Over 50 Dating Tips: Where to Find Mature Singles Locally

One of the questions that comes up when I lead internet dating workshop in the offline (live, in person, and interactive) world is where are all the attractive and available over 50 and even early 60s single men and women?  Certainly single men and women joke in person about reading people’s online dating profiles citing that they are 61 but looking to date someone as young as 20 years younger than they are.  Both men and women.  Whether you want to consider this to be “Dirty Old Men” or jibe about “Cougar Dating,” this is the 21st century and a lot of the former social taboos about age differences in serious relationships have gone by the wayside.  I find that refreshing and generally a good thing.  Because then people can open themselves up better to looking for and finding a serious lasting love relationship based upon real attraction, caring, shared values, and aligned lives.  Not based on the number on their birth certificate or the number of candles on their birthday cake.

However, the same dilemma which many of the single never marrieds face in their 30s, “Where are all the quality singles?” is the same dilemma which mature singles over 40, over 50, and over 60 encounter.  “Where are all the quality available singles around my own age?”

Just as singles in their 30s actually must go out and seek out establishing a social life and finding appropriate social venues to meet singles in their social peer age group, so the singles looking to date after 40, 50, and 60 must do so as well.  Additionally, yes, over time, there are fewer singles in your precise age group and demographic.  Which is one of the reasons to loosen up what might be your strict search criteria.  Could he be a few years younger than you?  Really?  Couldn’t he be?  You like baseball, she likes hockey.  Well at least you two both enjoy sports and can engage in conversations about your sports at different times of the year.

With it being baseball season’s World Series 2011 at the time of my writing this, that means you just have a wonderful opportunity to go watch the games at a Sport Bar.  Now, I received questions from some very attractive mature single women in their late 40s and into the 50s about which sports bars to go to where they would at the same time meet men in their 50s and 60s.  There isn’t exactly 1 Hot Over 50 Singles Bar precisely in any metropolitan area.  The market is just different.

However, what you can do is start to place yourself at the Sports Bars which are more of a locally owned and operated venue like Huntington Beach’s Fitzgerald’s and Las Vegas Local’s favorite BBQ joint, Ellis Island.  You will encounter some folks in the 30s, their 40s, their 50s, and their 60s at cool local bars like Fitzgerald’s.  But it’s likely not going to be like when were in our 20s and early 30s where we go to a bar or dance club on a Saturday night, and come home with several phone numbers, squealing about the cute guy we just met and hoping he really does ask us out next week.

When you go to a local watering hole, you want to dress attractively while yet casually (think blue jeans with a nicer top than usual, and this goes for both men and women).  Have as your goal not “to meet THE one for me” which would just put way too much pressure on yourself as well as on the folks there.  Instead, take “I want to meet 3 new people and converse with them.  And just maybe 1 of them will be single and about my age, too.”  Just open things up socially and comfortably.

Tomorrow, I will address the importance of repeated exposure and how to do that well strategically.  That way you avoid wasting your time at places for ages that don’t fit well while at the same time not cutting yourself off socially just before the social payoff.  Check back again tomorrow.  In the meantime, thank you for contributing your comments, and sharing this over at Facebook with your friends.  Tell me, what are some of your favorite local places to have a drink and watch a sports game?  If you’re in Australia or the UK, it might be your local pub.  Do chime in and share about them here.

Happy Dating and Relationships,

April Braswell

Dating and Relationship Expert

As seen in Dating for Dummies, 3rd Edition

April Braswell speaks to singles in Singles Groups and Divorce Recovery Groups as well as at Singles Dating Workshops and Singles Conferences.  Looking to Hire April to speak at your Singles Event?