The Anatomy of Body Language: Using Your Voice to Flirt
I think of the folks from The South here in the United States really have this down well. It seems to be part of the culture and simply in The Air in the South. The people are quite charming and world renowned for their graciousness. People of all ages are lightly socially flirting with each other every day. They seem to have gotten the IDEA and FLIRTING PRINCIPLE that flirting is a COMPLIMENT. Not that it is a promise or prelude to something major just because you are flirting. So the little boy at church flirts with the elderly lady in the Bible study class and he is just being charming as a young man and acknowledging that she is still a woman – a lady – worthy of a man’s attending attention at any age.
So, what can you do with Vocal Intonation? You make your voice and then play with it and speak words of interest and allure quite softly. Play with your VOCAL VOLUME each day and observe people’s responses.
Let you masculine voice be quite firm and take on an air of authority and curl her toes while you are speaking with her, and then take you voice down to a soft near whisper of endearment to pique her interest in you.
Ladies, you move from a rapid banter enthusiastic flow of words and then slow your pace down to a honey tone and pace. Any time we vary our vocal tone, we break people’s trance expectation and startle them just a touch which creates a little SNAP wake up and fosters interest in us. We become delightfully unexpected and intriguing. Let the PACE and TONE of your voice become another DANCE in your flirting conversation.
I particularly like watching the TV show Designing Women from the mid-1980s to listen to a variety of Southern voices and feminine women BEING feminine women. Each of the modern Southern career women was alluring and attractive in her own way. Go ahead and watch this show and practice a bad fake Southern Accent. I won’t tell on you! Have fun doing that and being PLAYFUL with your voice.
Let your VOICE LILT and EBB and FLOW. The VARIETY is what makes for FLIRTATION interest.
You’ll combine the movements of your voice and your words with Body Language Flirting Gestures which emphasize what you’re doing and creates greater interest.
So, for example, on a FIRST DATE, happily banter and chat in those first several minutes of your date, and then when your drinks arrive, raise you glass, touch theirs, and lower your voice to softly sotto voce say, “To a wonderful first meeting….”
Additionally, at some point after the first 10 minutes when you two have established some initial RAPPORT, and you are more turned towards each other in conversation, admire something about them or what your date has just said, lowering and deepening your voice, as you say it, touch their forearm or upper arm to emphasize the point. You are now ORCHESTRATING multiple elements of BODY LANGUAGE FLIRTING to your advantage! And isn’t it fun? Isn’t your date having a simply marvelous time with you? Of course they are!
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
Body Language Flirting Dating and Relationship Expert
Eva Palmer says
September 23, 2010 at 7:14 AMHi April!
I htink I understand what you mean. D0n’t you think that for some people it can require a lot of practice? I don’t know if on a first date, nervous about sooo many things I could pay attention to my voice! Or maybe yes…? I guess is a question of practice, self confidences, knowing the nuances of your voice,…
Michael D Walker says
September 23, 2010 at 9:50 AMHave to admit ever since I stopped doing my radio show that i’ve forgotten to be more attentive to the nuances of my voice.
Thanks for a good reminder!
Michael
The Success Secrets
Jose Escalante says
September 23, 2010 at 3:05 PMYour amazing April. Controlling your voice is very important. I know that is something your friend Dave Lakhani talks at lot about.
Jose Escalante
Steve Chambers says
September 23, 2010 at 3:09 PMHow we use our voice can have a powerful affect on others and so the voice can be a great asset when it comes to flirting and dating.
Steve
Dennis Perry says
September 23, 2010 at 3:39 PMApril,
This is a great article (as usual!). My wife is a country girl from the south and the first time I heard her speak I was hooked. That was over 30 years ago and I’m still smitten!
Voice is a very powerful tool in our love arsenal.
Dennis
Sabrina Peterson says
September 23, 2010 at 3:48 PMI love “Designing Women”! I always wanted to grow up to be Julia Sugarbaker.
Voices can turn you off as well as on.
Sabrina Peterson, NASM CPT, CES
Corrective Exercise for Every Body
Rae & Mark says
September 23, 2010 at 6:33 PMAs somebody who, at school, was told to mime in singing practice because my voice was literally monotone, this would be really tough for me! 🙂
Rae & Mark
Dr. Wendy Schauer says
September 23, 2010 at 9:05 PMSouthern belle’s certainly have the honey voice down. Very charming. I agree with Sabrina, some have voices that turn you off immediately.
Yours In Health!
Dr. Wendy M. Schauer, D.C., R.K.C.
Karen Van Ness says
September 24, 2010 at 7:14 AMYou are right about Southern men (and women) – they take a more courtly form, and are truly gracious. I grew up in the South and my mom is a Southerner, and I always enjoy the time there when we visit extended family. People love to visit and really take the time to talk, it makes for a much more enjoyable time.
Karen Van Ness
Rob Northrup says
September 25, 2010 at 1:25 PMIn the South, you need to pay attention to your sirs and ma’ams and also make sure to pronounce pecan and creek correctly. And always bring a six-pack for your dates old man when you pick her up for your date at the pig picking…
🙂
Seize the Day,
Survival Rob of the South
Jennifer Battaglino says
September 28, 2010 at 1:04 PMI love your post and i did love that show! GREAT new design Ms. Braswell which really compliments the professional and expert you already are!
Jen B
Natural Remedies for Anxiety
Carol says
October 9, 2010 at 4:13 AMApril, great flirting tips. It pays to remember that the key element in flirting is the nonverbal one. Learn body language. Study this article and buy a book on it. It will save you time, energy and money. Not to mention heartache.
Wallie says
October 12, 2010 at 11:37 AMHi April I like that I can be a better flirt with using my voice. Flirting is fun.
Eva Palmer says
April 2, 2011 at 6:23 PMDating practices are so different in the USA than they are here in Barcelona. Here we mainly drink coffees in groups.