Ladies Looking for Love After 40: Men Really DO Seek YOU, at Your Best
Indeed, as a midlife dating and relationship expert and online dating coach, single gals are often relating tales of their own beliefs that men want them all to be 20, gorgeous, body perfect, like centerfolds or Hollywood Celebrities or something. At least, that is what the single women are thinking and fearing. I particularly hear this from women over 45 at my live events and singles seminars.
Well, let me give you some relief. That is NOT the case.
Truth be told, it’s not an uncommon phase that divorced men over 45 and 50 or so will go through. It’s kind of like a second adolescence to re-enter the dating world and feel all young again and think that because they’re good looking, VGL in Online Personals speak, they should be able to date women 10-20 years their junior. It’s a fantasy. Of course, some actually will, and do date women much their junior. A few of the relationships prove real and lead to marriage.
However, for the most part, midlife single men discover that those women just have totally different interests and a lifestyle than theirs. Then they start to adjust their “Ideal Partner” search parameters to women who are closer in age to them, more their peers. However, over 45 and 50 years old, there is quite often an age difference of 5 – 8 years or so. But not always. Sometimes they are very close in age or the lady is the older of the two, but more like Liv Ullman in 40 Carats than “Cougar” style. Real relationships, not bar carnivorous trolling.
Indeed, what men, not boys, are actually looking for is some maturity which we can all work on.
And they want you to look YOUR best. They want you to make an effort to look good, to take care of yourself, and make a significant effort to look attractive, appealing in a feminine manner.
You do not have to look or be body perfect. Cancel the major plastic surgery appointment. (Now a little is fine if it helps you feel your most attractive YOU!).
What Do You Need to Do?
Care for Your Skin: Instead, do get your skin cared for well by a solid dermatologist and get facials regularly so your skin is its best. Remember to use a 35 SPF sunscreen to keep it youthful looking while protecting it from the sun’s rays and warding off skin cancer for your health’s sake.
Care for Your Hair: Also, next visit to your salon (I’m going tomorrow.) be sure to get your hair styled with a current style, not one from 10 years ago like the Jennifer Aniston look from 1995. Maybe look at her new look on the cover of GQ instead! Be sure to get your color and style updated regularly.
This is especially true after 40 and over 50. Be sure to still look timely and not massively outdated. Remember all those women in the 1970s who still sported super high and teased Beehive hairstyles when current styles were shagged and lower focused, not uplifting.
The idea here is to be YOUR best self.
Not someone else.
Indeed, single men (and single women) are attracted to REAL people. They just want us to make an effort to look GOOD, our best selves.
And they are right.
We are worth it!
Happy Dating and Relationships!
April Braswell
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