Midlife Dating Expert Advice for Single Women to Meet More Men Today

April 13, 2010 / April Braswell / 55 Comments

Now that you met at least 6 new people while getting your coffee yesterday morning, it is time to think of how to use your lunchtime strategically.  Even if you brown bag it, you can meet others. However, I want you to manage your personal budget to where you eat lunch out at least once per week.  This is part of your social budget for those of you who do the goal and the desire to get married.  If you want to get married, then like everything else in life, it takes an investment of yourself, your time, your energy, your best self, your skill sets, and earmarked budgetary funds.

Eat Lunch Out on Fridays

Fridays are often the busiest day when the most people at corporate offices eat lunch out.  If you are in a Business Park sort of area, Friday lunches out make the best use of the Law of Large Numbers.  If you only go out to lunch once a week, you want to have the Law of Large Numbers on your side.  Now, who is your target ideal prospect for a relationship?  As single women, we require men who are financially stable, and frankly a lot of the single men want that in their romantic partner, too.   There are two groups I’m going to profile for you to test the waters with for you.

Aiming to Meet Single Business Men?

If you are a business woman, a business executive yourself sometimes you mesh best with another corporate business type of a person.  In that case, simply go to one of the restaurants near where you work and eat lunch there.

Maximize Opportunities to Chat with Others By Sitting Up at the Bar

First, to maximize the opportunities to meet others and interact with them casually, do sit at the little tables up by the Bar area of the restaurant.  The booths and tables are too far apart typically to allow for casually meeting others.  If your restaurant has small tables next to each other, you can still manage to cross the divide and start short little conversations.

You can experiment with 2 approaches to have some variety over who you meet:

Dating Tip Strategy #1:  Go with a Girlfriend

Going with another girlfriend means you will have conversation and people will see you being lively and engaging as well as see your good listening skills behavior.  Often with the two of you just chatting happily, you can find little ways to engage the people next to you in your conversation.  “My friend was just stating an opinion on X.  She thinks X about X.  I think Z about X.  We want a MAN’s opinion!  What do you think?” Turn, look them in the eye, SMILE, and WAIT for his response. Sit in silence smiling expectantly at him until he speaks.

Dating Tip Strategy #2:  Go Alone

Often men retell that they feel more comfortable just casually chatting with a woman who is alone than in approaching a woman who is with other girlfriends.  You might not think this is really that big a deal.  But to single guys, it really is.  This is known as “The Approach.” In Sales Speak, it is “The Engagement.” When they risk approaching and talking to a girl, they are afraid not only of being shot down, and rudely.  But even more so, they are deathly afraid of a girl then turning to her girlfriends, ridiculing him to her friends, and laughing at him behind his back.  Imagine a cluster of girls, leaning their heads in toward each other, hands of over mouths, pointing, and giggling.  That is like The Worst to a guy.  By your sitting alone, you remove that deathly fear for him.

Happy Dating and Relationships,

April Braswell

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April Braswell

April Braswell is internationally recognized as America's Midlife Dating and Relationship Mentor and the award winning expert columnist at DatingAdvice.com. Bringing over 40 years of Sales and Marketing expertise, April is a the trusted Small Business Consultant and Coach to Leading Executives and Emerging Leaders. Author of best seller, Get Swipe Right. April coaches marriage-minded men and women to find and attract love, your best life partner. Life Love Love relationship. Love after 40 and 50. Photos appear by licenses with iStock. All rights reserved.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. You are so right! I also found that airport lounges were packed with single men on Fridays. They were stuck in the airport waiting for flights that were delayed! Single women who truly want to get married need to realize that the Law of Large Numbers works in their favor but that they only need to meet ONE great guy for it to have been worth the effort.
    Sonya Lenzo♥

  2. And if you are in a restaurant with a sports bar, then eating in the “bar area” with the big screen TVs gives you something to talk about if you are at all into sports. They usually have FoxNews or CNN or CNBC up as well so you can discuss news, the financial markets, etc. with short little comments. (Plus that way you can scare off all the socialist men 🙂 )

    Seize the Day,
    Rob

  3. April, I like your advice with only the two options… I was thinking if a third option of going “in a group” would be viable… but as I considered what you said about the appearance of all the ladies then talking gossiping about the exchange, it may turn some guys off… the other two are definitely safer plays!… guess that is why you are the EXPERT! Awesome post!

