Online Dating Profile Personas of Guys: Mr. Laid Back
It could be a sign of the era of the Modern Day Male who has been taught to be sensitive.
It could be he’s a GenX or GenY backlash against the over achieving family neglecting Type A MBAs of the 1980s guys.
Or it could be a particularly California Guy personality.
Whatever it is, in his internet dating profile, often in his profile title, he describes himself primary as being “Just a Laid Back Guy.”
Well ladies, believe him.
Warning Signs in His Internet Dating Profile
What Mr. Laid Back is saying is, “I’m kinda interested in having a girlfriend where I don’t have to commit at all and I don’t have to make any effort whatsoever. I’d like her to email me first and pay to communicate with me here at the Online Dating site. But I’m not really interested in a relationship where I’d have to make any effort whatsoever. OK? Why? Because [say it with me now], ‘I’m just a laid back kinda guy.’“
Subverting Paying the Online Dating Site Membership Fees
Sometimes he’ll also strive to get around having to pay the online dating sites membership fees to join and communicate. Some creative ways the laid back guys do this is to to put their email address somehow into their dating profile. Let me ask you a question. If he won’t spend $7.95 a month to join the internet dating site, do you think he’ll pay for your cup of coffee or want to meet you somewhere classy for a first date? Yup. Sometimes I just wonder what they’re thinking when they do that.
Often in the text of the body of his profile he talks about just liking to kick back at home and watch TV on his living room couch. Well now we all enjoy doing that periodically, but that is not my idea of an actual date. He talks about “just hanging out.” or “kicking it.”
All of this is modern phraseology for he wants to hang out and watch TV and not make any effort to go out on dates or pick you up. Could you come over here? And if I added would you bring over a beer and some pizza while you’re at it, I’d just be adding hyperbole to make you laugh.
And then in his profile he says something like, “If you like me, hit me up.” Which unfortunately clearly demonstrates his misunderstanding of how to invoke attraction to a man in a woman. It displays that he thinks women start their attraction to a man the same way that men are initially attracted to a woman: 100% visually.
In fact, since I’m a certified hypnotist and have studied the brain, NLP, and CBT for over 20 years, I can tell you that the precise words we use are terribly important. The words we use on a daily basis form images and impressions in our mind and in our psyche.
When he describes himself as a “Laid Back Guy” literally the image is of a guy with sun glasses on blocking seeing his face or his eyes clearly, arms crossed over his chest and, yes, of course, leaning back at at his ease. That image communicates, “Prove it to me.”
Finding a Husband Online
The point here, ladies, is, if what you want is a significant relationship, a man who would be your life partner for the path and potentially your life mate husband in marriage, Mr. Laid Back isn’t looking for that.
Mr. Laid Back is looking to “hang out” and to “kick it.” There is nothing wrong with that if that is what you are looking for right now. However, when what you desire is a long lasting love relationship finding your Soul Mate and a husband, Mr. Laid Back is screaming to you in his advertising messages of words and images in his profile that THAT is not what he is looking for nor available for. Don’t try to change him because you “think he’s cute.”
Believe him. Let him enjoy his couch and you go look for the guys who want to get, go hiking for the day with you, and then enjoy a good meal at the end of the day where you two could share some real conversations about what you want and don’t want in a relationship. This one will likely get the door for you, smile, and flirt with you. Now that would be worth your time and worthwhile pursuing!
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
Marriage Minded Singles Dating and Relationship Expert
Clare Delaney says
June 11, 2011 at 4:20 AMLOL!
April, I just KNOW I’m going to enjoy this series of posts!
Great advice on how to interpret what the profiles reallly mean, thank you!
EcoExpert
Kevin Bettencourt says
June 11, 2011 at 3:53 PMAbsolutely thought provoking. I would think it would be equally important to show you aren’t too cheap to pay for an online site as well as stating what is important to you. Save the kicking it with your friends.
Kevin B
Persuasive sales techniques increase sales says
June 11, 2011 at 7:48 PMApril, not only is your dating advice expertly written your online dating evaluation of men’s profiles online is awesome. Your how to not make a mistake online dating series is awesome.
Scott Sylvan Bell
Persuasive sales techniques increase sales
Now go implement!
John Moulder says
June 13, 2011 at 4:08 PMAnother eye opening post April . You certainly need to analize yourself before a self description is released onto a site .
Gloria Chafe says
June 14, 2011 at 11:12 PMoh April. This really is a terrific post. Thanks a ton for talking the truth about some of the guys at the date sites. Your advice is a great guide warning women away from the “kicking it” guys. What a waste of time they are.