There are dating principles and strategies which are perennial, wise, and indeed work at any age. And then there are dating tips which really are geared for the early 30s singles who are single never married, and then there are the single 30 somethings. The lifestyle situations, the relationship expectations, the employment life experiences really do vary by each decade.
Single Women Dating Tip #1: Change Your Dating Mindset to Positive
Ladies, if you are single in your 40s, whether from being widowed, divorced, or just not yet getting around to getting married, do examine your thoughts. What is the mindset you approach dating with? Is it positive or negative. When we’re honest with ourselves, we can find we can all be a little guilty of kvetching (complaining) to our girlfriends over Saturday breakfast of egg white omelets and lattes that “all men are dogs!” We’ll often do this just to be able to chime into the kvetchfest of Saturday brunch. It’s like the red badge of courage for single women in their 40s, even a few in their 30s. It’s ok to be human and grip a little and a few times a month.
But examine your mental thoughts and thinking. How do you really normally on average think about men? Treat men? And speak about men?
- “Men are dogs!”
- “All the good ones are taken.”
- “Only the rejects are single.”
Remember that song? “Accentuate the positive! Minimize the negative!” Well, that needs to become your approach to dating life and how you see men.
Well, when you think and somehow speak and behave like, “Only the rejects are single….” remember that your brain, the unconscious part of your mind, is including YOU in that label.
Yelch! That’s not very nice and loving of you! I want that both how you think of single men AND single women (you, ladies, YOU!) is positive, healthy, and loving.
As you know from your very own life, there are a million reasons for why you may wake up and find yourself single in your 40s. Let go of and change your dating mindset from one of negatives and limitations for dating and mating in your 40s. Instead, change your mind to one of positive possibilities for dating and courting for your forties.
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
Internet Dating and Relationship Expert
as seen in “Dating for Dummies” 3rd Edition
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G.E. Moon II says
April 7, 2011 at 11:28 AMThanks for the reminder to “accentuate the positive”! 🙂
Yours In Health!
G.E. Moon II
http://www.abundanthealthcenter.com/item/7-Steps-To-Amazing-Health—Spiral-Bound-46
Quit Smoking w Hipnosis Barcelona says
April 7, 2011 at 3:31 PMI think that, as you say, most of us don’t think (when we think) if we are thinking in positive or negative!
I had never thought before about what you exposed: that when you say, for example, something bad about singles, in your unconscious mind, if you are single, you represent the same bad negative that you just had!
Eva Palmer
Sonya Lenzo says
April 7, 2011 at 4:04 PMAmen to that, April.
There seems to be this natural progression.When we are young, say teenagers and 20’s, that dating and meeting people happens fairly regularly and easily.(“oh theres a cute one, there’s another one!). And mostly the ones we meet are not married.
But now with the onset of each new decade, we add a few (negative) pounds to our own baggage and it becomes harder and harder to meet and mingle. And when we do so, the folks we do meet are not as available as they used to be. This turns older daters bitter …so you are 100% right… an attitude adjustment of the positive kind IS a great first step!!
Who wants to spend Date 1 with someone bashing the opposite sex (the sex you happen to belong to!).
Sonya Lenzo
Las Vegas Air Conditioning Repairs says
April 7, 2011 at 4:11 PMI think a lot of people (me, too!) do exactly what you pointed out in so many aspects of our lives, trying to minimize our disappointment with a “those grapes must be sour” mentality, when really what we end up doing is minimizing our chances of a happy outcome and ensuring our disappointment.
Stay Cool!
Naomi Bettencourt
Neil Dhawan says
April 7, 2011 at 4:32 PMAttitude is everything, right April? And a great reminder that as both couples and singles we need to be kind and loving to ourselves, too. Especially us singles!
http://www.Geneflora.com
Peggy Larson says
April 7, 2011 at 6:06 PMA positive attitude is certainly more attractive, that’s for sure. A good reminder actually for both singles and couples really.
Peggy Larson
Jennifer Battaglino says
April 7, 2011 at 7:24 PMOnce again you make a great point. Be honest in how you are going into the dating world…is the mind open or closed? If you’ve already locked yourself into being negative then I can’t imagine you’re going to get very far.
Jen B
Personalized Empowerment – It’s Time
Dewayne Chriswell says
April 7, 2011 at 7:52 PMGreat post on not putting off on others your own negatives/biases. You never someone’s story know until you get to know that person. Have you ever seen the airport game, where people pass the time by creating identities for people they’ve never met? It’s a great way to pass the time, but I’d love to see how often those uninformed decisions are correct.
Dewayne Chriswell
http://dewaynechriswell.com/what-is-digital-photography/
Clare Delaney-Young says
April 7, 2011 at 9:09 PMExcellent point! I’d hate to be single again, and I’d certainly need to change my dating mindset. I wouldn’t have thought of that unless I had read your blog!
Chika Nwoko says
April 11, 2011 at 2:59 PMHi April,
Great points you make. I feel that it’s absolutely imperative to have a positive outlook on anything in life. Of course you can’t expect to manifest your ideal mate if you sub consciously are rejecting them.
In fact internet dating is definitely on the rise, what with so many busy professionals, and there are some good sites out there.
Great post, I trust that folks will take note.
Sincerely
Chika Nwoko
http://immadesimple.com/