You ARE at Myspace, the Online Pick Up Joint, Yes?

[Note: 2009, I love to keep this early article of mine up and available online twofold. First, to demonstrate how the internet dating industry changes to rapidly. Secondarily, the idea of being findable at a number of different online venues remains applicable.

2017: Back when I originally wrote this article, I knew a number of slightly younger women, then in their early-mid 30s who had met and at least dated men via having met at MySpace. Now, the approach too many men make at FB, Meetup, Twitter, and IG is so cheesy. I think they all read the same MGTOW/PUA’s ebook about approaching women and making her do all the work. Um, that’s just annoying. She might respond politely initially, but if you don’t make some effort and aim to meet her with a fairly short period of time and pick up the bill at least for her coffee and a muffin, you’ll be wasting your time.]

To keep your pipeline full, you are positioning yourself to meet LOTS of men, yes?

So, naturally, you are ONLINE.

Yahoo Personals

Match.com

Lavalife

Eharmony

But, are you at Myspace.com and Facebook?

Now, if you are under 32, you probably are laughing at me and saying, “Yeah, duh?! Of COURSE I am! I registered myself when I was 3 years old, OK?” Right. But the rest of us are NOT part of the Facebook and Myspace generation. We need to think like them and getteth thyself to Facebook and MySpace and register. Then go online periodically, let yourself be SEEN as being ONLINE and, trust me, you did put up GOOD pix, right? Good. You WILL get men approaching you. Now, they can be 10 year older, 20 years younger, some want to invite you to adult events that are not at all what you’re looking for, but just keep weeding through them, and some just want to “hang” with you online and exchange a few emails.

But some will ask you out. MEET THEM. Just like with all OTHER online meeting, meet in a SAFE very public place. Only give our a cell number. Arrange to meet safely near where the woman lives or works. Somewhere that is convenient for her.

Now one of the joys of these social networking websites, and yes, online personals are indeed a specific subset of social networking sites, just go take a look at ChristianCafe. The message board is fab. But you can get totally caught up in the penpals aspect of it. I find at the bigger websites where we actually have a profile posted that men will exchange a few emails, let us say 3-5, and ask a lady out.

“The Rules for Online Dating” which is a marvelous and fantastic book about applying “The Rules” in the singles sphere of internet dating, well, it is already a few years out of date of the modes of online behaviour indeed recommends to allow only 3 emails and then expect him to ask you out. And if not by 3 emails, they are a time waster and move on.

Wellllll, I am not quite so strict as that. With the major online dating sites, where we have a lot of information about them already, I’d say, generally 3-5 emails. I’m not giving you hard and fast rules. I’m providing you with guidelines for your dating behavior. Now, let us NOT make a religion out of this. If there an innnnteresting man emailing with you and he’s just a little slow, well, I would write major paragraphs to him, but I would recommend allowing a few more emails to see if he asks you out.

OK, and another thing. None of these LENGTHY, share my heart, my life, and my soul email exchanges. Short. A few sentences. A few paragraphs. If he wants to really get to know you, HE NEEDS TO ASK YOU OUT ON A DATE.

Single guys, do take note. This is what single women are expecting in your behavior at online dating sites. She is looking for a demonstration of your ability to engage in small talk as evidenced in your email exchange with her. When your internet dating emails are 2-4 words long in every single message to her, she may just simply stop emailing with you and never get to the first date because you didn’t make it over the first hurdle.

“But APRIL!?,” you say…. well. More later.