early morning chat show…your advice is superb!!!
David Power
Darryl Pace says
April 25, 2009 at 5:54 AMGreat advice that is, as you intimated, applicable over the long run — both while single and after getting marriage.
Health, Fitness — Darryl Pace
Mitchell Rehaume says
April 25, 2009 at 8:58 AMHi April,
Good post. Another place I would recommend for Boomers is taking dance lessons. Great way to meet new people and to work on their non-verbal body language. For Men it should help them develop presence in front of females too!
Mitch
Pat Becker says
April 26, 2009 at 6:22 PMA little bit of light humor and you get your point across. So I have to leave home? What a concept.
Pat
April Braswell says
May 2, 2009 at 12:20 AMSo glad you ordered the Grief Recovery Handbook and are enjoying reading and doing the Action Plan within it. I’d love to hear your thoughts and feelings at the end.
Best regards,
April Braswell