Midlifers Over 40, 45, 50: Bust Cougar Dating Myths
Debunking Cougar Dating Myths About Older Woman/Younger Man Marriages
As Cougar Dating becomes more mainstream with glamorous real-life examples from Hollywood of forties, fifties, and sixties alluring women Demi Moore, Susan Sarandon, and Goldie Hawn, here are some of the Dating Myths about Younger Men dating Older Women which still linger in our popular culture.
Cougar Dating Myth #1. They only want one thing
The sexual chemistry which can exist between younger men and their older women counterparts cannot be denied. However, the truth is, many younger men who pursue older women are not just looking for a one night stand or weekend fling. Truth bears out that they are seeking relationships of a more lasting nature.
Cougar Dating Myth #2. Those relationships are so short lived
The relationships are not just weekend or one month flinglettes. Many of the Older Women Younger Men relationships pursuing Cougar Dating are quite long lived, whether they are life partners or become married couples. 2 example couples, one Bay Area, one Los Angeles, have been married 10 years and life partnered for 6 years respectively.
Cougar Dating Myth #3. Those Cougar Women Are So Aggressive
Often it is the younger man who has her in his sights, wants her for a relationship and actively pursues her. Frequently the younger man must make an additional pitch to help the single boomer woman to over come her own prejudices, judgments, and beliefs sufficient to consider his romantic suit of her. Often the Boomer Women won’t date him until he first demonstrates the earnestness of his romantic interest in her. One Los Angeles area Cougar Love couple, they met while the two were on a work project together. He pursued her having to make his case for over 1 year before she would consider dating him. Indeed, this Christmas they’ll be celebrating 7 years together.
Cougar Dating Myth #4. Tacky and Sordid
Initially the label “Cougar” was affixed to tackily dressed women who prowled singles bars in some sordid manner. But was that label ever even really expressive of actual life? Many of the Cougar Women are quite smart, classy, and attractive women of varying social classes.
Cougar Dating Myth #5. The Men Must Be Unattractive and Hard Up
The counterpart myth to the Cougar Dating Myth that the women must be overly aggressive or tacky in some manner is the belief then that the young man must be hard up somehow. Surely he is not attractive. Not only is that highly prejudicial and biases that men would only be attracted to women their own age or younger. But it is simply not true. In both the case of the Northern Californian and Southern Californian couples cited, the young man was very attractive for what women find attractive. While neither has the hyperpolished fashion image of GQ, both possessed more rugged masculine good looks combined with sterling relationship qualities and fabulous physiques. The consistency of their character and pursuit and stability. These are a combination which made these men fabulously attractive to women with mature taste wanting more than just a pretty face in man.
Having dispelled all these myths about Cougar Dating, when you venture out and onto the net for online dating, keep an open mind about the age range for your search. You just might find love online where you least expected it, in the arms of a younger man!
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
Las Vegas Baby Boomer Dating Expert
As seen in Dating for Dummies, 3rd Edition
April Braswell is an expert columnist at DatingAdvice.com and speaks to singles in Singles Groups and Church Singles Ministries as well as Divorce Support Groups. Looking to Book April to speak at your Singles Event?
Rob says
September 13, 2009 at 3:16 AMYou continue to add to good information on this topic.
Rob
Jose Escalante says
September 13, 2009 at 4:07 AMSorry ladies Im still taken…
Jose Escalante
Robert Martin says
September 13, 2009 at 6:36 AMSo if I was single, and I wanted a “cougar”, being 44 how old a women would I be looking for?
Robert Martin
April Braswell says
September 13, 2009 at 8:33 AMHi Robert,
In general it is where the woman is older. I would say more than a year older. So you would be looking for women about 49 or older. They say 50 is the new 40, and indeed, there are plenty of really vital and super sexy ladies over 50 who look fantastic and who have taken great care of themselves so their energy level is great.
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April
Steve Chambers says
September 13, 2009 at 9:14 AMVery informative post.
Steve Chambers
Business to Business Sales Training Expert
Lynn Lane says
September 13, 2009 at 12:02 PMApril,
Great information. Seems so easy for people to get the wrong ideas from popular tv, movies and the tabloids.
Hey, what do you call an older man that dates younger women?
Lynn Lane
http://www.Warriorofsuccess.com
Martin says
September 13, 2009 at 11:21 AMInteresting stuff – A good counterbalance to the stereotypical cougar stories expounded by the popular press.
Mister P. says
September 13, 2009 at 11:36 AMStill an interesting subject…
Cougar Dating for Single Boomer Women.
Bert
Terry says
September 13, 2009 at 12:27 PMApril
I agree…these women ARE smart, classy, and attractive.
Terry
Kate McKeon says
September 13, 2009 at 1:50 PMMore cougar talk! A cougar is defined as a much older woman so a 44 year old man might consider a 60 year old woman to be a cougar.
Building talent, Kate
Darryl Pace says
September 13, 2009 at 1:52 PMApril,
Interesting and insightful information. This cougar series reminds me of a guy I knew when I worked as a teenager at a grocery store. I’ve forgotten the guy’s name, but he was probably 18 years old at the time. He was a bag boy. He was in a relationship with one of the cashiers. She was probably in her late twenties or early thirties.
Health, Fitness for Working People — Darryl Pace
April Braswell says
September 13, 2009 at 4:51 PMRawwwwwwr! lol!
thanks for stopping by my blog, Gre. Sooooo, how old is Kurt? what do YOU think he finds most appealing about Cougar women?
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April
Greg says
September 13, 2009 at 3:57 PMMy friend Kurt goes for cougars.
April Braswell says
September 13, 2009 at 5:46 PMHi Katie,
Thanks for stopping by my blog from down under! I have NOT yet been to either NZ or Australia and do certainly WANT to do so! Perhaps in 2011. I feel that 2009 and 2010 have a lot of US speaking and presenting for me to do.
By 2011 sometime I can be snorkling in The Reef.
Indeed, the contrast of career and child bearing and rearing stages is part of what contributes to Cougar Love Chemistry!
Happy Dating and Relationships!
April Braswell
Anthony Lemme says
September 13, 2009 at 5:05 PMI was the target of a cougar a few years ago…lol. She was 40 and I was 35 but she thought I was 25. We hung out a few times but when she found out I was only 5 years younger she was shocked and got very upset. Apparently she only went for guys in their 20’s and due to my appearance at the time thought I was. I thought it was pretty funny and a little sad. But she clearly didn’t and felt duped. So I guess different cougars do it for different reasons. Maybe we shouldn’t call some older women with younger men cougars. The one I met definitely was but I don’t think many of the others qualify.
Anthony
Katie says
September 13, 2009 at 5:15 PMSo agree! plenty of these guys are legitimate contenders and some feel that women their age are too focused on career or the guys are not interested in having children.
, Katie
Scott Paye says
September 13, 2009 at 5:29 PMcooo cooo ca chu
Mr Robinson
Keri Eagan says
September 13, 2009 at 5:58 PMIt’s cool things are changing in the dating world. As I age there are more choices which means more control over our lives.
PS “target of a cougar” lol
Keri Eagan
Lisa McLellan says
September 13, 2009 at 10:05 PMI need to pass this Cougar dating thing on to my girlfriend. She and her friend’s brother were really attracted to each other. They had lots of fun together whenever they would see each other but the family kept making comments like “you two would be a great couple if only you were younger.”
Lisa McLellan
Babysitting Services – Babysitters and Nannies
John Ho says
September 14, 2009 at 7:48 AMIt’s always worth to clear the air. And you’ve doen so brilliantly without the help of analysing their birthdates through Numerology.
John Ho