As a leading dating expert with perhaps the most unusual background (having been widowed), I get a lot of messages from single guys wanting dating advice on how to date women, how to ask girls out, and how to make a great first date. Single guys want to know what to say and do to make the first date such a success that yes, their date wants to see them again.
What are some great first date tips for guys?
First Date Success Tip for Guys – #1. Have a Plan
First, guys, have a plan. Making a first date great really starts before the day of the actual date. Making a first date with you a wonderful experience begins even before you ask the girl out on date. When you ask her out, you didn’t just say, “Hey wanna get together some time?” Instead, for successful dating, single girls and women really love it when the guy asks them out for date with a plan.
So, instead of a nebulous undefined asking her out, what positions you head and shoulders above the other singles guys is you ask her out for a specific date. “I want to take you on date. How is Saturday night at 7 o’clock? We can grab a bit to eat before heading over to the salsa club for the class and dancing.”
See what I mean? Now she has something to respond to. The salsa dancing could be any activity which you two were chatting about or interest she expressed while you talking.
First Date Success Tip for Guys – #2. Share an Activity
First dates and early dates in a romantic relationship, it is great if you can suggest and plan for a shared activity. Having shared activity to pursue together gives you both safe topics for conversation. You don’t need to share about your prior dating relationships. Nor do you need to go into explanations and details about your divorce as well as more bonding occurs when you do an activity together. You also are being gracious and giving her something she can casually talk with you about – the shared activity. This way she doesn’t start to treat you like all of her girlfriends and do too much girl talk before you two know each other better.
First Date Success Tip for Guys – #3. Keep It Brief
First dates are just about becoming a little bit better acquainted. It is only in the Hollywood movies that they are half day gab fests. Even if the rapport you two create is amazing, refrain from trying to elongate the first date to go past a few hours. The gauge you want to use is to have the first date be 2-3 hours. Yes, if you’re at a dance club it is ok that it becomes closer to 4 hours. Afterall, you two are not chatting the entire 4 hours. You are dancing with others periodically. However, you want to leave enough mystery and interest to have a reason for a second date. Keeping the first date short and fun helps you to win the right to ask her on a second date!
Special First Date Tip Note: If this is a first meeting date from having met at an online dating site, then my recommendation is for a shorter date.
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
Rob Northrup says
April 20, 2010 at 3:41 AMAmazing how often having a plan comes up in life as good advice.
You are right, having a plan for a first date makes it much more likely to be fun and enjoyable, and therefore successful. As you say, this first date needs to offer the opportunity to get to know each other a little better and see whether there is a basis for the relationship to progress further. So, planning something that you don’t get trapped if things aren’t working out is also important.
Rob
Howard says
April 20, 2010 at 4:13 AMHi April, your first date tips for guys is very helpful. I grasped immediately and understand the essence for dating.
Michael D Walker says
April 20, 2010 at 4:35 AMExcellent advice!
I’ve found that asking with specific information on what you want to do on the date makes a world of difference because even if she doesn’t want to go to the event I was thinking of taking her to….she’s quite likely to counter offer with something she does want to do if she’s free that night.
I also think you should use humor carefully here because some women are not amused when you ask them to go to the cat juggling class on Saturday night even if you offer to pay for their protective eye wear, wrist gauntlets & other safety equipment. 🙂
Michael
The Success Secrets
Sonya Lenzo says
April 20, 2010 at 4:48 AMYou are right on here. Most guys don’t plan anything for a first date…they just plan on how to GET the date…
very good advice!
Sonya Lenzo
Tim Van Milligan says
April 20, 2010 at 7:40 AMThanks for the tips. The first date would be pretty critical, for both the man and the woman. Keeping it short lessens the chances of things going wrong.
Tim Van Milligan. Helping you Make Money Online, God’s Way!
Robert Kaufer says
April 20, 2010 at 8:14 AMSeems kind of intuitive but maybe not. This would make for a good first date.
Thanks
Robert Kaufer
Mark says
April 20, 2010 at 11:01 AMApril… I appreciate you dispelling the hollywood illusion where a budding new couple go on a date that seems to span a week in the film… very unrealistic and un-necessary! Keep it short, see if there is chemistry before investing too much time up front… if she is the right one… you will have your whole life to spend time together!
Mark
Direct Selling Advice, Leveraging Relationships for Long-term Profit
Shane Kester says
April 21, 2010 at 12:55 PMExcellent advise as usual. Where were you when I was in collage? Probably in college yourself…
Shane Kester
Lisa McLellan says
April 24, 2010 at 1:48 PMGreat tips. I like the idea of leaving a little mystery. What fun would it be to go out again if you know the guy inside and out after the first date?
And I love the “have a plan” suggestion. When I was (young and) dating, I hated when guys would ask me what I wanted to do. I know they were trying to be thoughtful, but I would’ve preferred them to have had it all planned out. At least if they didn’t want to totally take charge, a choice of two ideas would be much better than “what do you want to do?”
The problem I had with it was mostly that I had no idea what the guy’s budget was. Did he have money on him for dinner and dancing or was he thinking more like pizza and a movie. Hopefully lots of single guys read your blog!
Lisa McLellan
Babysitting Services, Nanny Services, and Nanny agencies
Sabrina Peterson says
April 24, 2010 at 10:46 PMThis is good stuff April.
Here’s my first date tip: DO NOT take your date to see a movie. And girls, DO NOT accept if the guy asks you to go to a movie on a first date.
Sabrina Peterson, NASM CPT,CES
Corrective Exercise for Every Body
Barbra Baxtor says
April 25, 2010 at 8:25 AMHi April, Would it be alright if I point to your dating blog, from my website? I’m wanting to source as many sources of info as I can to help singles like myself.
Jordan Trickel says
December 16, 2010 at 7:05 PMI enjoy professionals that blog with great dating tips like this, April, it’s definitely really tough to receive that forms of knowledge just about every other way. Remarkable work. I appreciate your advice.
Daphne Sprole says
December 16, 2010 at 7:56 PMI really love it when a man stands for me and opens the door me. Great first date behavior!
Mario C says
December 16, 2010 at 11:09 PMApril your dating tips for guys are great. Do we need to bring a gift for girls to like us?
Sharon says
March 19, 2011 at 3:44 PMWhat about who pays? Should I be offering to split the bill and go dutch with guys?
Rob Dally says
March 28, 2011 at 2:20 PMThis would be so useful for other single men like me, too.