Online Dating Messaging Advice Texting Tip #9 Help for Singles: HEY Isn’t a Good Message
My all time nadir loathing hatedness of text messaging is when a guy who’s as yet never met you sends a text message only saying, “Hey.”
What wit!
What intellectualism!
What grandiosity of the Art of Conversation!
When his opening text message after emailing with you at a dating site and going to the trouble of asking your for your phone number and all he muster is “Hey” or “Hey Name,” women hate it.
Why do we hate it? Because you have left all the heavy lifting of making an effort to create a conversation up to us to do.
It communicates,
“Hey, you know, I thought you were beautiful and attractive, and I’m hoping to hook up with you for a first date and get to know you better, but I couldn’t think of what on earth to actually say to get the conversational ball rolling like I did in the emails with you and was too lazy and too scared to possibly risk another layer of potential rejection from you now to actually pick up the phone and want you to prove that you’re interested in me so much so when we haven’t even met yet that you’ll do all the work while I’m here on line at the check out counter I’m bored so I’m hoping you would entertain me and I wouldn’t really have to do anything because that would take more effort and touch pad typing than I felt like doing, OK?”
This texting tactic is so worn out and dreadful that women and even some men joke about it. You can use it in a joking way later once you two are regularly dating and where texting is part of the lexicon of your coupledom. Just not beforehand. There are no short cuts to creating connection and a relationship. Quality of connection and time create that. Make sure your phoning and texting foster quality connecting with your Prospective Date.
And then they wonder why that PUA Facebook Dating System and PUA Texting Tactics program they purchased that taught them to use form emails and text messaging didn’t work for them. “This internet dating stuff doesn’t work!” They think to themselves.
The more you are using the tired tactics someone else used a few years ago to get lucky, get the phone numbers of a few beautiful girls and go on a handful of dates, the more you are putting your focus, time, money, and efforts into the wrong thing. If you are all worried about tactics than you will never on some level be yourself. And it is in sharing yourself that you attract the love of another human being who drawn to your particular essence and will eventually care for you and about you while also experiencing the fun toe curling of enjoying romantic chemistry attraction as well.
I’m not going to feed you B.S. tactics that won’t work, or if they do, only briefly, and where they leave you hurting someone else and not feeling good about yourself. How could that ever build up your genuine personal confidence over time being manipulative? Instead, I’m telling you the truth and sharing strategy with periodic weaving in of tactics that work for creating relationships.
Don’t wuss out and be a wimpy guy who just says, “Hey” or “Hello” to get the texting conversational ball rolling. Instead, say something interesting, admire and compliment the woman who just blessed you with her precious personal phone number, and then man up and phone her to mutually arrange that great First Date you had in mind when you first saw her photo at the dating site, exchanged emails with her, and then asked her for her phone number to arrange it. Then go on that First Date and knock both your socks off with what great conversational rapport you two create together.
When you do so successfully, you just might get to that all important Second Date, and then who knows? You just may have started something beautiful and lasting! And isn’t that the whole reason you went online to the dating site to begin with?
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
Dating and Relationship Expert
Internet Dating and Relationship Expert
as seen in “Dating for Dummies” 3rd Edition
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Clare Delaney says
May 21, 2011 at 10:59 PMI love how you describe what “hey” communicates! LOL!
I’ve got used to hearing the phrase now (probably courtesy of Hollywood), but in my culture we tend to use “hey” only when someone’s about to steal your bag or car (it’s normally followed by some rather nasty other words), so it was initially a bit a of shock to hear it used in everyday conversation.
Now, after reading your post, I’ll have a new interpretation of the word!
EcoExpert
Bottled Water is not eco-friendly
John Moulder says
May 22, 2011 at 1:06 AMIt weeds out the nitwits pretty quickly . To receive a text with “hey” in it flags the sender as illiterate and worthy of ignore .
Sonya Lenzo says
May 22, 2011 at 3:00 AMWhen someone texts “hey”, can’t you just text back “hey yourself”?
putting the ball back in their court?????
Sonya Lenzo
Trisha Chambers says
May 22, 2011 at 10:25 AMI never liked when a man verbally called me ‘hey’ or ‘hey you’. Why would texting it be any different.
Covert Conversational Hypnosis says
May 22, 2011 at 11:34 AMNo hey?!
Oh man…I am not always the brightest bulb…
Seemed so laid back…
Covert Hypnosis and Conversational Hypnosis
Eva Palmer says
May 22, 2011 at 1:36 PMA good start with text is extremelly important!
Great tip April!
Kevin Bettencourt says
May 22, 2011 at 2:39 PMI actually can’t believe someone would text that. There are so many abbreviations I use texting as the quickest way to drop a message. Nothing says “I can’t wait till we’re together so I don’t have to try at all” better than laziness.
Neil Dhawan says
May 22, 2011 at 4:14 PMHey … HEY?!? Who the heck would text “Hey” as any part of a communication … c’mon man! Show ’em you’ve got a bit of a playful side … try, “I’m thinking of a number” and if she responds back (with any number except her telephone number) you respond back with “actually, the number I was thinking was xxx-xxxx and thought I’d try it at about 7ish” … HEY??? Good Lord, if single people are using that, they need you more than they even know April!
Dewayne Chriswell says
May 22, 2011 at 5:22 PMWouldn’t go see a stand up routine that started with “Hey”, probably wouldn’t respond to a text that started with one either. (okay, I’m a guy, you’re right I’d jump on the text faster than Lindsay Lohan jumping on a “get out of jail free card in a game of Monopoly), but if I were a sophisticated modern lady, probably not…
Dewayne’s Digital Photography: Histograms Revisited
Bryan says
May 22, 2011 at 5:36 PMI know many people that still send out a hey…It seems that the English language has come down to liitle texts tid bits…which is sad…
Sales Expert
persuasive selling abilities says
May 22, 2011 at 9:07 PMHey! I thought I would just share it is lazy and not even interesting. What if she texted “hey” back? How do you hold a conversation that way?
Scott Sylvan Bell
Ian says
May 23, 2011 at 9:57 AMGreat point about lazines April! You actually reminded me and it touched on how to talk to a girl online. You’re very gunny. This is very great 🙂
Jodi Lipstein says
June 20, 2011 at 9:07 AMWow a really useful point about texting. Some guys must be lazy. Why do they do that April? How can I get them to be more assertive?
Em says
November 22, 2012 at 5:41 PMThis is spot on!! I got that text today from someone I’ve never met in person. Guys, for the love of god never send a text like that. We hate it. Nothing says I’m a lazy ass more like that text. And when I did respond? The jerk never texted back. Believe, you’ll be off her radar so fast your head will spin. Don’t ever just text “hey”.