    Mark

  5. I agree. But I always found that when I guy has confidence to approach a girl that is with her friends it show he has confience…yes/no?

  6. April,

    I love the term “social budget”. I also like the idea to go out to lunch on Fridays while saving your money the rest of the week.

    I would never ridicule a man who approached me. I appreciate the confidence it takes to approach a woman. Even if I wasn’t interested I’d still be nice.

    Sabrina Peterson, NASM CPT, CES
    Fat Burning Home Workouts

  7. April,

    Great points! I showed your post to a single friend of mine and she came back with a few questions that I’m going to pass on to you….

    what if the girl is a bit shy? how can she overcome her own shyness and go out and eat alone, and then make small talk with a guy? Also how can she know before hand if the man is already married or not? has a girlfriend or not? Are there any telltale signs to help the shy, introvert single woman who also doesn’t want to make a fool of herself?

    Thanks for the great tips,
    Eileen O’Neill

  8. The tip about going to lunch with a girlfriend brought up this thought in my mind. I would recommend turning off the cell phone during lunch. You don’t want the prospective guy seeing you chat on the phone when you’re eating lunch with another person, even if it is another woman. That only shows that you’ll do the same thing when a real date is present, which is only a sign of disrespect.

    Tim Van Milligan, helping you Make Money Online, God’s Way!

  9. Great post as usual April. People come out of the woodwork on Fridays and it’s best to show up with another girlfriend or alone…don’t want any misunderstanding about who the extra guy is!
    As an expert in the field, is there any truth for a man being seen with an attractive woman as being perceived as more of a catch? Even though they are not together just appearing together makes a difference?

    Thanks
    Jen Battaglino
    The Harwood Group – Tinnitus, Chronic Illness, Fears, and Anxiety

  10. April, it is interesting to me all the things that single people have to do to find some one. I am one of the fortunate ones my wife caught me when we were teenagers and it worked. I hope I do not need your advice but I am glad you are there to help those in need you provide a valuable service.

  11. Thanks for sharing the tips. If I were a guy, I can’t imagine walking up to two women eating lunch (for the reasons you mention in #2), but I have had it happen when I have been out with a very attractive friend of mine. If you mix it up, perhaps you will meet different people, even if the crowd is made up of the same men every time!

    Michelle

  12. As always you give great advice.

    It is true that most guys I know won’t approach a group of women to talk to just one of them. Being the contrarian noble fool that I am, oddly enough it’s always worked out amazingly well for me.

    If the woman I was initially interested in didn’t share an interest in me, I almost always have had one of the other women approach me as they were leaving & ask for my number or if I would be returning to that location another day.

    Maybe the confidence thing impressed her?

    Michael

    The Success Secrets

  14. I agree! Go alone after work on a Friday to have a drink at a local hangout where business men frequent. I love a handsome man in a suit!

  16. April,

    Based on all you write, I am learning that if you want to be successful in dating as in anything you really have to have a plan and work at it.

    Robert Kaufer

  17. Wow April, do you mean to tell me that you actually have to get out and do something to meet people? Great advice. Easy advice.

    Shane Kester

  18. Oh boy, this reminds me of when I was just 20 years old and very naive, I worked in Boston at a big insurance company. I was eating lunch in the cafetaria one day (which was open to the public). I was sitting by myself and there were empty tables all around me. This guy came over and asked if I minded if he sat there. I looked around at all the empty tables and was ticked off that he wanted to sit at mine, not realizing that he wanted to meet me. So I looked around at all the other tables then looked at him at said sure in a not so pleasant voice. I quickly finished my lunch and left. He must’ve thought I was a Witch with a B! THat was so bad. Poor guy.

    Lisa McLellan
    Babysitting Services, Nanny Services, and Nanny agencies

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