Jewish Singles Dating Tip: Get Active in Your Community

I know I publish a lot about internet dating and do coaching and write or consult on singles’ online dating profiles.  However, since 4 out of 5 relationship start offline, and certainly living the life of a married couple will be done offline in the real world, I continually stress to singles to keep active and getting out and about off of the web as well as online.

So, if you’re a Jewish single, looking for love, I’m sure you already have a dating profile up at JDate.

Well, what are your other options?  You might almost feel like if you’re a member of the Jewish Singles group in your congregation, then you have already met absolutely all of the other Jewish singles in your area and demographic?

But have you?

How Far Will You Go to Find Love?

I know that the singles in the Los Angeles, San Diego, and Orange County areas can get high maintenance about the distance parameter they’ll consider when looking for love online.  It’s the same way in Northern California with the San Francisco Bay Area where I used to live, courted and got married.  Each metropolitan area has some variation of the same issue.

It’s all about the dating driving commute.  Most of us simply don’t want to have to drive for “too long” in order to date someone.  In many ways, that is a realistic consideration and one seriously worth your pondering.

If you live in Orange County or even the start of LA county, Long Beach, most singles simply don’t want to have to drive past downtown Los Angeles.  If you live north of downtown, you only consider singles above LA.  The 405 interchange is a traffic nightmare.  We all know that Google Maps lies when it gives you a time estimate that it will be 1 hour or less.  There’s always an accident on the 405 and it will always take 15 – 60 minutes longer than our GPS tells us when we start the drive.

But will you really let that stop you from finding lasting love?

A number of Jewish congregation have community volunteer days.  Certainly in the Orange County and San Diego areas, that will often be a “Clean Up the Beach” Day.  So go to one of those community days at a congregation a little further away from where you live or from the congregation where you’re a member.  (The Christian singles who read my articles will feel like, “hey, that sound like what April’s been telling us to…..”  Exactly! Jewish, Catholic, Christian, Hindu, Buddhist.  Whatever.  Take the strategy and apply it to your own unique situation!)

By participating in a volunteer day, doing an activity you easily, comfortably, and casually meet and mingle with a ton of people.  Yes, certainly not all of them will be single.  However, some of them will be, and really, it does just take one, one good one.

When selecting what activities you want to add to your life to increase your changes of your finding a Jewish mate, you want to select activities and events which will offer you interaction and conversation time.  Because you’ll be cleaning up the beach removing liter for a few hours, you actually have some time to more than just meet people.  You have the opportunity to become acquainted with them.  To see what interests and hobbies you have in common.  You get a feel for more than just being attracted to someone.  You have the chance to see if you like the person and might enjoy their company.

Tell the organizers when you arrive, not over the phone before you go when they haven’t even met you yet and know what a nice person you are and not a carnivorous vulcher, that you’re single and your looking.  Really, in a number of faith communities like Judaism where you want to marry within your faith and where the religion requires it, there is a lot of cultural and community support to connect eligible singles.  (You’re probably laughing by now, nodding your head, and say, “Yeah, that’s putting it lightly!  You should hear my grandmother at Thanksgiving!”)

Why Participating in a Volunteer Activity Is a Good Time Investment for You

Getting out and volunteering within a group of people where you know they will all or predominately be Jewish as well is a good investment of your personal time.  It is a potentially “target rich prospect environment” as we say in the Sales and Marketing profession.  You don’t want to just go do anything anywhere when you already know you want a Jewish mate.

How to Be Well Prepared for the Volunteer Event

Since this isn’t your own congregation, do phone ahead of time and aim to speak to who’s in charge of the event.  You don’t want to show up and find out that they’re meeting at different intersection with PCH or that the event got rescheduled to last week.

What to Check On In Advance with the Event Organizer

Find out exactly where everyone is meeting.  Tell them the congregation where you’re a member.  And ask if people typically grab a bite to eat afterwards.

Even if they don’t go grab lunch after the volunteer event, do a little research before you go or search for a nearby inexpensive restaurant on your smart phone or GPS.  Better still, this is their area,  this can be your conversation opener question to anyone and everyone at the event, “I wanted to grab lunch afterwards.  Where you do suggest?”

• If you’re an extrovert, you can likely gather a small group to get food or coffee or something afterwards.
• If you’re more of an introvert, ask just one or two people to go out afterwards and see if others will expand it to a small group.

Maybe it’ll be lunch, could be a late afternoon coffee, or an early evening burger.   Even if who you’re the most interested in doesn’t join you, it’s worth your time and money to do something so expand your social circle.

Happy Dating and Relationships,

April Braswell

Dating and Relationship Expert

As seen in Dating for Dummies, 3rd Edition